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Can it be done?
In 2006, it was hard for me to find any gown with sleeves. Everything was strapless.
When Kate Middleton married in 2011, her wedding gown sleeves showed the world that modesty is regal, elegant, and breathtakingly beautiful.
Yeah, that lasted about two years before bodice type gowns with sleeves became the theme.
Then Pronovias had their 2017 fashion show with sleeves and high necklines… but see through… everywhere.
Sisters, I have seen it all, and I’d perhaps rather not have seen so many fashion extremes.
Modesty is not an in-demand commodity in our culture.
The wedding fashion industry has pushed the envelope on the runway and it trickled down into the bridal shops.
So is there hope?
Of course.
For inspiration, the Book of Revelation seems to be the authority on the idea of a radiant Bride’s attire.
“For the wedding day of the Lam has come, his bride has made herself ready. She was allowed to wear a bright, clean linen garment. (The linen represents the righteous deeds of the holy ones.)” Revelation 19:7-8
So let’s go for righteous deeds gowns!
In our Diocese, parishes typically have a dress code which typically involves covering a Beautiful Bride’s shoulders and requesting a modest neckline. Now sheer styles sort of work around that idea.
So here are my 5 Modesty Tips for Wedding Gowns:
1. Boleros and Capes
You found the gown, but it won’t pass muster at church. Ok, no biggie. Honestly, cape-like trains are completely in style now. Cover the shoulders with a cape that attaches near your collar bone, or grab a bolero. Boleros never go out of style since Brides often take off the bolero for their formals. It is meant to be a modest compromise. Bridal tunics, boleros, and capes can easily be found online, sold in local shops, or made by a seamstress. Just be aware that if your neckline is too low, the seamstress is your solution.
2. Seamstress Solution
A good seamstress will listen to your requirements regarding modesty, and she will offer solutions that do not take away from the beauty or original design of the gown. The best options a seamstress can achieve include taking extra fabric from the train and using it to make modest sleeves. This same approach can be used to apply a panel to a low neckline. Often, if the gown has see-through openings, that can easily be changed with either a detachable panel, or by sewing in some lining. Sometimes a seamstress will suggest purchasing extra fabric, especially if your gown doesn’t have a train. The best part about alterations is that while it may add a bit to the cost, the job of the seamstress is to make the dress fit you - which includes your aim for modesty. Some brides simply have the seamstress make a bolero or modest overlay that snaps at the neck and covers the shoulders while also matching the gown. This typically doesn’t break the bank either.
3. Shop Smart
Prior to your appointment, let your consultant know you are looking for a modest gown. If they suggest they don’t carry many, skip the shop.
4. St. Anthony’s Bridal
As President of St. Anthony’s Bridal, I often see Catholic women, and women of varying other Christian denominations and religions who simply seek modesty and do not want to pay for it.
St. Anthony’s Bridal views every Beautiful Bride as exactly that: beautiful, radiant, and perfectly, wonderfully made by Our Father. Our prices make it possible for any Beautiful Bride to find the gown that makes her look beautiful without wondering whether she can afford it. Many of our gowns are already quite modest. If the gown isn’t what the Beautiful Bride needs, then we talk modesty and alterations. We have several seamstresses who offer an amazing low price deal for alterations, and they understand that many of our clients would like to achieve modesty through the gown’s design or through a church accessory option.
5. Search “modesty”
I just went to David’s Bridal homepage and in their search box, I typed “Modest” and received over 20 gowns, each one quite modest and certainly acceptable for church. There are many other search options out there that “modest” will turn up fashion-savvy results full of very elegant, very modest options.
I close with Revelation again, as I love the image of a Bride, as the Church is the Bride of Christ.
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. the former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” Revelation 21:1-2
Dear sisters, adorn for your husband… and for Christ, who is the third party in this beautiful and mysterious union of matrimony.
Melanie R. Cameron is a wife of 14 years and a mother to five children. Both lifelong Catholics, Mark and Melanie became engaged in 2006. She journaled through her experiences, and in 2009, published a wedding planning workbook with a Catholic twist. "Christ on Your Guest List" has helped hundreds of couples to plan the wedding reception together in order to grow in unity, monetary decision-making, and communication through all the planning details. Melanie's ministry is to bring Hope to Beautiful Brides and to call engaged couples to build strong young marriages through wedding day planning.
In 2012, Melanie began a prayerful home-based floral business, named after Our Lady, The Mystical Rose.
