Not My Responsibility

The hardest thing I have had to learn is that it is not my responsibility to hold all the pieces together, to keep people in my life, to make everything okay, to make everything work out, or make others feel better about their decisions. Yes, kindness is integral to humanity and relationships but so are choices. People get to make decisions, act as they see fit, see things their own way, and feel their own feelings. As do I. I can support, disagree, feel hurt, even angry. I can be a priority, someone who lingers in the periphery, an inconvenience, or not part of someone's life at all. This is their choice, made through word and deed (actions provide clarity). I can only choose a response, how to act with my own time, effort, and energy.

Jesus is the example of love par excellence. The ultimate gift of the Father. He goes out in the streets, meets people where they are at, and ministers to them. The integral thing here though is that they have a choice, stay and listen, choose to hear Him and have Him as part of their life or not. People get to walk away. It is that simple. It is not unchristian or unloving to let go.

Life is full of choices. Respecting the choices of others can be challenging, especially if they are hurtful and not what you had hoped for. Love respects the will and choices of another. Furthermore, attempting to hold together pieces that someone else does not even see or perhaps intentionally discarded is not only futile, it is madness. It robs you of both your peace and your time with the ones who show up, share your perspective on what is important, and are willing to put in as much time as you are to keep a relationship (of whatever kind: family, friend, professional, romantic) from fading into the abyss. Communication is two-way, send and receive. No one person can keep a relationship together; it defies the nature of the thing itself.

Thus, it is not my responsibility to hold all the pieces together. My responsibility is to walk in faith and to be the best version of me not only for myself but for all those who choose to be in my life and live out this journey with me.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13