Sex is worth more

As a college student, I gradually became used to hearing that most people think of sex as something you do on a third date. I’ve even seen condoms given out as if they were candy by some student associations. It isn’t news to anyone that university campus culture promotes the thinking of sex as something exploratory and recreational; however, I noticed this view of sex changes when the topic at hand is nonconsensual sex: rape.

In campaigns against sexual abuse and in conversations about the topic, rape is represented as a terrible, deplorable offense because one person in the situation did not give consent. What confuses me is that so much of this rhetoric comes from the people who propagate the idea that sex is something casual, carefree, and empty of deep significance. I can’t think of any other act that can be trivial when consensual and an unforgivable offense when not consensual. Other acts, such stealing or harassing, are wrong because of the lack of consent; however, none of them carry the gravity that rape does. It does not add up to say that sex is something recreational and exploratory made to be enjoyed whenever and that rape, the instance when said “recreational and exploratory” act is forced, is a graver offense than most other nonconsensual acts. 

The absence of consent is unquestionably what makes rape an offense; however, the gravity of the offense is determined by the value of the thing that has been injured or taken. If the absence of consent in and of itself dictated the gravity of an offense, many other acts would be deserving of the same punishment that rape receives. Let’s suppose that there’s a pair of close friends laughing about a joke one of them told. In his enthusiasm, the other friend decides to slap his friend on the back. The friend who was slapped on the back doesn’t take it well. In actuality, it isn’t okay to initiate that type of contact without some kind of mutual consent and understanding, but supposing it doesn’t it doesn’t escalate any further, it isn’t a very grave act, even when it is lacking the consent of one person. This is because the act of slapping someone on the back is a casual gesture. Under this same principal, not all acts that lack consent are punished equally. Assault, for example, is something that happens without the consent of one person, but assault is rarely punished as severely as rape is. Someone found guilty of assault will be punished with time in jail, but this punishment will almost never compare to the one someone found guilty of rape would receive. There is a lack of consent both in cases of assault and of rape, but these offenses are not treated equally. This is because the thing being taken by force in rape (sex) is charged with more significance and value than what is at stake in a case of assault (general physical security).

The sexual act itself is powerful in nature, and so are the physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences it brings. Sex leaves two people completely vulnerable in front of one another. When sex is shared, in a context of love, commitment, and trust, it can deepen an already existing connection between two people. If sex is transplanted to the context of rape, it only implants fear and distrust where there should be commitment and pure love. Sex is something serious that carries with it a great deal of power and significance when there is no consent and when there is.

I think the majority of people, including those that insist that sex is casual and empty of profound significance, recognize that rape is terrible and deplorable. The people that condemn rape do so with the subconscious understanding that sex has a great deal of significance, which is what makes rape so terrible. It takes the act that has the power to form an unmatched connection and intimacy between the people that share it and deforms it into something violent and degrading.

As much as our culture, especially that of college campuses, wants to treat sex as something as casual as a handshake, I believe that at some level we all understand that it is so much more than that. Sex is an act unlike any other and has the power to form a bond of love and trust and to create new life. We punish rape so severely not solely for lack of consent, but because, even if only subconsciously, we recognize what our minds and hearts whisper to us: that sex is not just a recreational act or a casual gesture, but rather something that should be treated with more respect in all contexts because in actuality it is worth more.