Psalm 103

Psalm 103 - A Reflection During the Seventh Week of Ordinary Time

Bless the LORD, O my soul;
and all my being, bless his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits.
He pardons all your iniquities,
he heals all your ills.
He redeems your life from destruction,
he crowns you with kindness and compassion,
Who fills your days with good things,
so your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

As I sat down a month ago and addressed the high school graduation announcements for my daughter, shivers went down my arm. The thought of what she had put me through during her 4 years in high school shook me. She had tested me, disobeyed me and tore me to my core. Then she left me to go live in her father’s home. And now her high school days were coming to an end and soon she would be off to college.

My life these last years was destruction partly because of my daughter’s behavior. I thought back to the worst night of my life. It was at the turn of the new year in 2012 when my daughter was a freshman. My husband and I had recently separated and I was physically weak from cancer surgery. I had gone to bed early on New Year’s Eve. I was just 2 weeks post-op from a double mastectomy.

Shortly after midnight, I awoke with the uncomfortable feeling of tightness around my chest. The bandages from the mastectomy squeezed me, but this was an interior tightness. An uneasy feeling was in my gut. “Go check on your daughter,” I heard in my head. I hobbled downstairs to the basement where she was sleeping.

There she was, having a New Year’s Eve party in my basement. She and her boyfriend were on FaceTime. She wore headphones (and little else) and so she did not hear me coming down the stairs. Even though she and her friend were not physically together, they were having their own party over cyberspace.

I froze for a few seconds and then I reached for her phone. I saw her friend on the other end scantilly clad as well. I hit the off button and threw her phone on the floor. I screamed profanity. All I could think about was satan invading my home. I felt revulsion. My daughter wailed because she had been caught. The look on her face told me this would not be the end of her antics, but only the beginning. She was right.

Quickly, my mind wandered back to addressing her graduation announcements. I relaxed and let my hand continue writing. Things had changed. Four years had gone by. We had reconciled. God had healed me and my daughter. He pardoned our sins. My love for my daughter was out of this world.

Right then, for a brief moment, an enormous amount of love overwhelmed me. I began to cry. I love my daughter so much! Then, I heard a small voice say, “this is how much I love you, even when you’ve sinned against me.”

Aww! I love you, Lord. Bless your Holy Name. Thank you for healing us. Please keep my daughter safe at college and fill her days with your goodness. Keep us both focused on you, O Lord. Amen.