God is good, and there is never anything God cannot use, except for an unwilling heart. We can fail a thousand times over, making all the most pathetic and pitiful mistakes imaginable, but if our hearts are at least open to God being with us, then God can work. If our hearts are willing, that is enough; it is impossible for a heart open to God not to bear good fruit.
When a gymnast first tries out the bar, she stumbles many times over and cannot even hold herself together. She cannot stay upright; to continue holding herself aloft strains her wrists, and to even make a full rotation is well out of the question – and more time she spends on the matt on the floor, than she does there on the bar.
There are two paths ahead of her, one of success and one of defeat. Either she will one day be a good gymnast, or she will stop being a gymnast altogether; she has a choice ahead of her, a career in this field – yet what distinguishes the girl who is successful from the one who never gets past the first hurdle?
Both are confronted at the beginning with many attempts that are unsuccessful. Both have to endure through many days of failure. There could be years, even, before the gymnast begins to show any improvement. Both the girl who is successful and the girl who is not might even have a similar skillset when first starting out. The girl who gives up might even be more talented than the girl who keeps going – talent has very little to do with it. One girl continues while the other does not. What is the difference?
One of the girls is not concerned with her own performance or with her own failures, she is looking somewhere else, to some object that is not herself. She is not there to get better, she is there to have fun in gymnastics. When this girl goes home, she does not even think about her future as a gymnast.
The other girl is not so, but is chiefly concerned about her own success here at this institution of gymnastics, and strives arduously to improve herself in every way that she possibly can. She has one object, which is to be the best gymnast that she can be.
The first girl is of a heart aloof, and often has her head in the clouds before she enters into the gym. Many a daydream she brings with her, and is often not at all focused as she falls again and again at the bar. All too apt is she to go on many colloquial tangents with her instructor, on all that is not related to this particular activity, that of gymnastics – but she is having fun, both in talking to her instructor, and even in the moments of her failure. She is happy to be here, and loves to be a gymnast – even if on paper, she cannot do the most basic routines on the bar.
One might say this girl is not focused, and will not improve, and will not show any signs of being a good gymnast. One might say she should start believing in herself, take initiative, and seek to do better as a gymnast. Her mother certainly scowls in her general direction, wishing this were so.
The other girl, the one who is focused, the one who is ready, the one who has no mission but to be the best gymnast she can be – this girl certainly believes in herself; all she sees is herself. She has one mission: to be the best. Yet which of these two girls is on the path towards being a true gymnast?
Alas, for both girls are confronted on the outset by a great barrage of failures! For weeks they are not up to par for where they should be, and neither are skillful enough to compete.
The girl who is there to have fun, sees that she is a failure, and continues to have fun – because she enjoys gymnastics. The other girl is furious with herself, and demands that she do better. She takes note of the slightest error, not sparing herself even to breathe if she deems the moment unbefitting. And what amounts between the two girls, might strike one as being something of a contradiction.
The girl who is there to have fun, and only have fun, strangely begins to show improvement – even as she does not care about improvement. The girl who has one goal – to be the best gymnast she can be – does not show improvement, even though she earnestly strives for it. Even on the most basic routines, she develops new bad habits. She has sought to be a good gymnast, but the more she tries, the more she stumbles. And the more she grows frustrated with herself, the more she doubts she can continue at all – and eventually does she give up. For she sees no way past those waves which surround her, in which all she sees is failure.
The girl who has overcome, had a heart which did not look to the waves of her failures, but only to the fun of gymnastics. In this she saw God, not herself, and in God there is a path – a new day is of promise, a new day is of fun, because the good of the day is in God, and not in anything she does. Her heart is simple, happy to be in the day as it is, joyful in God as she is happy to see the good, to have fun, to live.
The other girl is concerned with something else – she does not look to God but herself. Instead of having fun in gymnastics, she is measuring everything by one object – herself. The aloof gymnast is rooted in God, while the ambitious gymnast is rooted in herself. What joy she experiences, is a joy relating only to herself – and when she does well, so is she happy; but when she does not do well, alas, she is most miserable, and no consolation in all the world is sufficient to quell the storms of her bitterness. She demands that she should have done better, argues earnestly that she had to have done better, and takes upon herself all the burden of doing the best that she can – not realizing, that outside of God, as she focuses only on herself, she can do nothing! Whatever joy was there in gymnastics, that first led her here, has long ago disappeared – drowned by her furious ambition to see herself be a good gymnast. All this while the other girl, who is there because gymnastics is fun, continues to have fun because her heart is not in herself, but in something without – in God, in whom she encounters all that is good in gymnastics. In this no detail of the sport is of any relevance to her specifically, because she does not take herself into account – and thus she is not hindered by resentment or bitterness, because even if she was on reserves and never even got to participate, this girl would still have fun because she sees what is going on around her, not referring anything to herself and her own want. She might even be a much greater failure than the girl who eventually gives up – one variable remains constant: her heart is open to God; while the heart of the ambitious gymnast is not, but is swept away in no concern but herself.
