Popsicle Kisses in a Weary World

      As I struggle with writer’s block, my three-year old ambles into the room, half-eaten popsicle in her hand, scales my recliner and plants her cold, cherry-flavored lips on mine. Tired as I am, it’s a pleasant surprise from a little girl who is often fickle with her affection, and a reminder of the power present in a gentle gesture.

     You may think I’ve gone soft, but we could use more gentle gestures in our world. Not necessarily popsicle kisses (though they’re pretty nice), just unexpected kindness in unlikely places, an antidote to the common cynicism and surliness around us.

     We sometimes forget our capacity to cultivate kindness, and I’m as bad as anyone.  Just today, I was turning left onto New Circle Road when an oncoming driver ignored (or overlooked) the yield sign and cut me off, provoking a sustained blast from my horn and a one-finger salute from the other driver.

     With blood boiling, I followed him from a distance, looking for another chance to honk his way and shake my disapproving head. I overlooked the fact that as a Christian—let alone one who is short, middle-aged and chubby—I had no business getting into a roadside rumble. Fortunately, sound thinking—and my particular exit ramp—took priority.

     My road rage illustrates a common problem. In an era of busyness, we can tend to see people as schedule impediments. Thus, waiting in the grocery line behind an elderly woman struggling to write a check becomes a source of frustration, provoking rolling eyes or an impatient sigh. Losing sight of her intrinsic value, we see her as a soul-less obstacle to our self-important plans.

     As the late priest and author Fulton J. Sheen once wrote, “Man without a soul is a thing; something to be used, not something to be reverenced….The courtesies, the amenities, the urbanities, the gentility that one mortal ought to have for another are neglected.”

     Perhaps we should consider that this woman in the check-out line is more than a speed bump to my plans; she is quite likely someone’s mother, wife, grandmother, daughter or friend. Like all persons, she is a sacred mystery with her own unique story, even if she’s making me late. Who knows, maybe she could even use a little help.

    And maybe the cashier, also perturbed by the elderly shopper, needs reassurance that I’m not going to blame him for something he can’t control. What’s more, he might need a kind word, and for someone to recognize his intrinsic dignity without condescension. 

     If we could train ourselves to extend such gentle gestures in similar situations—to the drive-thru worker, the bank teller, the challenging student, and even the driver who cuts us off, I have to believe that Lexington, at least the part we pass through each day, would be on average a more pleasant place. A held door, a smile in the elevator, an encouraging word; these and other little acts of benevolence are remarkably contagious.

     Such generosity, however, doesn’t always come easy. Our innate weaknesses have always made us susceptible to treating each other, even those we love most, with merciless judgment, especially in our conversations. As Blaise Pascal once said, “If everyone knew what everyone said of each other, there would not be four friends in the world.”

    Genuine goodness requires even more effort in an increasingly toxic culture, as caustic bloggers, sensationalistic journalists, and voyeuristic paparazzi enable us to delight in the failings of the famous. One can hardly avoid the magazine covers or news headlines: A politician’s affair, a pop star’s stint in rehab; it seems like harmless fun.

    Not surprisingly, the internet—for all its benefits—also provides us new avenues to express and read harsh opinions, often with an acidity fueled by anonymity. What’s more, with the rise of social networking websites, everyone is fair game; classmates, co-workers, and neighbors. Without knowing it, we depersonalize each other and erode our common civility.

   Perhaps we should resolve, imperfect though we are, to go out of our way today to express simple kindness in our words and deeds, knowing that each gentle gesture is the equivalent of a popsicle kiss, an unexpected surprise to a weary world.