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Jacinta: Hello and welcome to Two Hearts True Healing! I am your host Jacinta Wick and with me is co-host Angela Stansell. We have been journeying together on the theme of desolation. This article gets into more specifics
Angela: Here’s Rule 8: “Let one who is in desolation work to be in patience, which is contrary to the vexations which comes to him, and let him think that he will soon be consoled, diligently using the means against such desolation, as is said in the sixth rule.”
This rule guides us to take the specific steps that will enable us to endure spiritual desolation. It’s as if we can hear St. Ignatius quoting Dori from Finding Nemo. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” In the spiritual life, we keep swimming by choosing certain thoughts and actions, despite our feelings. You may have heard that the best thing to do to grow in patience is to find something to do while you wait. The Latin root of the word “patience” is pati, which means suffering. When He permits desolation, Jesus invites us to share in His Passion. While we’re choosing these actions, laid out in Rule 6, we’re also choosing to think that the desolation will end soon.
So this type of patience takes a lot of effort. And this is where the growth happens. God made our brains, and they are part of our spiritual life. Again, like CBT, we’re invited to strengthen the synapses that are related to an attitude of hope and selflessness by repeatedly choosing the thoughts of the Lord, Who is perfect, longsuffering Love. The Love that carried the human race through the fall of Adam and Eve and the disloyal generations of the Old Testament, the Love that carried the Cross to Calvary. I’m reminded of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings character, Samwise Gamgee. He’s loyally encouraging “Mr. Frodo” every step of the way, at one point, literally carrying Frodo forward, despite his own exhaustion. It’s the stouthearted recognition that there is something more important than how we feel and especially the recognition that our lives are all connected.
So as we’re putting Rule 6 into action– choosing to be aware of our spiritual state and examining what’s feeding it, petitioning God for help, remembering the times He has helped and loved us, engaging in penance– we can find strength, for example, in calling to mind someone we know who we want to encourage. Maybe their trial appears more difficult than ours. Maybe it’s just a recognition that there is someone, somewhere, whose trial really is more difficult, whether we know them or not. Take one small step in your desolation, even if it’s sitting up in bed and putting your feet on the floor (“the heroic minute”!) or pausing for a moment when you’re emotionally triggered, as a prayer of action for them. Doing things like this also help us grow in gratitude for the blessings we do have from God. Things like this are part of the process of being strengthened, and if we resist the spiritual desolation, it will not harm us.
Another thought that helps us build patience is to remember that God is a good Father, and a good father disciplines. He does it in a fair way, without withdrawing his love, and he does it because he cares about the outcome of his children. He wants us to learn what is good for us, and so when He allows trials, this isn’t some kind of indifference on His part. If your experience of your earthly father feels far from that, I invite you to take a look at My Father’s Heart, which is Season 1 of Two Hearts True Healing, and also a group Bible study available on our website. The more we understand the nature of our heavenly Father, the more we can trust Him, and the more we can be pliable as He shapes us in all our spiritual states.
So we patiently accept the lesson, even if we’re not sure exactly what that less on is at the time. We can think “This too shall pass.” “This is temporary.” We can recall when God says to the prophet Jeremiah that He has plans for all of us and that those plans are good!
If we notice black-and-white thinking, it’s a sign that we have work to do when it comes to the thoughts we choose. We need to be aware of times when we use always/never language, such as expecting the desolation to be permanent, expecting our entire prayer time to be dry, expecting the commitment to service to be forever without happiness, etc. The opposite of those thoughts would be “I’ve come out of desolation before. I’m not being wronged by this experience. I’m being strengthened because God wants me in heaven and wants me to inspire others to choose heaven, too.” They might sound like “My prayer has been dry lately, but if I want prayer to feel good, I first have to initiate the prayer. God loves me and always wants to meet me where I’m at. He’s just so much wiser than I will ever be.” They might sound like, “I don’t feel much anymore when it comes to the service I do for others for God. But God can still love others through me, just like Mother Teresa, who experienced much darkness. Even if I don’t feel good all the time doing it, I want to give to others. That’s a decision I know I won’t regret.”
When we choose thoughts like, “This desolation is just who I am, and it’s not going to change.” We don’t know this to be a fact. It’s a defeatist attitude that God does not share with us. The One who does know the future is One of hope. Again, this is the “easy” yoke of hope, the “light” burden of trust. Also, remember that if He really does want us to discontinue something, He will show us when we’re in consolation.
Romans 8:28 tells us the future is in God’s hands. “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
We need to make sure that we don’t give negativity credit that’s undue. Life, hope, always finds a way! The promise of heaven is real, and the immensity of eternity can put our finite troubles into perspective. Not to say that they’re insignificant. We just tend to have the fallen perspective that comes from orienting ourselves toward these troubles fully, while we have turned our backs to the reality of our heavenly home. We tend to turn our backs on the fact that our destiny and the destinies that we influence depend, in part, on our resistance to desolation. It is this reality that God wants us to turn towards. This makes me think of how Beethoven, who was deaf, debuted his 9th Symphony and couldn’t hear the applause afterwards. Someone had to turn him around to show him the rest of his reality in that moment. What a difference our perspective can make when we turn ourselves towards joy.
