Christmas – Happy time or Not So Much

Christmas arrives wrapped in lights, laughter, and expectation—yet for many, it quietly amplifies the ache of loneliness rather than easing it.

For so many who “celebrate” Christmas, it is just another day.  Nothing special… they get up, brush their teeth (and maybe not even that) get dressed (and maybe not even that) and do what they can to get through the day.  It’s not that they don’t know or appreciate the birth of our Lord and its importance, it is just that their circumstances are such that they are alone.

Don't forget them

If you are not one of these people and you are blessed with the joy of spending time with family and friends, you may forget about those whose Christmas experience is one of unhappiness, loneliness and some level of depression.  A feeling of loneliness is such an empty feeling.  Questions like: Does anyone care about me?  Why me?  Is my being alone my own fault?  These questions and others like them run through the minds of those who, either by happenstance or circumstance, have no one to spend Christmas with.  I know, I am one of them.

It is not easy to admit this.  I’ve learned that a bit of “baring my soul” is not a bad thing and may help others through the writing of this article.  But the truth is, being alone isn’t always pleasant.  I’ll get through it.  I always do.  I’ve decided it’s His will.  My way of dealing with it is to be joyful for those who do have loved ones to share in the joy of Christ’s birth.  It’s even gotten to the point I have doubts whether to even decorate at Christmas.  Yes, I am one of those who, until the last year or two, would go “all out” to decorate my home.  Someone once told me that Christmas is the one time in the year when going overboard to decorate is permitted.  So, I always did.  But in recent years, I’ve begun to wonder why decorate at all.  Afterall, I am the only one besides God who sees it anyway.  It’s lots of work and it’s only for me to experience.  Time will tell if my outlook on decorating changes.

Spending Christmas alone only magnifies what is already in my heart.  My joy is quieter, but the loneliness is louder.  Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely.  I can still feel the connection to God through my memories or prayers for the future….. that next year, Christmas might be less lonely, even if my friends are not physically present.

Adjusting

The silence of the day can be holy.  With no conversation, music or time spent with others, space is created to appreciate the deeper message of Christmas…..Jesus’ arrival, choosing humility, stillness and prayerfulness.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

There were so many traditions from my youth which I’ve not forgotten, but which have gone by the wayside with time.  Times like….. our family piling into the car and slowly, in one evening, going to all our relatives to spend a little time with each, always happened.  Attending midnight mass…….  Now, that was a given.  My parents, driving my brothers and I around the city looking at the lights on the houses, going downtown and looking at the Christmas scenes in the store windows, was an exciting and fun activity I, as a small child, couldn’t wait for each year.  Each year, in our Polish tradition, my father would make Polich sausage, and my mother made Polish bread, both of which were labor-intensive tasks, but that was “Christmas”.  Now simple rituals like lighting a candle, praying or listening to an especially poignant hymn can carry profound weight when done alone.  Afterall, being alone, this is my reality.

Awareness

Because I am one who spends Christmas alone, I can be more compassionate to those, like me, who are alone, and am more aware and prayerful of those like me who feel unseen or forgotten.  Each year, I watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” and as I watch George Bailey pray as he stands on the bridge, asking for God’s help, I see myself, also praying.

Our Lord’s presence is not lessened for me by the absence of people.  I try to find ways of discovering Jesus in the quiet of my home.  If you are one of these people, know that if no one is there for you, or with you at Christmas, Jesus is.  And that can be enough if you prepare your heart for it.

Be The Face of Jesus

However, if you are one whose life is filled with family and friends on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the entire Christmas season, may God bless you.  Remember those who spend Christmas in a quieter way.  Perhaps reach out and let them know you care, perhaps a call, an email, a text or a Christmas card.  It likely could make all the difference in their world.

Merry Christmas.