Reflections of a First Year Deacon's Wife

A year ago, I wondered what this first year as a deacon’s wife would bring. I knew it would bring changes to our lives. I knew we would both be called to do more in our parish and participate more fully. I knew we would be busy. I knew we would be more helpful to our current parish in many ways. What I didn’t know is that God had a new plan for our lives. The first year following my husband’s ordination was not at all what either of us expected – but isn’t that how God usually works?

We literally have had God directing our lives for these past several years - since we came into the Catholic Church. My husband studied for four years in the diocese program for Lay Ministers (which happened to be the same coursework that the deacon formation candidates study). God was also working within me – sparking my life-long love for learning and pushing me down the road to a Bachelor's degree. I had been working at a local state university for nearly 30 years and had never felt compelled to get a degree – why now?

We are studying away - at the beginning of Ken’s 4th year, he says to me "I feel called to be a deacon. I am going to talk to [the Director]." He did and the next year he was accepted into formation. An additional year of discernment followed and then his final year of instruction with our local parish priest and deacon. For me, with the love and support of my husband, family, friends, community and especially an amazing God – I received my B.S. in Health Informatics from Western Governors University – Washington in the spring of 2016. Ken was ordained as a permanent deacon that same year, in the fall.

I completed an internship at a local hospital and within those few short weeks, I fell in love with the healthcare environment. I had no plans to change careers after obtaining my B.S. but God had other plans! God built a fire in me – I wanted to work in my field….at the tender age of 57 no less!

After much prayer, conversations and discernment, I accepted the first job offered in healthcare. It was truly my dream job – and the salary was within our range to cover living expenses. Fast forward a few months – my sweet husband was ordained as a permanent Deacon. We continued to live in different towns for a few more months – seeing each other only on weekends. Our marriage was a top priority for us and we eventually came to the conclusion that we needed to live in the same zip code, so we bought a house in our new hometown and we moved in it together! Such an exciting time.

Once we settled in, Ken began talking to the two local Catholic parishes. Almost immediately, he was granted faculties and assigned to the Parish of the Holy Spirit. They had two deacons; however, one was not able to perform his deacon duties and the other had just been put on hospice, and passed just days later. The parish community was grieving for their loss; however, they were also deeply concerned that their 80+ year old priest would not be able to continue unassisted. They had prayed a great deal for God’s intervention. My dear deacon husband was heralded as “the answer to our prayers.” The welcome from this parish was nothing short of astonishing and we were instantly engulfed in friendship, fellowship, and love.

Deacon Ken has picked up many duties since beginning at our new parish, including teaching Baptism classes, altar server training, and being on the RCIA team. He is on the altar with Father for all weekend Masses – arriving an hour before Mass, staying to lock up after Mass, making sure all is ready for each Mass, training acolytes to help on the altar, and so much more. He takes communion to the home-bound, is involved in the parish council, and whatever else is needed at any time of the day. He preaches once a month – which he loves – and the parish loves his true and basic messages. He loves the people of this parish family and they love him (well, us). He is busy most weekdays and all weekend, but enjoys every second of every day – serving God. To say we are busy is a vast understatement. To say we are happy, together, and doing God's work does not begin to express how wonderful our life is.

God’s will was to put us in a certain (different) city, near a certain date, and Ken would walk through a parish's doors at just the right time. The moral to this tale of the first year as a deacon’s wife is: you are along for the ride. Once you consent to your husband becoming a deacon, the rest is in God’s hands. Let it go.

We asked God to put us where we were needed – and He certainly did not disappoint! Happy first anniversary, Ken - I love you.