
It never ceases to amaze me how, even though I consider myself a devout Catholic, I can still come to know Jesus more and more.
While the incident I am writing about happened earlier this month, I want to also go back to Good Friday. This year I had the privilege of being inside the beautiful St. Patrick's Cathedral for about five hours. Certainly many would consider that a daunting task, but I saw beauty and peace in it.
One of the events that holy day was a reflection on the last seven phrases of Christ. I typed up a note about the reflection on my Facebook and even did a devotion at Regent University, a non-Catholic Christian university. Some of the most meaningful three hours of my life were spent in that reflection. I came to realize so much more how, with the help from the Reverend James Martin, SJ, we have a connection to Jesus. Throughout the reflection, the overarching theme was that when you pray to Jesus, you are praying to someone who understands you. Now I knew beforehand that Jesus was both God and man, but I really felt a new relationship with Him on Good Friday. That was all only further deepened while watching The Passion of the Christ for the first time on the evening of Easter Sunday.
I recently realized another kind of connection with Jesus, again at St. Patrick's Cathedral. If anyone is guilty of using too much holy water, it's me. But there are certainly worse things than too much holy water, right? That Wednesday night was different though, because the way in which I crossed myself with the holy water, it felt like tears were pouring down my face. I'm not ashamed to admit that later, during Cardinal Dolan's homily for the Mass, I was pretty much sobbing as he talked about the 21 Coptic Christian martyrs and reminded us that some questions in life won't get answered until we get to heaven. Before all that though, while I was standing in line for Confession, there were no actual tears yet.
At least those tears were not from me. I did feel the presence of God and His Son, Jesus, or, as I have heard the Cardinal refer to Him as, "Brother Jesus." Jesus lived a human life, which although it was without sin, still means that Jesus can relate to us. And he lived and died for me and you, as the Son of God, yes, but as the Son of Man also.
I cannot fathom how blessed I am to have been born in the United States of America, into a loving family. I just started a new job. Life is going all right. I have not been ravaged by war or natural disasters or a physical illness. I do have my own fair share of issues though. And one of them is a personal sin I have struggled mightily with, for years now. My faith, especially the act of Confession, has helped me get on my way to overcome that sin, however.
So in a sense, I feel that the holy water was more than just my typical excessive use of holy water. Some signs are just too coincidental to be a coincidence, and are actually a reminder from God. I think that God tends to do that, send us signs. And I also think that He delights in it when we notice Him. Perhaps that holy water then was a sign and reminder that Brother Jesus, who knows me, loves me, and died for me, thinks of me and cares me for, more than I can ever know.