The girl who overcomes has a heart which does not look to the waves and believes them, but continues to keep God ahead of her, never giving up even though there is much failure. This girl could even be a much greater failure at first, falling all over the place, but still continue on into the end to be a competitive gymnast, if her heart continues to keep God in view. While the girl who gets caught up in the nature of all that is going around her, who looks to the waves and believes them, and begins to base her judgments on these observed failures, loses heart for the future, and leaves, thinking that by her failures she will never be a good gymnast.
The first girl has a light guiding her on, one that comes from God, as she is open to the world around her, and not driven by her own heart towards an end she wants. To be a failure, this she does not even consider – it is out of the question. Where is failure in those birds that are flying by the window, she might wonder; or where is failure as the garbage man returns again to empty the dumpster – this she might ponder as the girl besides her talks so much about this strange notion of failure.
To this girl of aloofness, to be a failure is not a variable, against her own weakness the girl is not deceitful nor pretends she is not in need of improvement, but she keeps going because she loves being a gymnast, and this love is greater than any ambition or want. All her improvement is only a fruit of this love; she is present, happy, content, and joyful - and even though she may not be good at first, she continues to improve because her heart is open, and in her heart God has a place where he can work.
Not so the other girl, who because she is so concerned about herself and about what she wants first and foremost– believes and follows those waves that appear to her, believing them because this is where she looks. The waves of her failures seem impenetrable, and this because they are more important to her than God; her heart is looking not to God, but to herself.
All comes down to the heart – and wheresoever the person goes, is along one of the paths of these two girls. The first girl loves God, the second girl loves herself. By this love, so do they conduct the course of their ship. One of them is borne by a wind that comes from God, while the other is tossing about whatever wind blows her way, whichever one seems to be of relevance to herself. Onwards they go, either to success or failure. The girl with much ambition, falls beneath her ambition; while the girl who is successful, is only so because when confronted by even more terrible failures, she does not look to them, nor despair of herself – she looks to God. In God she sees there is a sun on this day, the bar is ready with chalk, and it is fun to jump up again and continue in gymnastics. One girl has fun, one girl loves the Lord, one girl endures even if she is a failure – while the other girl could have gone on the same path. It was open, but she herself walks away from it – because she judges it to be closed to her. She is proud, and this pride has blinded her from the truth right before her eyes – that no matter how miserable she may truly be, God is still there, all good in his hands, welcoming her into the world, calling her to be a part of it, and live.
So does God always invite us into this world, to be joyful and pursue a life abundant in it – there is always good before us, if we have eyes willing to look. There is joy in every circumstance, and nowhere is there any cause but to give thanks – if we are miserable, if we are discouraged, if we believe that there is something truly hopeless, this is only a sign that we have lost sight of Jesus. Only if our hearts begin to hold something more important to ourselves, do we lose sight of the truth. It is easy to begin believing our job, our family, our house, our life or anything else is more fitting at this moment to ponder in our hearts than God. This way is wide, this way is common, and if we are not careful we may very well find ourselves caught in the midst of it. But we must be the captain of our ship, and direct it upon the right course. But this do we know that our course is false, that we do not bear fruits of the Holy Spirit; and here we need to turn back to Jesus, to throw ourselves out of all consideration, and be like the girl who endures until the end – who looks not to herself, but to the good of gymnastics.
The world is before us, and it is a very big world, that we have no excuse to be concerned about ourselves. God is here, and this is a day that he has made – let us rejoice and be glad in it!
You will show me the path to lifeabounding joy in your presence
the delights at your right hand forever.
Psalm 16:11
I am a Catholic of the Iowa area, from the St Theresa Parish from the local Des Moines diocese. I enjoy writing with the time that I have, and also helping out where I can at my local parish. I am working on a creative project called Leydaelphos, that I am still struggling to finish as it continues to get more and more complex, and I also write theological essays during Scripture devotionals. In these and also articles I write, I seek inspiration, and to write towards the end of that inspiration – trusting God to carry me through. Often he does, leading me onwards on roads I never before imagined, roads I discover only as I first seek God. He speaks very simply, and very directly, and as we remain in him, so does he remain in us, and carries us into worlds that lie far beyond ourselves. To always be seeking his mystery, this is where God is calling us to be; to love all things unconditionally! Though alas, sinners we be, God is yet rich in grace and mercy.
