Living in Liminal Time

I first heard the term “liminal time” from Sr. Audrey Doetzel, a Sister of Our Lady of Sion. Liminal living is living in an intermediate state of life. It’s kind of like the in-between time when perhaps we’re single, but we want to be married. Or we’re living in an apartment, but we’d prefer to be in a house. Maybe we’re sick, but we want to be healthy.

Liminal living is a time of chaos because we’re not settled into the life we’d prefer. We sense change is ahead, but it’s not quite happened yet. It’s a limbo of sorts. It’s a suspension between life and death. It’s living between what is common and familiar and the unknown.

It’s the place I’ve lived, since my husband left our marriage four and a half years ago, on the edge of fear. My marriage died and there was a feeling of being in limbo. There was the limbo of being married but separated, the limbo of not knowing if he’d ever return and the limbo between divorce and annulment.

The last four and a half years of my life have been on the threshold of change. From the end of my 20-year marriage straight into a diagnosis of cancer, my life was about living in the unrest of chaos. I was crushed, rejected and heartbroken and the effects rippled out to touch every part of my being.

But something unexpectedly happened. The Holy Spirit began moving wildly through my life.

Sr. Audrey explains that living in liminal time can be a place where great growth can take place. It’s not all tragic. It’s a holy space, Sacred. Transformation can occur if we become present in the moment. If we allow ourselves to move away from fear and head into courage.

This beautifully tragic time of my life allowed me to know deep silence, prayer, adoration, and God’s love. I’ve was awakened to the fire that comes from knowing God’s presence. I’m now receptive to God’s plan for me. It’s true, suffering was experienced – physical, mental and emotional suffering – but I grew spiritually. And through it all, I have been made into a new person.

Christ can do that for you. “For the love of Christ impels us, once we have come to the conviction that one died for all; therefore all have died.” (2 Cor 5:14) One day at a time, I learned to live for others, no longer living for myself. The despair was turned into hope through prayer, Eucharistic Adoration, regular reconciliation and, most importantly, the Eucharist.

Liminal time can be cruel, but if you can be attentive to the present moment and live in the “now”– not the past or the future – the Holy Spirit can work while you’re adrift. And you will be amazed where your boat lands!