What's In a Fiat?

As a frequent listener to the EWTN radio program, Women of Grace, I hear the host, Johnnette Benkovic, use the word “fiat” quite often. Not fully comprehending its meaning, I was puzzled by the phrase. In my experience, Fiat has always evoked the image of a sporty little car we may see zipping around town. Apparently, spiritually speaking, it means so much more.

This word has been used most in regard to the Blessed Mother — Mary’s fiat to the Lord in which she said “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word,” (Luke 1:38). Her total and absolute “yes” enabled the reality of our salvation — the incarnation of Jesus, the Son of God. This is a huge statement! It implies that a “fiat” can have unimaginable impact affecting, not only our own lives, but the lives of countless others.

As I move forward day by day trying to live as a disciple of Christ Jesus, I wonder, would I be willing to give my own fiat to God? Would I be willing to surrender my life completely to the Father’s will for my life? Of course, I like to think that I would be ready, willing and able to do so. But, in my imperfection, the truth is, I’m not so sure. Yet, as I have come to learn, God meets us right where we are, in whatever moment He calls to us. So, in this spiritual journey I walk each day, there is always potential for growth. I am not the same person I was several years ago when I called out to the Lord to change the person I had become (see my story in “Transformed by Fire”). He has been transforming me ever since. As I look back, I can see that I did indeed say “yes” to small things all along the way. There would be no progress without my acquiescence.

Looking at the person I have become in this moment, I can clearly see that each “yes Lord,” has been in response to larger, more meaningful requests. The most recent decision to say “yes” came when I was called to go on Pilgrimage all the way in Europe. Now, this may not sound like a big deal to most of you. But, when you factor in the movement disorder with which I live that is exacerbated by anxiety, suddenly, it’s a whole different circumstance. Flying 7 to 9 hours onboard a plane, trying to remain as calm and still as possible, is no small thing. The only reason I was able to attempt this was because of the increased trust the Holy Spirit has instilled in me. With this being the case, peace becomes a part of me making it possible to say “yes” to anything He might ask. After all, He knows what I can handle.

I recently returned from this pilgrimage, which was, coincidently with the Women of Grace host herself, other personnel, and fellow listeners. We visited the Marian Shrines in Fatima and Lourdes, as well as, sites in Spain. At a stop for our daily Mass in the Church of St. Stephen in Santarem, Portugal, which houses the oldest recorded Eucharistic Miracle, I experienced a revelation that moved me not only to tears, but to all out sobbing. The Lord revealed to me that there is still an element of fear preventing me from completely surrendering to Him. My story, told in “Transformed by Fire”, provides the blueprint of my life laying out the circumstances that led to this deeply rooted fear and lack of trust. Following this emotional episode, it became clear to me that I had been called on this trip to receive the graces I need to, once and for all, let go of the apprehension unwittingly clinging in my sub-conscious.

The graces and mercy of Jesus, extended through the same Blessed Mother whose fiat was selflessly given 2000 years ago, were ultimately received during my visit to the baths in Lourdes. It’s hard to explain how I know this. Suffice to say that a few glances exchanged with the woman who greeted my entry to the bath spoke volumes to my soul. And, there is a peace within me that feels as though it’s growing day by day.

Will this bring an end to the movement disorder that has been part of my life for the past 7 years? I don’t know. But, I feel more confident that whatever is asked of me from above, every fiber of my being will be ready to respond “yes”. Through God’s goodness, my own “fiat” to Him can be as complete as Mary’s. I pray for each and every person reading this that you will also be ready, willing, and able to surrender your own fiat to the Almighty when He calls your name.

God Bless