Bundles are aggregates of actions that make for a synergistic effect and drive change faster. In public health, an infection prevention bundle for central lines would be handwashing, cart readiness, no placement of femoral lines, daily checks and chlorhexidine scrubs. In theology, per Mother Mary's bundle from Medjugorje, she cites the five stones that makes for a Christian renewal (as it had led to mine): daily rosary, daily Mass, daily Scripture, monthly confession and biweekly fast. Somehow, the bundling serves for one good action to boost the doing of another good action and so on, all of which have evidence-based benefits.
So to look at marital bliss and divorce-proofness, we need look no further than the Survey of Marital Generosity's five most crucial traits which most impact both domains in creating happy and strong (divorce-proof) marriages. Where the authors refer to "above-average" I would hope this gets quantified by those seeking to apply it in terms of time, degree and preference. Once again, we want our marriage to be happy and we want our marriages strong.
1. Above-average sexual satisfaction
2. Above-average commitment
The first two count as the major factors in yielding both a happy marriage and a divorce-proof one. I mean, if one gets the intimacy which marriage is designed for AND rests in the trust and faithfulness of the spouse, one inevitably would be satisfied and would not wander elsewhere.
This has great implication for those who think of living apart or traveling at length away from the spouse and having lukewarmness instead of solid fixation to be faithful. Above-average means more than half, so think about it before emotional and geographic distance makes these two most crucial domains impossible to do and be frayed by temptation.
3. Above-average generosity to spouse
4. Above-average attitude toward raising children
These two domains make for a happy marriage as reported by both the husbands and the wives. The regular exchange of affection, the big and small sacrifices, the kindnesses and the overlooking of faults make for a peaceful, restful and pleasant solace by the spouse that they keep getting nourished and delighted by. That the spouse loves the children and is seeking their welfare brings the children to even multiply the love in the family and bring the spouses closer and more family-positive. A happy family is an early heaven indeed. This marks the top commandments: that it is important to love others and of course (see below) love God.
5. Above-average shared marital spirituality/report God is the center of their marriage
This one trait plus first two (sex and commitment) are your trifecta for preventing divorce and separation. If one prays together and acknowledges God at the center of the marriage, the couple would know Whom to reach out in times of trouble and Whom to credit in times of plenty. It is true what Blessed Fulton Sheen had said that it takes three to get married. One cannot live by bread alone, so Divine Intervention is necessary for rock-solid marriages that would weather trials.
Frequent sex, great commitment, affection to spouse and to the kids and God-centeredness. There it is: the top marital ingredients.
Additional to the above five, social support and strong spirituality counts for a happy and divorce-proof wife, while weekly or more prayer services and above-average generosity to wife counts for a divorce-proof husband.
Correct those deficits where you can and create regular actions in the top five domains. Happy marital life giving!