From Discernment of Spirits, p. 109, Fr. Gallagher writes “There is a kind of spiral of grace here. When persons in spiritual desolation think that the desolation will not characterize the future forever but that spiritual consolation will soon return, then, fortified by this thinking, they will gain increased energy to employ the four means mentioned in the sixth rule. And when they diligently use these four means, the thinking of which Ignatius speaks will become all the more possible. Those persons, who with humble trust in God’s sufficing grace, think and act in this way, are solidly set on the path to overcoming spiritual desolation. We touch here the mystery of divine grace and human effort working together; such persons may say with Paul: ‘His grace to me has not been ineffective. Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them; not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me’ (1 Cor 15:10).”
He goes on to tell an anecdote with a man named Anthony. Anthony has been experiencing desolation and dryness for about a week. He wakes up on Saturday and would normally spend a set period of time in church but thinks that it will likely be just as dry as the past week has been and almost doesn’t go. But then he reflects on this and remembers the rules we’ve been studying. He knows it’s not the time to change anything related to prayer. He prays and asks God to help him with this and also remembers past consolation and times when his Saturday morning prayer has been fruitful. He patiently proceeds to carry out his routine despite the challenging thoughts and feelings, and, quoting Discernment of Spirits on p. 108, he finds in it “a peace that sustains him throughout the day. Anthony has worked to remain patient, not to surrender but to persevere faithfully.”
Fr. Gallagher’s anecdote is a realistic one because we all experience these ups and downs, although Satan would have us believe otherwise. With any aspect of life, spiritual or non-spiritual, wise choices can help us with the “downs” and afford for us some “ups”. However, there will always be things outside of our control. “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.” You could say the same with climate. Even the land where the Sahara Desert sits once was once lush and humid!! Neither sunshine nor rain will last forever. “All things are fleeting.” I also think it’s important to note that there exists an “in between” where we are in neither state. Ignatius goes into this in his Spiritual Exercises.
From p. 110: “Both spiritual consolation and desolation lie within God’s loving providence, the first given and the second permitted by God; and both are a ‘lesson’ through which God offers us spiritual growth.” It’s as if we have a permanent spiritual personal trainer in this life that continues challenging and helping us, whether we choose to step foot in the gym or not. When we are intentional about this sort of “spiritual fitness,” though, this training becomes much more effective. And all of this is done because our loving Father wants us to choose Heaven and spread the Gospel to everyone along the way. If you want a sort of companion through reading, you could pick up a copy of Awakenings by Julian of Norwich, who writes about these ups and downs, which for her are often very intense and change very suddenly. I think when we see something in its extreme form it can be really helpful for learning purposes. She says “Some souls profit by experiencing this, to be comforted at one time, and at another to fail and to be left to themselves. God wishes us to know that He keeps us safe all the time, in sorrow and in joy.” God is not a helicopter parent, rescuing us from every one of life’s troubles, nor does He raise latchkey kids who expect to fend for themselves all the time. The nature of God is always at the sweet spot of those types of continuums.
Before I turn it over to Jactina, I just want to mention that a common obstacle in the spiritual life is to compare one’s own “behind-the-scenes reel” to another’s “feature presentation.” We can conclude that we’re the only ones who struggle with this discouragement and that others who appear into their faith never doubt or struggle or face temptation and therefore conclude: “Maybe this just isn’t for me.” Not so. Again, everyone goes through these ups and downs. God has given each person this purpose, to be holy–set apart–for Him, to become a saint.
Jacinta: Thank You Angela! It is important to remember that in desolation a must is to look back and see how God has been present to us in the past and how He has spoken to us and moved us and consoled us. This will awaken the hope and trust that Angela was just speaking of. That is one reason it is so important to journal and keep track of the graces we have been given because then we go, “Oh! God did X for me last week so why wouldn’t he do Y for me tomorrow?” It’s a part of the remedy for one of the biggest pitfalls and traps of the human experience and the enemy…forgetfulness. We CANNOT have spiritual amnesia. It is very devastating. Though there is a time for holy forgetfulness, we must not give into complacent forgetfulness or lukewarmness. This is one of the biggest problems that faced the children of Israel and contributed to their downfalls. Let’s jump back to Deuteronomy 4:32-40.
