This Lent, Help Kids “Give” Rather Than Just “Give Up” Something

“I desire mercy, not sacrifice,” Jesus tells the Pharisees in Matthew 9:13. Yet when Lent arrives each year, our conversations frequently almost exclusively focus on sacrifice: what we plan to “give up,” what we will go without, what discomfort we will endure for forty days.

Sacrifice certainly has its place in the spiritual life. But when it comes to children, Lent can become even more meaningful if we help them see that sacrifice is not an end in itself. Rather, it is meant to open the heart—to create space for mercy, generosity, and love of neighbor.

Instead of stopping with what children give up, we can help them take the next step: learning how to give.

The Usual Practice of Lent

Prayer, fasting, and almsgiving form the familiar tripod of Lenten observance. When children give up something they enjoy, such as candy, desserts, screen time, or favorite shows, they are choosing, in their own small way, to imitate Christ’s forty days of fasting in the desert. That choice can strengthen self-discipline, foster gratitude, and loosen attachment to comfort-giving foods, possessions, and experiences.

These are valuable lessons. But too often, a child’s Lenten sacrifice remains an inward, private effort: I gave up chocolate. I stopped watching TV. When Lent ends, the sacrifice ends too, without having borne much visible fruit.

What if we helped children see their sacrifices not merely as acts of self-denial, but as invitations to love more actively?

How “Giving” Can Grow From “Giving Up”

While sacrifice and prayer often take center stage, almsgiving—the outward expression of love—can quietly fade into the background. Adults may naturally associate almsgiving with financial donations to charities or parish appeals. Children, understandably, have limited access to money.

What they do have, however, are open hearts, abundant energy, and a growing capacity for empathy.

By intentionally linking a child’s “giving up” with a corresponding act of “giving,” we help them experience Lent as something outward-facing and relational. Their sacrifice becomes not just something endured, but something offered—for the good of others.

Introducing the Works of Mercy

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that “The works of mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in his spiritual and bodily necessities” (CCC 2447). Lent provides a natural, age-appropriate opportunity to introduce children to these works—not as abstract ideals, but as concrete expressions of love.

When framed this way, acts of mercy arise organically from sacrifice. What children give up can become a lens through which they notice the needs of others.

Make a Simple Plan

Now that Lent is here, take time to sit down with the children in your life and talk together about two questions: What are you giving up? and How will that sacrifice help you give to someone else?

For example, a child who gives up candy, pizza, or sugary drinks may begin to think about those who experience hunger not by choice. That reflection can lead naturally to action. On a grocery run, invite children to help select items for a local food pantry. Allow them to place the donation in the collection bin themselves, reinforcing the connection between sacrifice and mercy.

If your family is able, volunteering at a soup kitchen or parish outreach can be a powerful experience. Many programs welcome children to help make sandwiches, pack meals, clean tables, or sweep floors—simple tasks that enable them to serve with dignity and joy.

Children who give up screen time—phones, television, movies, or video games—often discover they have more time than expected. That time can become a gift. They might shovel a neighbor’s sidewalk, rake leaves, or help an elderly parishioner with small chores. Visiting a retirement or nursing facility to chat, read aloud, play music, or take a short walk can be especially meaningful, both for children and for those who may feel forgotten.

Practicing the Spiritual Works of Mercy

Lent is also a privileged time to introduce children to the spiritual works of mercy, which can be woven naturally into their newly freed schedules. Attending an extra weekday Mass, spending time in Eucharistic adoration, or praying a decade of the Rosary for a specific intention teaches children that prayer itself can be an act of mercy.

Encourage them to pray intentionally for those who are ill, grieving, lonely, or deceased. Writing a note, drawing a picture, or sending a simple message to someone who is suffering helps children understand that compassion is not only felt, it is expressed.

A Lent That Bears Fruit

When children discover that sacrifice can lead to mercy, Lent stops feeling like a test and starts feeling like a chance to grow. Giving something up is no longer the goal; loving someone else is.

Lent shows them one of the most important truths of the Christian life: even small acts of self-denial, offered with love, can become powerful channels of grace—for others and for themselves.

And that is a lesson that lasts far longer than forty days.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

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Claudia Cangilla McAdam has a master’s degree in theology from the Augustine Institute and is the award-winning author of 30 books for kids and teens, including the picture book Louie’s Lent (Ascension Press). Visit her at ClaudiaMcAdam.com.