Loving My Enemies

Romans 12:14,17-18, 20-21 Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. Do not repay anyone evil for evil; If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. Rather, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if his is thirsty, give him something to drink....." Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

Matthew 5: 43-44, 48 You have heard it said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.

This, "loving my enemies" thing, is a topic that I struggle with daily. I have had this at the top of my "must tend to" spiritual work list for probably more than a year thanks to a dear friend who so aptly pointed out my tendency to get my hackles riled pretty easily when it came to controversial topics such as politics or abortion. He so accurately spotted a weakness, one of many, in my attempt to become the person God created me to be. There is absolutely nothing natural about loving our enemies or those who hate us, but natural is not the point. The point is that God says we have to do this. It isn't something we might consider doing if we are so inclined. This is hard - very hard. It is only with God's help that we can even desire to do this- more or less actually carry it out. My imperfect human heart is resistant to love of those who hate me and of the forgiveness that is necessary to even tread into this territory of universal, unconditional love; but it is just this universal, unconditional love that is at the heart of this command. Jesus Christ came to be the perfect example for us. He didn't just give this lip service, which I can easily do, but he did it. He even loved and forgave those who crucified him, pleading with his Father for their forgiveness. Loving my enemies requires humility. In order to overcome my own selfishness and sense of superiority or self-righteousness I must realize in a very profound way that God loves this person just as much as he loves me. I don't have a "special" sign hanging around my neck. Just as God loves me, despite my daily falls and failures - he loves my enemy in the very same way. I don't get "Jesus loves me" brownie points for going to mass daily, saying the rosary, or giving money to the poor. He doesn't love me more because I might be listening a bit more attentively to his presence in my life. After all, what makes me think I am right in all circumstances when I disagree with someone on a controversial topic or someone doesn't happen to see clearly some parts of this spiritual journey that I happen to embrace wholeheartedly. I still have a lot of work to do. But just as with any learned behavior, and this one is sure not natural, I must practice, practice, practice, and pray God has lots and lots of patience, forgiveness, and unconditional love waiting in his heavenly wings for me. Just like riding a bike, learning a foreign language, or becoming adept at a sport, I have to keep trying to love my enemies, even when I fail miserably over and over. So what I have learned thus far, is that I need to be aware of the necessity to react differently in the midst of an encounter that might provoke feelings less than loving. I have learned that emotion is a huge part of this equation and has to be dealt with. It cannot be totally eliminated from the equation because it is part of being human. Emotion is very powerful and very spontaneous. Often these encounters just catch me off guard and I have a knee-jerk reaction? The trick to loving my enemies has to include removing or at least reining in the emotion and purposefully choosing love despite an overwhelming inclination to hate. Secondly, I have to, in my awareness, choose how to react and I have found that many times that means not reacting, or just letting it go. I am a very spontaneous person but when it comes to this, I have to "stifle it" as Archie Bunker would have said. I have to very unnaturally choose to disengage and not respond because generally that response is less than Godly. I have, in this growing process, truly discovered that hate begets hate and love begets love. We have to fight evil with love. So the last piece of this is to really analyze the source of my anger and try to see that God loves this person just as he loves me and that is what he is calling me to do to. It involves first recognizing the feelings, second, realizing what God is calling me to do, which is probably totally opposite of my emotion and natural inclination, and then responding how he wants me to. This sounds like a pretty simple equation but there is nothing simple about it. It requires a lifetime of practice and I am getting a very late start. Lord, I know what you want from me, what you expect from me, that this is a command. Please grant me the grace and mercy to become perfect just as my Father is perfect. Becoming perfect is a command too, and appears only four short verses later. I guess that is on my list as well.