Facing My Desert

The Real Deal On Lent: Facing My Desert

So, Jesus Heads Into The Desert, And I Head To The Local Church. He’s Fasting For Forty Days, While I Can Barely Sit Through An Hour Of Mass Without My Mind Wandering To My Phone. He’s Battling The Devil, And I’m Battling My Notifications. And Somehow, I Act Like We’re Both On The Same Lent Journey. Spoiler: We’re Not.

The Gospel Paints This Picture Of Jesus; Hungry, Alone, Stripped Down To Nothing, And Saying No Every Single Time The Enemy Whispers An Easier Path. I Nod Along, But Honestly? I Don’t Feel Inspired, I Feel Totally Exposed. Because The Devil Throws Temptations At Him That I Say Yes To All The Time.

First Up: “Turn These Stones Into Bread.”

Translation: Use Your Power To Fix Your Discomfort Right Now. Don’t Wait. Don’t Trust. Don’t Be Weak. And Guess What? I Don’t Need A Desert For This, I Do It From My Couch. Hungry, Bored, Lonely, Anxious? I’m Reaching For Something: Food, My Phone, Any Distraction To Numb The Pain. Jesus Stays Hungry And Chooses Obedience. I Feel A Little Discomfort, And I Choose Relief Like It’s The Only Option.

Next: “Throw Yourself Down. Let The Angels Catch You.”

Prove Yourself. Make It Obvious. Force God To Show Up On Your Terms. I May Not Be Standing On A Temple, But Let’s Be Real, I Live In That Temptation. I Want God To Prove He’s Got My Back By Making Everything Smooth, Clear, And Painless. I Want A Faith Where He Swoops In Before Anything Hurts. Jesus? He Won’t Put The Father To The Test. I, On The Other Hand, Do It All The Time, With Prayers That Sound Holy But Are Really Just Me Saying, “If You Love Me, Make This Easier.”

And The Kicker: “All This I Will Give You, If You Bow Down And Worship Me.”

Take The Shortcut To Glory. Skip The Cross. Keep The Outcome, Lose The Sacrifice. This One Hits Home The Hardest, Because This Is The Lent I Keep Trying To Live: Resurrection Without Real Death, Holiness Without Giving Anything Up, Impact Without Surrender. I Want A Meaningful Life That Doesn’t Cost Me My Comfort. I’m All In For Following Jesus, Just Not If The Path Looks Too Much Like His.

But Here’s The Truth: The Desert Isn’t Just Where Jesus Went. It’s Where I Already Am, Whether I Want To Admit It Or Not.

My Desert? It’s Filled With Spiritual Exhaustion, Habits I Can’t Break, Sins I’ve Become Cozy With, Prayers That Feel Stale, And This Nagging Fear That Maybe I’ll Never Change. Instead Of Facing That Desert With Jesus, I Keep Decorating It, Adding Distractions, Excuses, And Little Comforts To Make It More Bearable Instead Of Letting It Purify Me.

Lent Sounds Great In Theory: Forty Days Of Prayer, Fasting, Almsgiving. But When It Comes Down To It, It Reveals That I Don’t Actually Want To Be Led By The Spirit Into A Place Where I Can’t Hide From My Own Junk. I Want Results. I Don’t Want Wilderness. I Want Clarity, Not Silence. I Want Consolation, Not Combat.

But Here’s The Kicker, the Spirit Doesn’t Lead Jesus Into The Desert To Destroy Him. He Leads Him There To Reveal Him. To Show That While Adam Fell In A Garden Of Plenty, Jesus Stands In A Desert Of Lack. While I Crumble At The First Hint Of Discomfort, Jesus Holds The Line For Every One Of My Failures And Compromises.

This Isn’t About Me Trying Harder To Be Like Jesus In The Desert. If I Could Just Muscle My Way Into Holiness, I Would’ve Done It By Now. It’s About Finally Admitting That My “Private” Temptations Aren’t Neutral. They’re Altars. Every Time I Quietly Bow To Comfort, Control, Image, Resentment, Or Self, Pity, I’m Worshiping Something That Isn’t God.

The Devil Doesn’t Show Up To Me With A Dramatic Entrance. Nope, He Hits Me With:

“One More Scroll. You’ve Had A Rough Day.”

“Don’t Confess That Sin Yet. Just Manage It A Little Longer.”

“You Can Forgive Later. They Haven’t Earned It.”

“You Don’t Need To Go That Deep With God. Just Stay Where It Feels Safe.”

While Jesus Responds To Every Temptation With The Word Of God, I Usually Respond With, “I’ll Deal With It Later.”

But “Later” Is How You Waste A Lent. “Later” Turns Forty Days Into Another Year Of Being Basically The Same Spiritually, Just With A Different Backdrop.

So Here I Am This First Sunday Of Lent: I’m Done Pretending My Desert Is Empty. It’s Stuffed With Idols I’ve Let Set Up Camp: Comfort, Control, Distraction, Fear. And Jesus Doesn’t Want Me To Conquer Them With Sheer Willpower. He’s Asking Me To Stand With Him While He Does.

Maybe This Lent Isn’t About Becoming Impressive. Maybe It’s Finally Time To Tell The Truth About The Temptations I’ve Been Shrugging Off As “No Big Deal.” Naming The Specific Places I’ve Been Bowing Down, Not In Theory, But By Name.

Because The Desert Is Where The Lies Get Loud, But It’s Also Where The Truth Gets Crystal Clear. I Am Dust. My Achievements Are Straw. My Self, Protection Isn’t Saving Me. And The Only One Who Walked Into The Wilderness And Came Out Victorious Is Inviting Me To Stop Pretending.