Second-Class Children

Frenchie, our Bichon Friese, loves to curl up next to me while I’m watching television or typing on my laptop. On the other hand, Happy Bear, our Pomeranian, usually stays across the room on the carpet as Frenchie cuddles next to me. I can’t help buy melt when I see him looking at me, his front legs tucked under his muzzle and his coal-black eyes staring mournfully at me as if to say, “Don’t you want me to be next to you, also?”

Of course I do. So, I get up, gently carry him to the couch and lay him on my chest. Invariably, Happy takes a deep sigh, rests his muzzle on my thigh, and falls asleep as I continue watching television. Those who own dogs or cats know it just doesn’t get any better than that.

I suppose I could be accused of anthropomorphizing our dogs, associating human characteristics to them. But it happens nearly 100% of the time when Frenchie is curled up next to me and I have to gather Happy Bear to be with us on the couch.

I use that image to try to illustrate an important point about God and His children who have come to Him by faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.

One day recently, when Happy was looking desolately at Frenchie and me, a thought dropped into my head. How many Christians feel like they’re less loved than others in God’s family?

In the past half-century that I’ve walked with the Lord, I’ve met many Christians who, like Happy Bear, think of themselves as second-class children of God, as if the Father prefers to snuggle up with others of His children but remains distant to them.

What a tragedy it is to believe God plays favorites among His own children. We’ll find NOTHING of that in the whole of Scripture. Indeed, we find quite the opposite. For example, listen to James speak to that false idea: (James 2:9) "But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors." Or this text in Proverbs 28:21 – “To show partiality is not good, because for a piece of bread a man will transgress.” And since God warns us against showing partiality to others, do we think He violates His own commandment? Of course not!

Now hear our Lord Jesus speak: John 16:27 “For the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came forth from the Father.”  Listen to the apostle John: (1 John 3:1) “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are.”

These texts, and every one like them, are not directed at the few of God’s children, or even to the many. They are directed to 100% of them. Why do you think Jesus spoke of the Good Shepherd who left the 99 to look for the one? It’s because He loves the one as much as the 99.

Some of you might remember the Smothers’ Brothers Comedy Hour. The audience roared with laughter when Tommy complained to his brother Dick, “Mom always liked you best.”

But it’s never funny when such things are true in a family, as happens far too often even in Christian families, when a child feels his parent cares more for a sibling than for him or her. And such poisonous relationships hold within themselves the seeds of family discord and destruction.

Think for a moment about how it turned out for Isaac and Rebecca’s sons – Jacob and Esau. Jacob knew their father cared more for Esau than for him, and Esau could easily sense their mother cared more for Jacob than him.

AND how did that all turn out? If you know the story, Esau’s progeny remained at war with Jacob’s progeny for generations. It’s all recorded in Genesis and throughout the Old Testament when the writers talk about Edom – another name for Esau. In fact, Herod Antipas – ruler over Israel in the days of John the Baptist and Jesus the Christ – was of Edomite (Idumean) descent.

The sin of favoritism carried over to Jacob’s children. Jacob made it no secret that he cared more for his son Joseph than he did for his other eleven sons. They, in turn, were so jealous of Joseph that they sold him into Egyptian slavery and let their father, Jacob, believe a wild beast had killed him.

So, what does all this have to do with us in 2026? I know that kind of destructive favoritism happens in a lot of families. And it should not be surprising when a Christian who comes from such a family carries that hurt into their relationship with God, thinking God doesn’t love them like He loves others. It’s not surprising that they think of themselves as second-class children in the family of God.

Some of you may come from families like that, which is why you’re not absolutely convinced that your Father in heaven loves you equally as he loves the person sitting next to you.

Oh! But He does. God is Love itself (1 John 4:8,16). He’s the very essence of love. There is no part of Him that is not 100% love. Therefore, it’s impossible that He would be partial to any of His children. In fact, Jesus Himself tells us that the Father loves EVERY child in His family as much as He loves His Son, Jesus. I won’t read it now but look at John 17:23 later for homework and you’ll find that inviolable assurance.

I repeat that last statement for emphasis: God’s love for you is the same length and depth and height and breadth as is His love for Jesus. My brothers and sisters in Christ, I hope the Scripture once and for all puts to rest the lie about God’s alleged favoritism.

And that brings us to another, yet related, question: Can we do anything that will make God love any of us less? To answer that question, let’s look again at God’s infallible words to us and first ask: What did you do to make Him love you in the first place?

The answer is – nothing. As God tells us through Paul’s pen: (Ephesians 2:1-2) “You were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.”

