Why art thou cast down, O my Soul?

Before we get started, check out my previous article; Ascending the mountain, and, if you want to learn about my new book, please go here; Elisabeth and the other man book discussion, and, if you want to help me out for the start of the year, go here; Help with medical bills

“As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday. Why are thou cast down, O my soul? and why art though disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the helps of his countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar. Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.” (Psalm 42).
Okay, so, that's a lot to go through! But, some of y'all may or may not know this, but, I have struggled with depression my whole life. I'm also a recovering self-harmer. But, I think we need to have this discussion. While I've never been told to just “get over” my depression, it's important to note that the thoughts and impulses are still there.
It's also important to note, that, I DO have a suicide in my family.
So, obviously, mental health is something I am passionate about.
And no, reading the Bible isn't going to “cure” your depression. But, if your opinion to its message, it can at least help you through it.
God loves you.
And let's go through some of this. “My tears have been my meat day and night”, as it says in v. 3. It's important to note, that the word “meat” had a broader meaning than “animal flesh”, historically, and the Hebrew can be translated to “food”,le·hem. So, my feeling here, is the Psalmist is saying, “I'm living off of my tears”. But, as v. 1 tells us, “ As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God”. The Psalmist here is revealing something very real, and since the King James Version is a little confusing to modern speakers, let's use a newer version of the Bible, Psalm 42:1 New Revised Standard Version, Anglicised Catholic Edition. Apparently, a hart is a deer.
Anyway, we have whitetail deer where I live, lots of them. And yes, they can be often found near streams, as they have to have a freshwater source. I'm pretty sure Israel has deer, and, in a place like Israel, seeing a deer means water, and that means survival. And yes, Israel has this; Persian Fallow Deer
Anyway, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?”(v. 5)
I think that is profound. You can ask yourself why you feel a certain way, sometimes it can be because of the feeling of betrayal (see here; Emotional infidelity and the culpability of sin), but, the truth is this; depression isn't logical. You don't need to have a trigger to go through a depressive episode. Sometimes, they just happen.
And, if you're curious about the specific type of depression I was diagnosed with; Major depressive disorder, recurrent severe without psychotic features
I'm open about it, so I don't mind talking about it.
God loves you, love yourself.