To My Father's Faithful and Loyal Son

The feelings of both shock and resentment I saw on your face yesterday when our father hurried down the road to greet me are completely understandable considering the conditions under which I left so long ago. When father tearfully embraced me with such force, I could not help but to be overcome with emotion and I began to sob. Then he celebrated my return home by organizing such a magnificent party that even the neighbors were in awe. I was unsure whether he would even acknowledge me when I first entertained the thought of coming home again. I certainly did not expect father to barbecue an entire heifer, over the return of such an unworthy son.

I must confess that at the time I arrogantly demanded my inheritance and left home, I just did not know, nor did I appreciate, the depth of our father's love. Because I have since experienced his amazing capacity to love, I also now lament over the pain I must have caused him when I rejected him years ago.

When I finally stopped sobbing in his arms like a child, I was able to speak in private to our father of all the terrible things I experienced when I left him. I was completely honest with him for the first time in my life. After I begged him for forgiveness, I pleaded for an opportunity to be one of his simple workers in exchange for food and a dry place to sleep. I told him that the "old me" did not fully appreciate what real love was, how important it was and how I took his fatherly love for granted before leaving his home so long ago. I had no idea of the real evil that lurks outside the protective arms of his love. I pray brother that you never experience that evil first hand like I did.

I now know that my father deserved a much better son and you deserved a better brother. Not realizing what a great gift it was to be born into his household, I threw it away by embracing a lifestyle contrary to our father's teachings. I viewed our father as old-fashioned and too strict. I mistakenly believed that his sole goal in life was to deny me what I believed were life's pleasures. His teachings, I now know, are meant to bring us closer to him and in that way he protects us from the outside forces of evil that are always skulking in search of new lives to destroy.

You were the son that stood with our father for so many years while I was throwing away my inheritance in the company of those who dwell in the dark alleys of our world preying on man's weaknesses. While I still had money in my pockets, I never thought of you, or our father. I thought I was free to "enjoy" life with my new so-called "friends" in ways that were denied me at home. You on the other hand, my brother, did not resort to a self-centered life full of excess where the focus was exclusively on yourself. If I cannot comprehend the love our father still has for a wretched son like me, I certainly cannot imagine the amount of love and esteem he must have for a faithful and loyal son like you.

As I said, I have asked our father to accept me as a servant. I would be enormously grateful if he did just that and nothing more. But, since I returned, he instead treats me as if I never left. He calls me his son and treats me with the same love that I received from him as a young child.

Here is my dilemma brother: On the one hand I know, and I am sure you would agree, I do not deserve to be treated as a son. On the other hand father insists that I accept a place in his household again – as his son - as if I never left. You see brother, if I deny his wish because I feel unworthy to be called his son, I would again be guilty of thinking that I am wiser than our father. I do not want to commit this act of arrogance again. Before I returned home, I vowed not to ever again presume that I know better than father. So, even though his desire to forgive me is contrary to my need to punish myself, I will humbly submit completely to his will in this matter.

Father explained it to me in this way: I must accept his forgiveness totally after repenting for all my offenses and to resist any notions of unworthiness. Father said that he knows very well the dark forces that I was associating with. He told me that his enemy would purposely prey on my feelings of remorse in order to separate me from him once again. Father admonished me not to confuse remorse with my heartfelt repentance. He said, the former leads to separation from him while the other leads to his love, forgiveness and coming home. Brother! I pray for your help in coming home.

With love and humility,

Your Brother