“For ask now of the days that are past, which were before you, since the day that God created man upon the earth, and ask from one end of heaven to the other, whether such a great thing as this has ever happened or was ever heard of. Did any people ever hear the voice of God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has God ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great terrors, according to all that the Lord your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the Lord is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you; and on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. And because he loved your fathers and chose their descendants after them, and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as at this day; know therefore this day, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you this day, that it may go well with you, and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which the Lord your God gives you for ever.” – Deuteronomy 4:32-40
When we listen to what happened in the past, we can learn for the future. If we do not study our own and collective histories and forget then history repeats itself. There is nothing new under the sun. God’s commands have a safety net and when we step outside them then we have problems. That does not mean, as Angela said, that we won’t have suffering. I am not preaching the popular prosperity gospel. It just means that we have purpose. A life with belonging is a much easier path when we know we are loved…Any healing journey must start here. A life with a purpose and goal is much more fulfilling than willy nilly chaos. God does like a flexible heart but not one without resilience. A strengthening of the muscles per say. A heart of gumption. Being holy is not always a walk in the park. It’s not easy to be magnanimous. We must spend our energy wisely and not vacillate between our ups and downs one minute doing all the things and then the next barely keeping a float. Slow and steady wins the race. We move when God moves and only when He says. This fortifies us and gives us strength to live our gifts and talents well. Luke says, “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace; but when one stronger than he assails him and overcomes him, he takes away his armor in which he trusted, and divides his spoil. He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.” – Luke 11:21-23
Looking back on the good we have seen, opens up a memoriam. It brings us into the ever-present now and out of time into the eternal. When we get discouraged, it is hard to walk this way. But living in this state and walking with the confidence that if we have seen it then it can and will happen now, opens trust. When we tell ourselves it will in fact happen soon then we can continue…I refer you to the study of kids and marshmallows. It is the exercise of the alternating desolation consolation that grows us but “God wishes us to know that he keeps us safe all the time in sorrow and in joy” Julian of Norwich (after twenty times of being thrown from height to depth) “this vision was shown to teach me to understand that some souls profit by experiencing this to be comforted at one time and at another to fail and to be left to themselves…” God knows what will best aid us and draw us close to Him and open heaven to us. He appreciates the small acts of holiness done with great love and persistence. He sees the weak little uses that sometimes struggle for just the next step. Don’t be ashamed of struggle. We all struggle. And when we realize this, that we are not alone, then it becomes easier.
For the Lord hears the needy, and does not despise his own that are in bonds. Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves therein. For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah; and his servants shall dwell* there and possess it; – Psalms 69:33-35
So let’s get really practical. When we are in the throes of struggle, what do we do? We tell ourselves the truth of the situation and that it will eventually cease…and consolation will return soon. We keep our fire alive by reminding ourselves quietly of God being with us and holding us in His right hand. And us holding the good in our right hand. (Psalm 16) How do we do this? By keeping a positive outlook as Angela was saying. The negative synapses really are damaging and take up a lot of room and brain space. Whereas the positive builds and connects pathways. For every negative in our brains we should reinforce the right pathway with three positives. We will follow the interior voice that clamors the most so we must make it be the right voice. This is how important it is to make sure we are on the right path. Where our thoughts are, there is where our hearts will be. What you think does have an impact on your daily life and will affect you.
This leads me to one more thought picking up from our last episode. We touched briefly on scrupulosity. I say this next part in all gentleness having struggled with it myself. How does one come out of the trap of being stuck in: “Am I good enough?” “I forgot that sin in confession.” “Does God still love me even though I did X?” How to overcome this is very similar to this current rule…We fill our minds with, “I am going to be forgiven” “I am forgiven.” “God’s mercy and love are big enough…” “I will soon be consoled…” and then living like you just meant those thoughts…But this does not mean making excuses and letting ourselves off the hook. We are responsible for our eternal welfare. It just means we tell ourselves the truth so that that negative interior voice is silenced. We will then discover thst interior freedom and peace that allows us to breathe and to live our lives to the full. That peaceful fulfilling breath of fresh air that gives us strength for one more step.
I want to close with a quote from the great St. Teresa of Avila. Talk about a staunch resilient soul! “Perhaps we do not know what love is, nor does this greatly surprise me. Love does not consist in great sweetness of devotion, but in a fervent determination to strive to please God in all things, in avoiding as far as possible, all that would offend Him, and in praying for the increase of the glory and honor of His Son and for the growth of the Catholic Church.”–an excerpt from Interior Castle p. 54-55
Thank you so much for listening. If you have any prayer intentions please e-mail them to us at prayer@twoheartstruehealing.com or for more general comments or inquiries please reach out to us at twoheartstruehealing@outlook.com or on our webpage www.twoheartstruehealing.com . Stay tuned for our next prayer livestream and until we meet again go with God!
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Hello! I am a writer and podcaster looking to make a difference in the world of faith and mental health. I believe in the power of God’s love and wish to help bring you closer to Him. I am a wife and stay-at-home mom of three beautiful girls. We enjoy the adventure of homeschooling and living on our small homestead in the country. Other things we enjoy together are the great outdoors and hanging out with friends and family. We are active in our parish and community. www.twoheartstruehealing.com
