Faith to Cross the World

Who is before you, where could she possibly be of any use. A shamed girl. A piece and chunk of sin. A stray with
the spirit that goes before her. Who is before you. A girl shamed from the outside world. But in her world,
she is comforted. It is a struggle to formulate thoughts. It is a struggle to come to her senses. For when she isn't
rampantly going around with elevated charm and such, she is in a daze. It is helpful for her to write her feelings,
or make a short video. An ocean is her inner world and a mystery to all others is else. There is a lot of crying and
pleading to God for deliverance, because her future is not the slight bit clear. But if she behaves, it might as well
be something beautiful. She would forgive herself and devout herself more to Jesus. For He is the only one that
rescued her from this storm. A storm that starts with effervesance. A great spirit that then turns of her and starts
to condem those around her. What turbulance, and no sleep. There is a mission before her and it begins with a
extreme duality and discerning of the spirits. When in truth she should have been more discerning of her own.
A violent shift from good to evil, back and forth. Euphoria and an invincible power. Owning the world in a day.
But at the moment, just in reflection, it all seemed pretty true. Seeing those souls who were barely alive. With
hardly any spirit at all. Her observations were that everyone was in a flock and they were in a sense blind to their
surroundings. Detatched and so similar. So here she was, in this pool who irritated her to the point of reacting.
Then, and then, she was believing that her mission was from God, she justified the stealing. God provides for all
our needs. And to describe the feeling of complete oneness with the Lord, a rush. And she believed it, she believed
it all. How she was on a mission from God and the day matched its intensity just right. It felt like she was predestining
her life and purpose. It was the best feeling she has ever had. Imagine it, the feeling like your world was rotating
all around you. And people affirmed that, and enviroments affirmed that, and Jesus affirmed that. Take me
back. Where the was no fear or anxiety or worry. Take me back there God, I know I have this story to
tell, or adleast to show. In memory everything was sweet except the rebellion of my parents. Where a spirit crept
in and showed all the ugly side of them. That felt real too. But I have asked for forgiveness and I have made amends.
But God oh God, take away my shame, fear and doubt. For me to go on, in faith. In faith as I had when I
seemingly crossed the world.