Please hear this: Before God called you to Himself, you were dead. D-E-D dead. And dead people can’t do anything to make someone else love them. Therefore, that means God loved you before He even drew you to Himself. God loved you as much as He does now, even when you were dead in your sins.  As the apostle wrote to the Christians at Rome: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

So, then, And again, (Galatians 3:3) “Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?”

So to answer that question, “Can we DO anything that will make God love any of us less – or more?” The answer is, of course, a resounding no. God loves you today as much as He has ever loved you. And the height and depth and breadth and length of His love for any and every one of His children through Christ will always be equal to His love for Jesus.

Period. End of story.

But despite that Biblical truth, some still argue, “Then why do such bad things happen to me while other Christians live such easy lives?”

Okay, fair question. My answer?  I don’t really know. I’ve asked the same question myself at times. But let’s turn again to God’s infallible words to us and see if we can’t draw some conclusions.

For example, listen to Romans 5:1-5 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I do not know why some Christians seem to float along gently flowing streams of life while others often struggle with loss and pain and heartache. But I do know this, based on the whole testimony of Scripture – God does not love any less the one who struggles than the one who floats nearly effortlessly. AND – and this is important – God uses all of our trials and failures and broken hearts and shattered dreams – He uses them all for our GOOD who have been called to His divine purposes.

Furthermore, and intricately coupled to that truth, we also need to be reminded of this divine and binding promise: Nothing will separate us from His love. Nothing – except, of course, ongoing willful sin.

Listen again to the Scriptures: Romans 8:35-39 “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

And I say it again for emphasis – this promise is not for only some, or even for most, of God’s children. This promise applies to 100% of those who have entered God’s family through repentance and obedient faith in Christ Jesus.

I hope that now we are all on the same proverbial sheet of music, that being, God does not play favorites with any of His children, and that He equally loves each of us as much as He loves His Son, Jesus.

I also hope that we all believe that there is NOTHING we can do to make God love us less than He does, or more than He does right now. And finally, although we will never fully understand why some Christians seem to float through life on gentle streams while others move from one tumultuous series of rapids to another – the truth is that God uses every circumstance in our lives for our ultimate good.

The 23rd psalm is not a promise only for a few of God’s children. The promise of the psalm applies equally to 100% of His children: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Now then, as I begin to bring this message to a close, let’s change our focus 180° and ask a pointed question most Christians rarely ask themselves. Instead of wondering how much God loves me and you, let’s turn it around and ask ourselves how much do we love God? Instead of asking, ‘Does God love me less He loves others, let’s ask ourselves, “Do I love God less than I love myself?” Do I love God less than I love my comfort, or my family, or my friends, or my finances, or my entertainment, or living life ‘your way,’  . . . or whatever.

Said another way, “Do I love anyone or anything more than I love God?

That’s a question worthy of long and careful consideration. And that question raises another yet question: What is the test of my degree of love for God?

The answer to that question is easy when we look into the Scriptures, all of which serve as a mirror of our hearts. As the Holy Spirit tells us: (Hebrews 4:12-13) “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.”

What is the test of my degree of love for God? Listen to Jesus: “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15) And again, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon” – or anything else, for that matter. (Matthew 6:24)

In other words, to the degree that I obey God is the degree to which I love Him. Now, let me pause to make an important point: Scripture repeatedly tells us, for example, (Romans 3:23) “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God;” And (1 John 1:8) “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.” 

That’s why God’s gift of forgiveness to the penitent is so incredibly wondrous. But his willingness to forgive our sins does not nullify our responsibility to demonstrate our love for God by making the correct choice between two masters – ourselves or God. It does not abrogate our responsibility to demonstrate our love for God by doing His will instead of our own.

So, please, my brothers and sisters, for the sake of your spiritual health and maturity in Christ, let’s stop entertaining the question of whether God loves you as much as He loves someone else. Let’s stop acting like my Pomeranian who seems to think I love our Bichon more than I love him. From Genesis through Revelation, God has answered the question of His equally measureless love for all His children, regardless of and despite their individual life circumstances. God has revealed to us through His infallible words that He loves equally all who name the name of Jesus as their Lord.

Let’s leave off with such questions which all have their yes and amen in Christ. Instead, let’s ask ourselves – often ask ourselves – the more relevant question: Do I love God less than I love something or someone else? And if the answer is not what it should be – then ask what must be done about that.

Repent, of course. And ask God to change our hearts toward more confidence in His promises and to be more consistently obedient to His will.