Capable of More

Dear Savior of the world,

I think I’m beginning to loathe the weakness of humanity. Especially in men, right now.

Tell me I am wrong when I think that men run more often than women do. Do men run at a show of affection, unlike women? Or is it just with me? What are they so afraid of, anyway? A part of me knows that I am wrong. A part of me that isn’t overshadowed by pain.

Someone did it so abruptly to me, today. It just baffles me.

Yet, of course, there You were. I prayed for You and You came to me. You gave me something, again, through him:

The realization/discovery that I am more capable than I realize. Though he had left me, essentially, to my own devices,

everything went smoother than I had expected.

Although men, women, and just all of humanity may fail us, make mistakes, forsake us to go off and nurse their own wounds, Your providence has not only made it so that we are taken care of, exteriorly, but it has also given us the skills necessary to overcome those challenges, interiorly.

Often, through unexpected ways.

You have loved me time and time again through this person who has unknowingly hurt me. Someone who turned away from You a long time ago, but in whom I still see some goodness. Though it is small, because he has left You. And therefore himself.

Afterall, how can anyone love when they have turned away from the true source of it?

But that’s another topic/discussion of its own.

In my own little experience, there have been great forces at work to keep me from writing and having it seen. Sometimes, they come in the disguise of a distraction. Sometimes, a great feeling of insignificance. It’s as if they know how much I love to write and they have done everything in their power to keep me from it.

Why?

How could little ‘ole me be so important?

Because the truth is..

   we are all capable of more than we realize.

Mother Angelica once said,

“I’m not afraid to fail, .. I’m scared to death of dying and having the Lord say to me,

‘Angelica, this is what you might have done had you trusted more.’”

If only we had trusted more.

Then, maybe wouldn’t have run from each other.

And, because everything we have done to one another we have done to Him,

we wouldn’t have run from God.