Husbands Love Your Wives: Reflections on the Readings for the Feast of the Holy Family, 2025

If you haven’t already read the readings you can find them here

Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14
Psalm128
Col 3:12-21
Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23

The Sunday following Christmas is the Feast of the Holy Family. The family is the basic unit of society. From the family flows all the developments, growth, interactions, even rules and regulations, that contribute to a robust and healthy society. Thus the Church calls the family the domestic church (Catechism of the Catholic Church, CCC, 2204). As we see in our own nation, breakdown of the family has disastrous effects.

The Christian family is a “community of faith, hope, and charity (2204). Like the Holy Trinity, it is “a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit” (CCC 2205)

The family was established by God. The Holy Family sets the example for the world. The readings for this feast tell us the things that are expected within the family, God’s design for the family, how to treat each other, and that Christ is an important part of the family. Most of all, from the first reading we learn, “God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.”

The importance of the parents and their role is woven throughout this reading. The adverse statistics of poor parenting, especially in homes without a father, are staggering and show the detrimental effects on a society that fails or refuses to follow God’s design. For example, the destruction of the family has resulted in about 28% of children under 18 living in a home with only one parent resulting in over five times increase in likelihood to live in poverty, increased health problems, and higher likelihood of criminal activity. Approximately 70% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. And yet there are forces in the political world that regularly propose actions and policies that lead to the breakdown of the family.

The Fourth Commandment, the first commandment after those declaring the primacy of God, shows the importance of the family. It states, “Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”

Sirach emphasizes the importance of the father in the family and the need to revere and care for him, even in his old age. A father’s prayer is heard.” Prayer, often first learned within the context of the family, is the foundation of our spiritual lives, and we all want to be heard when we pray.

The responsorial (Psalm 128) again reminds us of being obedient to the Lord. By following in His ways, we will be blessed. And those blessings also extend to our homes and families. “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; your children like olive plants around your table.” The writer George MacDonald, who was a great influence on C.S. Lewis, notes in one of his sermons, “To obey Him [Christ] is the only way to be one with Him.” Jesus also tells us of the importance for obedience when he asks, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ but not do what I command?” (Luke 6:46)

This entails “fear of the Lord.”  This is reverent fear, not like the fear of one bent on destruction (such as Satan). It involves awe in the greatness of God as well as the fear one has of offending one deserving of all of our love. And, if we “fear the Lord and walk in his ways” we shall be rewarded with prosperity, not necessarily earthly prosperity, but spiritual prosperity.

The second reading also talks of family matters. The reading from Colossians talks about unselfish love. Dr. Peter Kreeft mentions this as an important characteristic of the family: “The family is the single most important institution on earth. All the happiest, most peaceful, and most enduring societies in history have had a deep respect for the family. It is the first place where we learn life’s most important lesson: unselfish love, the love that consists in the gift of your very self and life to others.” (Dr. Peter Kreeft, Food for the Soul, Cycle C.) God has set the example of compassionate, humble, and patient love which we are also to follow. St. Paul reminds us that we are all part of the one body of the Lord. The family is also like the body of the Lord, with the father as the head, the first servant of the family, and the wife and children as bodily members. Some have difficulty with this part of Paul’s letter (and many homilists will avoid it) but it should be taken in the context of Christ as the head who gave himself for the Church (the body). Similarly, the father is the head, the example of familial love, and gives himself for the family, who dutifully follow his example.

In the gospel selection St. Matthew tells us some of the important aspects of Joseph as the head of the Holy Family. Joseph was a righteous man of faith. Having already responded positively to the messages of God through His angels, here again Joseph is challenged with a daunting task, “Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt,
and stay there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him.”

What is omitted from today’s gospel reading is significant. Although it was probably left out because the focus of today’s celebration is the Holy Family, the missing selection depicts Herod’s angry response to being deceived by the Magi (who went home without returning to him) by murdering “all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity two years old and under.” We remember this with the Feast of the Holy Innocents, normally celebrated on December 28th, but is superseded this year by the Feast of the Holy Family.

Again we see Joseph’s willingness to follow God’s commandments by remaining in Egypt until told by the angels to return, after Herod’s death. These travels had to be difficult for the young family but, contrary to what some would have us believe, they would not be considered refugees as Egypt was also part of the Roman Empire at the time and so they were not escaping to another country.

The importance of fatherhood is evident not only in the statistics but just based on simple observation of family dynamics. Just this morning I saw a family come into a restaurant. The child came in holding mom’s hand but as soon as they sat down he took up a position close to dad. I often see similar dynamics with families in church. It’s not every case but happens in the majority of cases I have observed.

So, throughout these readings we see the importance of the family both in God’s eyes and as a foundation of society. We also see the various roles each member takes on. And as is consistent with the many lessons throughout Scripture we see the importance of obedience, both to God, His Word, and to our earthly family.