It's Time to Let Go

I hold on. It’s who I am, I never give up and always believe something can be fixed if you are willing to put in the work. It is my greatest asset and greatest fault. This world gives up too easily; if something gets hard or uncomfortable we all have the option to move onto something “better”. We never realize that maybe we are called to go farther, to go for two miles instead of one. I hold on until I am forced to let go.

That is my weakness, and can be a weakness for all of us. For me I love people, and that’s not a bad thing. We are called to love others as God loves us, and I try to embody that every day. God never gives up, so why should I? But I am not God, and I do not know how to love like Him without Him. My response is usually to ask God what He would have me do, how do I love like you Lord? That is just asking for trouble.

More often than not the Lord tells me things that I don’t like to hear nor understand. And recently it has been to let go of someone that I have held onto for a very long time. I love them very much, and I don’t want to lose them. So I figured to fix it I just needed to give more and love more. That sounds right doesn’t it? Well when you realize you want them more than they want you; you push back. The problem was they had a lot of my pieces. They kept them, and I was left wondering where I went. How could I give so much and receive so little? How could this have gotten so far? The answer is rather simple, I did not love like God. I loved like I thought God loved.

Whenever I asked what He wanted from me; I cannot tell you how often the thought of letting go came up, but I didn’t want to listen. That couldn’t be the answer, I love them I know what to do without giving them up. Well when you reach your breaking point and realize you have no idea who you are anymore, that cuts to the core. When I forcibly separated myself, the pieces started coming back. I remembered how much I loved the Lord; to feel my heart beat for Him and only Him. That I love to journal and pray and live my life for me and for Him. To give my everything to the One who receives it fully and gives it back abundantly. He is the only One that can sustain me, and in Him all things realize what they are meant to be. It is time to let go.

Any love is realized in Christ, and He does not force it on us. We often turn away from Him it us that move back to Him. He is with us constantly and yet He waits patiently for us to continue our journey down His path. He knows who He is and refuses to change to accommodate us. He serves us, He is not in service to us. He is not at our beck and call to do as we desire. He serves us to serve the Father. If the love I feel for others is truly of Christ then I shouldn’t have to hold on so tightly. I will not give up when it gets hard, but no one should hold on for so long to lose themselves to another.

As children of God, we are meant to thrive. I was made to fly, and if that means letting go to do that then I will. It won’t be easy and it’s a decision we have to make every day. To not be complacent and realize that we can all live that life we dream of living. Maybe it doesn’t all happen at once or maybe it does. But I know when I imagine that life, I want it. I’m sure we all hear those thoughts that says we can’t or it’s a nice thought just not for you. St. Therese said she desired to be a great saint yet she felt she couldn’t live up to it. Instead of being discouraged she found consolation in the fact that God would not put a desire in her heart that would not be fulfilled. A true, pure, and holy desire will always be realized in time with the Lord.

The only thing that holds me back is I don’t know if those people I care about so much will be there. It scares me and pains me, and in a way they still have a hold on me. I have to have faith that God will take them on their journey because mine is way overdue. Maybe all of ours are way overdue. We were created to love and be loved. I’ve spent my life saying others are more important than me, but God sees me as important as everyone else. I’m scared, but that life where He’s there makes it all worth it. To have someone stop, look at me, and say “Look how brightly you shine. This is the you I have created. You have found my masterpiece. You are my masterpiece. Welcome home, stay with me for you are enough for me, and I can’t wait to be enough for you too.”

It’s time to let go maybe then we’ll finally fly into the arms of the One who loves us most. That’s the kind of life I want to live.