The First Thanksgiving

This was the fourth Thanksgiving I’ve spent as a single, separated (not yet divorced) mother. I’ll admit, it’s become much easier. This year, my heart was drawn to all of my friends and relatives who are single. The holiday season can be a time of loneliness. I chose to keep my mind focused on those who were single or widowed and pray for them throughout my day. This brought me peace.

This year was much different from my first Thanksgiving as a separated mother. My first year apart from my daughters was a shock. It was 2012 and I had been diagnosed with breast cancer on October 29th. My plans had been to be in Florida with my family and extended family. We had planned a beach-front Thanksgiving vacation a year in advance. Instead, I found myself alone in Little Rock with breast cancer. Detour taken.

It appeared God was playing the cruelest of jokes on me. I had discovered an unfaithful husband and Stage 2 breast cancer within two weeks of each other. It didn’t seem real to me and it didn’t seem like my life. Up until that point, I had not suffered an illness or a loss of this magnitude. But, I would soon discover, God showed up for me everywhere I turned.

The first place I discovered God that Thanksgiving was in my father. He had buried my mom just four months earlier in July. My parents had been married 51 years when my mom died of cancer. She had struggled for 8 years with what began as colon cancer. Had it not been for my unusual circumstances, my dad would have been left at home alone for his first Thanksgiving without his wife. I was so grateful to be with him. How could I possibly mope around all weekend when my father was grieving?

The two of us spent the weekend with my three brothers and their families. On Thanksgiving morning, the two of us went to Mass. The priest reminded us to be thankful. I had to dig deep into my heart to be thankful. I discovered I was truly thankful I had a father who was still alive and could sit with me in Mass. I was thankful I had three brothers who I could depend on to help me. I was thankful I was alive and the cancer was treatable.

The second place I discovered God was at a Catholic wedding. My father and I attended a Saturday evening wedding. The groom was one of my dad’s golfing buddies. I witnessed two senior citizens in their 70s giddy with love. Their love offered me hope. I realized that sad times had preceded their wedding because both bride and groom had lost their first spouses. There was also a moment in the wedding where the priest remembered both of their former spouses. Tears were shed.

The groom’s daughter, whom I met for the first time at the wedding, was a breast cancer survivor. She shared her story with me at the reception and filled me with confidence. I knew that I could go back home and tackle my cancer. It was as if God had placed me at that wedding to show me He had plans for me. I just needed to trust Him. He had my back.

Yes, this Thanksgiving was much easier and time has helped heal my wounds. But more than time, the family God gave me has helped heal me. I have a father and three brothers whom I love. I also have a heavenly Father and many brothers and sisters in Christ who sustain me in my weakness and loneliness. God has always proven himself in my weakness.

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9