The Gift - From Christmas Past

I struggle with insomnia.  I know it’s not healthy, especially for one who is up there in years; however, there is always a positive with a negative.  I might not be getting the rest I need but for some reason it’s then when my creative juices flow. 

One such winter night, I was staring at the Christmas tree and remembered  a particular Christmas overseas. We were living in Casablanca, Morocco, on an Air Force Base. I was in the third grade and not old enough to go Christmas shopping alone. Dad planned on taking my sister and me, but I was impatient (a character flaw I still struggle with!). The route home from school went through military housing. On the way home one afternoon, it was trash collection day, and one of the cans along the way did not have a lid. I peeked in and, lo and behold, discovered an ashtray. It was round with green paint and gold specks. I looked around, making sure no one was watching, reached in, grabbed it, and put it in my lunch box. Mom will love this, I thought. 

When I arrived home, I hid it under my mattress until I could sneak into the bathroom and make it look new. I washed that darned ashtray about a gazillion times until the paint shined and specks shimmered, all the while oblivious to the fact there was a crack on the unpainted bottom. I excitedly told my dad I didn't need to shop for mom, that I already had her gift, and told him what I had done. All he said was, "That's a really nice gift."

Christmas morning took forever to come. I sat, anxiously waiting for my mom to rip through a mound of paper and tape that could have wrapped a battleship (I still use too much.) She looked down at the ashtray, gently turned it over, then turned it back. She rubbed her hand against the sparkly green surface and smiled. She said it was beautiful and would cherish it forever, and she gave me a great big hug. My heart jumped with joy, knowing I had made her happy. I was confident she never suspected it was used or found in a trash can. That secret was between dad and me.

That was one of my favorite Christmas memories, especially upon finding out she was aware of the origin of the gift shortly after she opened it. She saw the crack on the bottom and mentioned it to my dad when I was out of earshot, and he told her what had transpired. It didn't matter to her ... she proudly displayed that ashtray for years. She never said anything to me until I was an adult. 

 Thinking about that Christmas brought me to tears, not just because this was one more without her and my dad, but because they loved me so much. Not only did they ignore the source of that green and gold ashtray, but they forgave the pain I caused them in later years when I took a detour to the darker side of life. I was in a garbage can too, but God, in His mercy, pulled me out - and He, along with mom and dad, helped me wash off and shine as if brand new.