The Battleground of the Mind and the 14 Rules of St. Ignatius Rule 6: Leaning into the Punch/What to do in Desolation

Audio Version: Here

Jacinta: Hello and welcome to Two Hearts True Healing! I am Jacinta Wick and with me is Angela Stansell. Last article we talked about what not to change during spiritual desolation. We also talked about dryness versus desolation. This article we talk about what we need to do more of in desolation. Angela, can you tell us the next rule?

Angela: Here we go! The sixth rule is: “Although in desolation we should not change our first proposals, it is very advantageous to change ourselves intensely against the desolation itself, as by insisting more upon prayer, meditation, upon much examination, and upon extending ourselves in some suitable way of doing penance.”

In our last episode, we focused on how we don’t want to change our spiritual commitments during spiritual desolation. It is “the time of the lie,” in other words, it’s not a time when God is going to speak to us about such changes. Rather, it’s a time when we are allowed to experience confusion and discouragement, among other things. God gives us those directions during spiritual consolation. With that being said, we are not called to wait passively for spiritual desolation to lift. It is not a cross we must simply bear. Those are the evils and suffering of our fallen world that have no immediate, virtuous solution. Nor is spiritual desolation the gift of the dark night of the soul, which is part of what is called God’s active will. We are called to act against spiritual desolation– intensely. We want to change the intensity of our prayer, mediation, examination, and penance. Let’s look at these one at a time.

The first one in the rule is prayer, specifically one of petition. If we want God to help us, since we can’t do it without Him, we need to ask Him! I have a quote from the book we’ve been using as our backbone for this season. It’s from pages 87 and 88 of The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living, written by Fr. Timothy Gallagher. He says:

As simple as this [prayer] may appear when expounded on the written page, the concrete reality in time of spiritual desolation may be very different. In the pain and distress of desolation, and when spiritual things have lost their sense of attraction, prayer may be far from our minds; and because we feel ourselves ‘as if separated from our Creator and Lord,’ the actual turning to God in prayer directly counters the sense of separation from God induced by spiritual desolation.

I think we’ve all been there. We’re maybe so upset we don’t care as much about the morality of our choices. Or maybe we’re having a weak moment of faith where we proudly tell ourselves that the Wisdom of God isn’t going to help us because we believe we’re permanently stuck. If we’re not feeling God, that lack of feeling is not going to change by stopping our prayer. It may take every ounce of strength we have, but it’s worth it.

I think something uplifting here is to remember what prayer is– our heart to God’s heart. He doesn’t need our words. He doesn’t expect us to fix ourselves first. He just wants us to turn towards Him internally, even if it’s a silent groan that expresses the heaviness or exhaustion. If approaching God directly is just too much, we have the most gentle, wise mother you could possibly imagine. We can collapse into her lap in imaginative prayer and pour our hearts out, asking for her to talk to her Son for us– as the queen of a kingdom is the king’s mother.

If you know there is lukewarmness mixed in with this desolation, you can tell Him that. Ask for Him to help you with your unbelief. You can talk to a saint, especially one who was known for once having disinterest and apathy towards the faith, like St. Augustine or even St. Ignatius. They know. They’re happy to pray for you! Let’s move on to meditation.

We want to develop a habit of meditation as a normal part of our faith life. When in spiritual desolation, we need to “double down” on it. We especially want to focus on the faithfulness of God’s love. This is where I really see significant overlap between discernment of spirits and cognitive behavioral therapy. If we use our God-given will to choose to mentally focus on God’s goodness and the times we’ve seen His action in our lives, we are choosing to flip on the lights, so to speak, and we begin to leave the darkness. “But Angela, I don’t have that kind of relationship with God. I don’t have all these memories to draw from.” To that I would say, ask God, humbly and honestly, to shed light on His action in your life, and then maybe write these things down to come back to when you need them. If you’ve been baptized, you already know that the door to heaven has been opened for you. He died for you, personally, and would have created the entire universe if only just for you. And the same goes for sending His only Son to be sacrificed for your sins– He would have done it even if just for you! You can learn about miracles and the lives of the saints. The Israelites of the Old Testament have an amazing story to tell in the book of Exodus. God freed them, parting the sea as their way out. There are so many examples of what God has done in scripture, Church history, and even the believers around you, if you ask them.

There are countless gateways to meditating on God’s goodness and love and faithfulness. God is ready to start wherever you want! All of the mysteries of the rosary are great ways to slow down and soak in the gospels. You don’t have to use the recommendation of certain mysteries on certain days of the week. You can go with whatever you’re ready for. The Holy Spirit will meet you there and carry you through your prayer. The Divine Mercy chaplet is a bit simpler and shorter, yet so powerful– reiterating fifty times that we need His mercy and lovingly remembering what it cost Him. Sacred art is another one. There are many films and shows that can also inspire us to meditate on God’s goodness.

Let’s move on to the phrase “much examination.” We examine in order to pinpoint when the change into spiritual desolation has taken place. Fr. Gallagher says in page 90 of his book that “at that moment it [the desolation] is stripped of much of its power, and …[the person] understands exactly how to reject it.”

Facing spiritual desolation will not happen on its own. Continuing on page 90, Fr. Gallagher says, “We must decide to face and examine the spiritual desolation. In a very real sense, it will appear easier and seem more welcome to find escape in diversion. At such times we may immerse ourselves in busyness, the media, or various gratifications of a more or less healthy nature; all of them, in this case, serve as a way to be ‘without’ when being ‘within’ seems too uncomfortable.”

So we can ask: What’s going on inside of me? When and why did it start? Is this spiritual desolation? How can I reject it? We’ll get into rejecting spiritual desolation in more detail in future episodes.

