Leadership Series

Leadership&Mdash;Panacea For Christian Moral Living

PREAMBLE: Leadership is a mandate given to man by the Almighty right after creation; ‘’I am putting you in charge of the animal and other created things’’(Gen1:28) and ‘’you are to cultivate the beautiful garden and guard it’’(Gen 2:15 GNB). He has all the resources to name other created things as he did all the animals in Gen 2:18-19, to tend and cultivate the garden so that it can continuously yield beautiful fruits for food and leaves for medicine. And in doing all of that, he is meant to be subject to his Creator, by trusting Him enough to obey Him without question and glorify Him in all things. This is the crux of the matter and the bedrock of all the moral ills of the societies and the Church, in particular.

For many of us, we want to be God’s people, but to serve in our own terms. And so it behoves on the Church, in its service as the light to the society, to see how it can use the same leadership resources in man to stem the tide of decadence in morals that has bedeviled even the Christians who should light up the way.

Firstly, we define the key words thus: Leadership: To lead is to direct all resources, human and material towards a specified goal.

Panacea: Solution

Christian Moral Living: The principle of right and wrong in the context of Christian teaching. Moral living has taken a back stage in the present generation at the expense of moral relativism, sexuality misuse and abuse, unbridled freedom and complete disregard for our cultural ethos. Integrity, respect for age and godliness are downgraded in exchange for materialism, sycophancy and quest for fame, power and self idolization respectively. Holiness and chastity have become outdated words even in churches, most of which have caught the bug of excessive chase of materiality even when it means condoning exhibitionism, idolizing the wealthy and total disregard for the precepts of our Lord.

Old paradigms are being questioned, and the young and vibrant generations of youth have become highly experimental with sexuality, moral values and all things sacred. To endorse these deviant behaviours, core traditional institutions like the Church have also become victims of radical re-interpretations of what is holy, and families and schools have little choice than to dance to the tune of the new popular song.

To this debate therefore, the overriding question is: who sets the standard for the world to follow? How far can we go in appropriating 21st century dynamics to the demands of the Christian faith, as enunciated in the Bible? How can we change the world when an agenda for development and civilization is fixed through multimedia projects dictated by commercialism? How can we, for example, control pornography when the so-called world icons are pornographic? How can virtue be extolled, when even awards (which should serve as appreciative and motivational tool) are for sale in many climes?

To lead is to give direction, to mentor and to sustain an effort towards the goal in focus and this means invariably, that the leader must first and foremost know himself and be open about his humanness, be knowledgeable about the road through which he wants to lead others, and be capable about the job at hand. These three factors are the bane behind effective and non–effective leadership. I said that a leader must first know himself, otherwise you will later lament like the woman in the Song of songs who cried,’’.. they made me take care of the vineyard, but my own vineyards have I not kept. (Sgs 1:6).

Every leader or aspiring one—whether lay,, religious or clergy- should understand the human nature of which he is part of, know the basic values of self esteem, integrity, sensitivity and reverence for the Creator, all of which add up to make us truly human. For starters, every leader or potential leader must acquire the skill of humility, which acknowledges that he is imperfect as a being and so must be open to constructive criticisms and be willing to improve self. Secondly, he will have to key into the fact that we are a pack of emotions that must be skilled if we want to manage self and others effectively. We must be Emotionally Intelligent to be effective leaders. Thirdly, he must be knowledgeable about the goal and vision of the group he is leading others towards, which in the Christian context, is to evangelize.

Evangelization is the overriding principle of the Church and all activities, even games, conferences, vocations, jobs, community and family lives, must conform with this principle if we are serious about tending the vineyard of the Lord. With that, moral virtues and love will be a natural consequence, instead of a set of demanding laws and restrictions. Understanding self, managing self, reading moods and managing relationships and being socially aware all fall under the ambit of Emotional Intelligence and it will be apt, at this point, to mention the rudiments of building that skill.

Leadership and Emotions: Human beings are a pack of emotions having been created in the image and likeness of an emotional God. For this reason, Emotions drive people and people drive performance. And since leadership is about exerting influence, nurturing relationship and willing collaboration between the leader and the led, a competent leader must be intelligent enough to harness emotions (positive or negative) to achieve intended goals. There is need to connect on an emotional level because emotions create energy that cause us to be motivated. We will continue this discuss in the next publication but, in the meantime, let us all as humans created to take dominion over every other created thing, subdue our ego, go within ourselves in introspection and appraise our character: temperament and quality of impulse control, decision skills, perceptions about key life issues like sexuality, chastity, integrity and the truth of the Gospel. Welcome On Board!!

