You Did it to Me

I went to Mass on Saturday evening and now, on Sunday morning, I sit on an airplane going to a business convention in Las Vegas.  I am leaving on a Sunday morning because I have a meeting in the afternoon.  I go to this same trade show every year, and so every year I pack myself up, leave my family, and spend almost a week in a city that represents the “what’s in it for me”, my fun, my pleasure, and anything goes mentality.  On this particular day, my flight takes me through Chicago O’Hare airport where I have to change planes.  I have gotten on my new plane, found my aisle seat, and sat down.  I notice that the two seats next to me are currently empty.  It’s not long however, until where those two empty seats used to be, there now sit two 20-something young guys.  Both of them drunk.  They are talking non-stop and bragging to each other about how they have been drinking since Friday.  They rehash each event they have been through with laughter, fist bumps and bravado.  It seems that they have decided, spur of the moment and in their current state, to buy two airline tickets and fly to Las Vegas.  They have no bags, no clothes, have not told anyone else and will have to call off work on Monday.  Once he has settled into his seat a little, the guy next to me pulls out his phone and calls his girlfriend as he eats his Chicago-style hot dog.  You know the kind, loaded with pickles, tomatoes, onions, relish, and mustard, basically a hot dog with everything.  I was convinced that this hot dog, or some part of it, was going to be on my lap any minute and was already thinking through my most appropriate response.  Anyway, once he was settled, he called her to tell her that he was going to Las Vegas.  Based on the conversation I, along with several other passengers, was able to overhear, she then proceeds to break up with him.  This spoiled or damaged relationship then becomes the topic of many drunken comments over the next few hours.

I say a prayer for these young guys and ask for God’s guidance but proceed to put my headphones on, pull out my iPad and escape into a video.  I decide to watch Bishop Robert Barron’s “Catholicism” series.  At the end of one video, there is a section dedicated to St Teresa of Calcutta.  The focus of this section is her love of, and way of remembering, five words spoken by Jesus in scripture.  These five words formed the central theme of her life of ministry.  She would raise her hand and lift one finger at a time, one for each of the five words…"you did it to me".

Because of the young men sitting next to me and then watching this video.  I start to think about this, I mean really think about it.  Five words, “you did it to me.”  I did what?  And to whom?  I think if I asked St Teresa these questions, she would look at me and say "exactly".  She would want me to consider whether or not I am aware of what I do and say?  Do I know that we, as human beings, are always interacting with one another?  And so, what am I doing in each and every one of these encounters?

By thinking in these terms, I am awakened to the reality that in many, if not most ways, our lives are about relationships.  Short and shallow fleeting ones, deep, lasting ones, and those in between.  They are the intersections and “bumping-in-to’s” of our lives.  “No Man is an Island”, the title of a book by Thomas Merton, seems to capture this thought. My daily life and existence is not just about me, it’s about us, meaning that it is defined (and my sanctity realized) through the wandering journey of interactions I have with other people throughout my day.

I start to realize that this idea of it being about “us” is consistently and clearly put before us by our God and Church.  For example, the Trinity, one God, but three persons fully joined together as one through perfect love.  A mystery that we cannot fully explain.  And wouldn’t we say that sometimes the deep ways that we love, especially our spouses, children and families is also a little mysterious.  I know that I cannot describe or explain it fully to another person.  But those relationships, built on love, become fully about “us” and the trinity shouts it.

We can also consider the Eucharist.  When I receive the Eucharist, I am receiving fully, the body and blood of Christ.  In a very real and powerful way, Jesus is becoming a part of me and I am being joined to Him.  It’s another moment of “us”, Jesus and I.  At the same time however, through our communal reception of the Blessed Sacrament, I am being joined to you, my bothers and sisters, as members of the body of Christ.  As we are all united at this time, we are joined, through Christ, to those who have come before us in faith through the communion of saints.  The Eucharist, the body of Christ, the communion of saints, it’s about “us”.

Finally, tell me which of the ten commandments does not give us direction and guidance regarding some interpersonal relationship, whether with God, our parents, our spouses or our neighbors.  It’s about how we interact and live together.

True joy and peace, our individual purpose, is found in “us”, not in “me”.  I remember traveling to San Antonio, Texas once for business.  I was alone and walked down to see the Alamo.  As I stood there, alone, I realized clearly that for me, the true “enjoyment” of seeing new things or tasting new foods or experiencing something for the first time is ALWAYS most complete when I do it with someone else.  Especially with someone I love like my wife or my children.  As I looked at the Alamo, I had no one close to me there with whom I could share the experience and so it was not fully satisfying.

If a I am honest with myself, I have to ask, “how often do I live consciously in this way?”. Being aware of the human interactions I have every day.  What do I do to the cashier at the grocery store? Do I speak to him or her in a way that lifts them up? How about all of those that I work with? Do I respect them and want the best for them?  Whatever I do, especially to the poor and marginalized, but really to everyone, I am doing to Jesus. Is light brought into their mind and heart? Am I nailing them to the cross or am I wiping their brow with a cool clothe? Whatever I do, I am doing it to Jesus.

These two young guys sitting next to me, going to Las Vegas.  Will they really be satisfied?  Are they really joyful and at peace with their lives?  I take off my headphones and I sit there and pray to God that if He desires, to create an opening where maybe I can talk to them.  I am not sure what I would say, but I ask God to put the right words there if the moment arises.  Somewhat sadly, the moment never comes, they talk to one another and fall asleep.  I do not have the opportunity to bring salt and light into their lives.  But, upon reflection, in a surprising way, a way that only God can make happen, they brought greater light into mine.