HESITATION OF THE ROSE

HESITATION OF THE ROSE

There are times in ones life, when hesitation has been overpowered by doubt, creating a lack of action. If what you heard was directed to you or someone else, that you failed to speak out. That this silent voice might have

been a factor in life changing events.

It is here I speak about hesitation that happened many years ago, and has troubled my heart and soul ever-since. This is a continuation and addition to RESERVOIR ROSES written August 21, 1996.

It is on August  11, 1996, I attended a retreat which Father DiOrio a well known healing priest was giving at the Sturbridge Host Conference Center in Sturbridge, Massachusetts. 

There was a healing Mass, and after receiving communion, I returned to my table and prayed with my eyes closed. Compassion, set in. Someone or something bumped me, and I opened my eyes. My eyes found a woman in the crowd, in a wheelchair, whom I hadn’t noticed before. She was hunched forward, her arm in a sling. My mind thought of all the infliction, disease and hurt in this room. My heart was in compassion, reaching out to them. This woman started to weep; my eyes watered also, as very, very, deep compassion, overtook my senses. 

After the Mass was over, I got up and went over to her. I knelt down on one knee and took her hand. She looked at me. I spoke no words. I looked deep into her eyes; I kissed her hand. She wept; the tears flowed; I took my other hand and put it on her shoulder to comfort her. I then placed my hand on her check, as our eyes met once again. I made the sign of the cross on her forehead, looking deeply into her eyes. I let all the Lord’s compassion within, flow from my heart, to hers. Oh, how the depth of my soul was burning for her. I was so moved, so overcome. No words; as her tears fell, she said, “Thank you.” I moved away, and went back to my table and sat down. So powerful! So powerful was this compassion. It was He who sent me there. It was He who made my shoes move, to her. So powerful, were these moments of grace. 

When there was a break between services, I left the room and went outside to my car. The woman in the wheelchair was just outside the door sitting in the sun, with a man standing next to her. Coming back inside, she beckoned to me, and I went over to her. She wanted to thank me again, for administering to her. She said the other people at her table told her, that when I looked at her, and looked into her eyes, I looked like the Lord. (I can only tell you, that I was so focused at the time, no one else was present in that room but myself, this woman, and the presence of our Lord. If indeed I looked like the Lord, then it was His eyes and His heart that were present. I could not speak any words, for words at these moments were mute, and the compassion of the Lord was speaking, not I.) 

I asked the man if they were husband and wife. He said “yes.” I asked how long they were married, he replied 34 years. I asked when their anniversary was. He told me it was the 30th of June. I said I was married 34 years also, and my anniversary, was June 9. I asked the woman if she knew that the month of June was the month of the 'rose.' She said, “No, I didn’t know that, but I want to show you this.” She proceeded to take a small written paper from her purse, about the miracle of the 'Red Rose' of Venezuela. I read what was written on the paper: “a piece of a 'Rose' (a petal) that came from the heart of Mystic Maria Esperanza De Bianchini.” Enclosed in this paper packet was a red rose petal she had gotten on her visit to Venezuela. (Maria Esperanza had a rose come out of her chest 15 times, between January 18, 1986 and August 15, 1995. This stigmata of the rose is unexplainable.)   Once again, looked into her purse. She took out a “rosary”; a rosary made out of red “rose” petals in the shape of small red hearts. I was astonished by all of these coincidences. But should I really be? I told her not to be disappointed, if she was not healed. I said, “Your name is?” She said her name is, “Rosalie.” This was so incredible! This strong spiritual message of the “rose” in my life. Of the 500 people there, I was directed, to her. The Lord called; my heart was moved, immersed with compassion and grace. I administered, to His will. 

And of anything that happened at this retreat, what affected me the most? The woman in the wheelchair: Rosalie saying goodbye to the people at her table; weeping; weeping in tears; unhealed, as her husband wheeled her away, to go home. I wanted to speak to her, but was glued to my chair and couldn’t. The time was not right, and was reserved, for Rosalie and her husband. There will, be another time! Her face I will never, ever forget. Those weeping tears: my work unfinished; the healing unfinished; the weeping “rose” faded from my view, leaving me with “rose” petals, that wept. As I drove home in my car: the burning; the reaching out; those weeping tears of desperation, falling from her soul, crying out; crying out from within. 

After retiring for the evening on Monday as I lay on my bed waiting for sleep, I was in deep prayer, praying for “Rosalie,” the tears of compassion rolling down my face; the presence of the Lord, was burning inside my soul, 

like embers, ever so present, in my efforts of petition, for the “rose,” that weeps. 

PRAYER AND BLESSING OF THE ROSE 

“Lord Jesus Christ, I do not believe, You would call me to this place, and out of 500 people, “direct” me to a “rose”; fill me with overwhelming compassion; stand me up, move my feet; and administer to a woman in a wheelchair named “Rosalie,” if not for some great purpose, or reason. Lord Jesus of Divine Mercy, if it be a miracle of Divine Healing, or of great works in accordance to Your Will, then let it be so. We ask this Lord Jesus, in Your Holy Name, Lord Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. Amen.” 

HESITATION OF THE ROSE

And so, on October 27, 1996 I return  to the Sturbridge Conference Center

in Sturbridge, Mass. for a Eucharistic Service and Healing Blessing by Father Ralph A. Diorio.

It is after Mass when Father Diorio started to call out names in healing. Then

to my astonishment, he said. “Is there a Rose Here?” My heart took a skip and thought, “is he speaking to me?”  I said nothing. Again he asked, “Is there a Rose here?” No one answered. I said nothing. He was very adamant and asked again, “ Anyone way in the back? Anyone  at the side?” No one answered. I said nothing. He moved on and soon the service was over.

I did not know it at the time, that I could have spoken up in PROXY for Rosalie. Although he specifically asked about Rose, and not Rosalie, put

doubt in my mind.

So, it is this hesitation that has cast a shadow on my heart and soul, that I failed to speak out, that another time indeed was here, and I let it pass by.

That I was called to assist in a healing and could not finish the mission.

Sad to say, this has weighed  heavily on my thoughts for many, many years.

Robert J Varrick

June 26, 2019

rjvarrick@gmail.com

Rosalie B McKnight

May 2, 1939 - April 22, 2013