What is True Love?

When God decided to redeem the world, He gave us His only Son, Jesus Christ. He gave us Himself to be born, be exiled, live, be killed, and rise from the dead for us. He gave up everything He knew for us and our salvation. We know God loves us simply because He created us, but, His love was solidly reiterated when He was killed for us. This is our model for perfect, or true, love. To become less than ourselves for others redemption. To give all of ourselves for others. Such a model of love we as humans can never achieve perfectly. But thankfully, we have other examples.

St. Joseph was a simple man. A carpenter. So he must have been a hard worker. He knew how to see things through to completion. He was an honorable man, which we know from how he planned to divorce Mary; quietly so she was not harmed. He was obedient to God. He followed instructions that he received in dreams to protect his family. At any point Joseph could've said "This is too much for me to endure. I can't do this any more." But he shows us what true love can be for an imperfect human. He protects his family. He goes through all of the hard times, the rough journey into Egypt with Mary and the infant Jesus, he teaches Jesus his trade. He honors Mary by how they live their lives. Even though Joseph never father's his own son, he and Mary show us exactly what true love is through how they raised Jesus and honored their vows to each other.

When Joseph and Mary were married, they recited vows. Of course these days we still recite vows to our spouse. Most of the time they're along the lines of- "I, [name], take you [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward; for better or for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part." When we say these words we often don't think of all the hard times about to come our way. When we think of "worse" no one thinks they will be homeless or finding themselves acting like a single parent due to separation. When we think of "poorer" we aren't seeing ourselves filing for bankruptcy. And usually when we think of "sickness", we aren't visualizing our spouse dying of cancer. But the harsh reality of our world is, these extremes are happening. But God, in His infinite knowledge, knew that humans would face these hardships. He knew we needed something to hold us accountable in our marriages outside of our family and friends. Society tells us that love is some feeling that, if it goes away, we can simply "find love" with someone else. That "being happy" is always due to who you're with (or not with). God tells us differently. God tells wives to be submissive to their husbands. Yes that means that wives should listen to their husband. But, that also means to respect their husband. That also means to let their husbands lead their families. Many in today's society don't understand the depth of "submission" as stated in the Bible. But it is so much more than women being told to be a doormat! Women are called to be a partner, not the "leader". God then tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. That's not hard right? Love your wife to the point of being beaten, nailed to a cross and suffocated to death over a period of three hours. Ready men? Go.

God knew marriage was not going to be an easy road. God knew there was no way we could see into the future and know "oh we should've moved" or "wow we haven't had a date in how long?" or "you're trying another medication?" God knew that we would need something to remind us of our commitment. God's examples of Love show us that love is not simply some frilly, fun, exciting thing. Love is hard. Love is our actions. Love is a huge choice. Just as we are called to choose to follow Christ every day when we wake up, we are called to choose to love our spouse every day when we wake up. Whether they deserve our love, whether we "feel" like loving them, and whether or not they even notice us. Because that is true love. True love is choosing and showing and doing for your spouse. That is what gets us through those hard times. Through the poverty of life. Through the sickness that may take hold. True love prevails because true love allows God to prevail over the world through the very humans he allowed to be created.