Lent Prep: Detailing Your Soul

Standing in line during a Parish reconciliation event last Easter, I noticed that the lane across the way was moving much faster (I think we had 6 lanes going) - and so I had many irreverent thoughts - Perhaps that was the express lane, 15 venial sins or less. That led me to wondering if there were a self-serve checkout - oh yeah, I thought, that's down the street at the Baptist church.

Then, after I got done wondering if I was in the heavy sinner lane, or if maybe I had the new confessor that didn't quite know all the codes, I settled into thinking about my own personal sinning and began an examination of conscience. As I examined the contents of my basket, a different analogy began to enter my mind. I didn't make this up, I heard it on the radio - but I spent a lot of time thinking about it instead of my actual sins. But, it all turned out to be relevant anyway. That Holy Spirit - he just keeps sneaking in...

So, imagine for a moment that your car is your soul. We all know people whose cars are always messy and others whose cars are always spotless. Since everyone rides around in their cars, and some are clean and some are dirty, it made me wonder. Those people with the always-clean-cars; do theirs never get dirty? Or are they constantly cleaning their car? I determined that it was impossible for your car to not get dirty - just daily living drags crud into your car, even if you are very careful.

So, I reasoned, some people are comfortable in their cluttered cars, and some people are neurotic. (You may now have some insight into the condition of my car...) I glanced over at the express lane, and counted, figuring out that if I had been in that lane, I would be next in line. Then I looked at the 17 people in front of me and inadvertently sighed out loud. (Shoot. Maybe someone will take that as a moment of piety instead of exasperation, I thought.) And so, after a moment I started thinking again. Some people must just be in the habit of keeping their car clean.

After pushing an image of girls in bikinis washing cars out of my head (you are in church standing in line to go to confession, and you just feel a need to add another sin to the basket? I asked myself. What is this an impulse purchase, like gum or The Enquirer at the checkout?) I started thinking more about this car cleaning thing, and how it relates to my soul.

I started thinking about exterior and interior - wondering if there was more analogical gold to be mined from this concept.

We have our exterior lives and our interior lives. It is possible to have a really clean exterior and a dirty interior. However, I noticed that most people that kept the outsides clean seemed to keep the insides clean. I do not know if there is a cause and effect thing going on there. I'm just reporting what I've noticed.

These folks obviously care about how they are perceived. But that began to smack of pride in my head, and I decided that while there was probably something of value in exploring the exterior cleaning, perhaps the interior was the place to think about.

After all, isn't the interior where the action is? I mean with God. Somehow my own internal BS indicator seemed ready to throw a flag on that one as well. So, as I moved one step closer to the Priest, and calculating that I had a good 20 minutes worth of standing around time, I decided to really explore the interior and see why I was uncomfortable with simply going with "the interior matters, but the exterior doesn't."

I thought about the simple stuff, wiping the dust down, gathering up the obvious clutter, even vacuuming. And I remembered the last time I did that to my own car. It had been a while, and it was something of a project to just get the clutter out. Once I had the clutter out, then I really noticed how dusty the dashboard was. Then I thought, "Look at those floorboards!" So, I vacuumed them. I looked at the floor mats, wondering if I should shampoo them, then decided it was too much work.

The rest of that week I never left anything in my car. If I had McDonald's on the way to work, I carried the Mickey D's refuse into work with me and threw it away. When I got in my car, I had a sense of relaxation - because it was clean. I was not ashamed of how it looked, and I didn't care if someone wanted me to drive to lunch at work. It felt pretty good.

Then one day my hands were full with something, and I just left the fast food garbage in my car. In the front seat. At the end of the day, when I got in, there it was staring at me. So I put it in the back floorboard. Ahhh, peace. Couple of days later another bag and cup joined in the party on the back floorboard. I thought about cleaning it out when I got home, but it had been a long drive - I looked at the junk, told myself I would get it tomorrow and went in the house. Of course, tomorrow never came. I also quit worrying about taking junk out of my car. I just piled it up in the back. Out of sight, out of mind.

Two months later I had a car that was full of crap, and I was just ignoring it. I was actually pretending that I was comfortable with the situation. Interesting.

Finally I cleaned it again. This time I went ahead and hosed off the floor mats too! I kept the car cleaner longer that time. And started paying more attention to the exterior, something I really hadn't cared much about. Then one day as I was driving to work, I opted to not pick up the junk food breakfast, because I just didn't want to have to worry about cleaning out the car later. Interesting, no?

One day at a stoplight I noticed gunk in the crevices of the dash - I had never seen it before. I looked around and it hit me that my car really wasn't all that clean. It wasn't cluttered, but it wasn't clean.

So, yeah, with toothpicks to get in the crevices, I cleaned my car. I mean cleaned it. Now, I'd like to say my car has been spotless ever since. But it hasn't. However, in general, it maintains a certain level of cleanliness. So, when I do go to clean it, it doesn't take hours to get it right. Well, not usually. (We won't talk about the trunk right now...)

I kind of put it all together all at once. Not going to McDonald's on my way to work was what they call "avoiding the near occasion of sin". I chuckled inwardly at all the different ways that could apply. (I am easily amused.) Still, not putting my stuff in my car to begin with meant not having to take it out later. It began to seem neurotic to leave stuff in the car, not take it out. Hmmmm. Going to frequent confession meant less garbage to take out between times. Having a clean car and noticing the dirt you never noticed meant detailing your soul.

For a period of time, since I work in Irving, I went to confession once a week at Mater Dei Catholic Church. They have reconciliation before and after each Mass, and have noon Masses Tue - Fri. So, it was easy. Now I go once a month, sometimes once every two weeks. Once I went twice in one week because I crapped up my car pretty bad in between. But, when I got back into my car, it sure felt good.

I can highly recommend detailing your soul. Yes, you will have to do it continuously because daily living just drags crud into your soul.

ps - I never did come to a resolution regarding my conflicting thoughts on exterior vs interior cleaning. I still feel like there is something to be gained from further consideration. Maybe next time I am in the heavy sinner lane I'll have time to think about it.