Celebrating The Year of the Family: Resurrecting Family Communication

In 1994, the United Nations proclaimed, "The family constitutes the basic unit of society and therefore warrants special attention.” This year marks the 30th Anniversary of this proclamation and is being celebrated as the International Year of the Family. Wednesday, May 15th, will be recognized as the “International Day of Families.”

The UN’s message aligns with Catholic teaching on the family and society, which states, “The family is the original cell of social life,” and “relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society” (CCC 2207).

Forged in Conversation

The relationships among family members reflect our life in Christ. “The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason, it can and should be called a domestic church” (CCC 2204).

Family relationships constitute a “privileged community called to achieve a ‘sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children’s upbringing’” (CCC 2206).

This privileged community—like all human relationships—is forged through conversation. The communion we experience (or lack thereof) in families is based on the quality of our communication. The Latin word “communicare,” meaning to share or to make common, is the root of English words like “communication,” “community,” and “communion.”

In other words, our family relationships are shaped by the loving communication and examples set by our parents. Our relationships with siblings, cousins, and extended family are maintained and deepened through conversation.

Thus, as we focus on families this month and throughout the International Year of the Family, we must ask ourselves, what happens when family conversation breaks down? Is family communication dead?

Resurrecting Family Conversation

By nearly every measure of family well-being, including time spent together, discipline, structure, monitoring of children, positive communication, commitment to family, religious beliefs, social support, and family dinners, the health of families is declining. This suggests that healthy family conversation is dead—or at least on life support.

While the “causes of death” in family communication are numerous—ranging from technology use and demographics to divorce, economics, and the “idolization of youth sports”—the fact remains: the only way to fix the family is by resurrecting intentional family conversation.

So, how do we rehabilitate family conversation? These simple strategies are derived from the Sacred Conversation Model, which is based on what scripture and science teach us about how to have life-changing conversation.

1  Put Down the Phone: Nothing kills attention span, meaningful conversation, or the opportunity for cooperation like mindless scrolling.

2  Make an Invitation: We can’t force our families to talk; we can only invite meaningful conversation. If you host it, they will come.

3  Be Present: Showing up is half the battle. Being fully present means being physically, emotionally, and spiritually available to those in your family.

4  Start with Intention: Begin your family conversations with a specific intention or goal—to learn something new about each other, to find a common interest, or to uplift one another. Your intentions will shape the quality of the conversation and the outcomes.

5  Ask More Questions: Inquiry is a powerful conversational tool. High-functioning groups, teams, and families ask more questions of each other than those who struggle. When conversations get heated, don’t react with accusations or jump into debate mode. Ask one or two more questions to seek understanding before being understood.

6  Focus on the Light: Approach each other with a spirit of positivity, appreciation, and recognition. See the light of Christ in each other’s faces and respond accordingly.

7  Avoid Gossip: St. Paul is explicit about this one—“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

Becoming disciples of Christ “means accepting the invitation to belong to God’s family” (CCC 2233). By following these simple strategies for resurrecting family communication, you can do your small part to strengthen your domestic church and improve society one conversation at a time.