PART II LEADERSHIP AND EMOTIONS

Previously, we stated that we all have to school our emotions because we are a pack of emotions that need to connect with others at the emotional level to be able to lead them towards any goal, spiritual growth inclusive.

‘’What is emotion?’’ You may ask. Emotion - is any agitation or disturbance of mind, feeling, passion or excited mental state. Intelligence, simply is the quickness of knowing or understanding. Putting these two together: Emotional Intelligence can be defined as the pace and capacity to understand and manage any agitation, feeling, passion or mental excited state in oneself and others. Emotional Intelligence, or being able to deal with one’s or other people’s emotions, has always been with man from creation and will always be there for all times, because man is an emotional person created by an emotional God who has graciously made us partakers of His nature. Right after creation, the Almighty noted that Adam was not happy and could not be made happy even with all the beauties of the Eden garden, as we read in the Holy Bible, until another of his kind, whom he could have a heart to heart connection, was made (Gen2:23). And that partner of his, played on his emotion and strength of character to persuade him to disobey God.

From then on, til today, we have all been exhibiting our emotional traits to varying degrees; Cain allowed himself to be dominated with jealousy - a negative emotion- and he killed his brother Abel; Moses was so emotionally attached to God that he asked the Almighty to show him the dazzling light of His presence and the most loving Father showed what was safe for Moses to behold and still live, His back side (Exod 33:18-23); that same Moses was denied the priviledge of entering into the promised land with the Israelites because he let his anger get the better of him, and he struck the rock twice with the stick instead of speaking to the rock to bring out water for the people to drink at Meribah (Num 20:7-13). Impulse control would have made him finish his job of exodus well, just as it would have prevented many destructions that have been carried out in a fit of anger. Traumatised children sometimes grow up with locked in or repressed anger or depression and then grow up as aggressive individuals, who may be difficult to live or work with—all because of unskilled emotional handling.

What about the role of emotions in big issues like chastity and assassinations? I will like to relay here the story I put in my book; My Sweetheart, My Bride- Spirituality and Sexuality about the effect of emotions and escaping to the convent until the crack was created in the wall: Cecilia broke her vow of chastity as a nun because she did not deal with some past traumas in her life before embarking on her decision to live a religious life. She was orphaned at a very young age of about five years and had to be brought up by an auntie who herself, was married to a man who did not want to be saddled with the responsibility of bringing up any child that is not his. She was therefore subjected to a loveless life of servitude rather than warmth and affection. Cecilia endured this treatment throughout her young age and hated marriage in the process. Again she decided to internalize her hurt and isolate herself from any emotional involvement with anyone. She didn’t believe that true unconditional love existed and she was not ready to trust any one with her heart. To firm up this conviction, she therefore opted for a religious life in the convent, where she hoped to live without any abuse or emotional betrayal.

She escaped into the convent. Trouble started for her when she was assigned to a hospital to help some accident victims who were brought there by other road users, who met them lying in their pool of blood. She literarily threw herself into doing this job and performed it so well that one of the male patients became emotionally attracted to her and subtly started displaying it to her. The warning in her head said, ‘back off’ but her sense of duty told her to get on with her job. Again, remember that there is still a gaping hole in her heart longing (even if only unconsciously) to be filled, and that hunger may have influenced her decision to stay attached to that man. And so in the course of getting on with the job, her wall of insulation was broken, and the love she never knew was there and came tumbling out. This new discovery so thrilled her, that she decided to hide the feelings from her mates and revel in the feeling. She nourished this relationship to such an extent that when the man was discharged, they still kept in touch with each other. Eventually, the lady left the convent and got married to the man. How on earth can this Reverend sister play good leadership role in the Church when she has an unresolved emotional problems tagging along her life? The cause of breaking her vow of chastity as a religious celibate is not loose morals or inconsistency in character, but non-resolution of past hurts before embarking on a grave decision like living a celibate life.

Decisions like marriage, celibacy or chastity must be made with all the faculties intact. Upbringing must be explored and life experiences must be shared so that the person can be healed and be truly free to make lasting decisions. She can be a better leader wherever she is now with her family because she can better counsel people and even lead to forgive past hurts and move on in life, than be fixated to be locked in depression, a condition that enslaves the victims. If we weigh this true life story with the quantum of brain manipulations that make young boys and girls to agree to be tied up with bombs which they will go and detonate in public places to kill themselves and others, and you will agree that schooling the emotions should take a center stage in all human endeavours, leadership included.

In the next part of this series, we will look at the significant factors in schooling our emotions beginning with working on ourselves. Emotional Intelligence (EI):- A set of abilities to motivate oneself, and persist in the face of frustration, to control impulse and delay gratification, to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think, to empathise and to hope (Daniel Goleman).