In this state of spiritual desolation, the idea of “name it to tame it” can really help. We might even benefit by not only slowing down to pray internally but also doing it with pen and paper. It takes humility and courage, and if we are prone to intense emotions, we may need to ask Jesus to help us regain a state of calm. I would argue that this examination can take some critical thinking at times, maybe not every time, but in order to do that, we need to be in our prefrontal cortex– the part of the brain responsible for creativity, problem solving, and empathy. The frontal lobe of the brain doesn’t get as much bloodflow when we’re not feeling safe, even if the only perceived threat is to our pride. Then the parts of our brain related more to survival become more activated. So if we can walk with Jesus in this– “Jesus, I trust in You.”... breathe…then your breathing slows your heart rate… We get rid of the shallow breathing that, say, a small animal might use so that a predator doesn’t see it move… Then sometimes we’re more ready to start asking ourselves those questions. If this is really challenging for you, I would suggest, in addition to having a quick, simple, go-to prayer, also to reach out to another sister or brother in Christ. You can sort of borrow their brain and borrow their faith, in a sense, for a bit. If this part is really grabbing you right now, you may also want to look for our episode on Rule 13, which talks about not remaining isolated from others in your spiritual desolation, because Satan often tries to divide and conquer.

Back to this “examination.” While it can take quite a bit of effort to resist an unhelpful momentum that has built up, if we can reflect a bit, as I mentioned, our troubles can be reduced a great deal. We stop feeling helpless and take back the faculties of our minds and wills. Let’s move on to penance.

St. Ignatius tells us to “extend ourselves in some suitable way of doing penance.” One way to explain this part of the rule is to look at what sin we may be tempted to commit, and reject it by practicing the opposite virtue. In his Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius says that if a person’s usual hour of prayer is difficult because of spiritual desolation, that person should not give in to the temptation to shorten the time, but even to extend the hour by a few minutes, with the goal of overthrowing the Enemy and using the situation to strengthen us. I’m reminded of a saying by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Of course, we’re talking about the person’s character, not the entire person, as our actions are not our identity. But the point is that there’s nothing like a difficult situation to train a person’s will. We are weak and fallen, and this is why God permits these things.

There are a few other examples Fr. Gallagher lists in his book. From page 92:

For one person it may simply be the delaying of an impulse toward self-indulgences; as hope grows through one small victory, the next is already prepared. For another it may be a smile when one feels little inclined to smile or to smile at this particular individual; it might be the choice to serve a person in need when this calls for patience, or the restraining of impatient words, or other steps of this nature. Each small act of resistance engenders further courage…and thus, step by step, the desolation is vanquished.

I really want to underscore that what is difficult for one person might not be for another, and that’s okay. We are many different parts in God’s plan that make up the body of the Church. If you are someone who thinks you may be dealing with spiritual desolation and depression, or you have been diagnosed with depression, or you just struggle with comparison in general, I want to encourage you to focus more on how God sees you. God knows how difficult something is for a person, and so when it may seem insignificant in the eyes of the world, He, as a perfect judge, is mercifully measuring your love by your effort, not necessarily by results. This is one way to think about “doing small things with great love.” He sees everything, knows you better than you know yourself, and He will always offer you the grace you need to do His will. Sometimes all we need to do is one virtuous act to reject desolation, and the path forward becomes much clearer.

So what happens when we increase the intensity of our prayer, meditation, reflection, and penance? From page ninety-three: “The courage is born at the point where God’s grace and human effort intersect.” The more we make use of these strategies to fight the Enemy, the more we become familiar with them. Then it is much harder for the Enemy to gain a foothold on our destiny.

Jacinta: When we are angered or feeling dry or have been in conflict with someone it is a natural thing to want to be separated. But this is where we must go against the grain. It’s no different in the spiritual life. In spiritual desolation, every bit of us wants to be angry and away from Our Lord when we feel dragged down. We want to be done and do nothing or revert to old patterns or we wonder if we are doing something wrong. This is where we must silently combat our feelings and do the exact opposite. How? Prayer. St. Ignatius brings us this first action to battle desolation. Why? It fights separation to the very core by digging deeper into where we want to be separated. It’s like digging in and laying the trenches so that our defenses are laid. It stops the enemy in his tracks. This digging in by prayer opens the door to the next step; examination. It is natural that when we feel blah we seek to fill this empty feeling with something. We try to divert our attention and do many trivial things. That place built only for God cannot be filled with anything else. The more we try to do this, the more empty we feel. So how does examination combat this? Because it looks at the roots. Why are we feeling this way? What are the causes for these feelings? Sometimes we might be feeling sad but at a closer look we may begin to see I am sad because this morning I was impatient with my beloved instead of gently loving him/her or I yelled at my girls/boys for a misbehavior versus a gentle firm redirection or other concrete measure. Maybe I’m feeling sad because I just lost someone very dear to me and so everything else is very colored by these feelings. Sorrow is similar to desolation but has many roots and reasons, some physical and others spiritual. The battle against sorrow is very similar to spiritual desolation.

I think it might help a great deal to talk briefly about the Dark Night of the Soul again. There are four movements in the spirit with the dark night, two active and two passive. This is not desolation. Desolation is from the enemy and the dark night is a gift from God. Maybe they feel similar but are not the same. The dark night is a purgation to further detach us from the things of the world, attachments, feelings, and memories to the things of heaven from God. We are going to look at the first two movements…the active and passive night of the senses. What is this? It is a dry emptiness. Things just don’t feel the same as they used to. Perhaps we’ve had a lot of consolations in prayer or we are set in a certain way of thinking or doing something and suddenly these things don’t give us the same pleasure. We need to practice awareness and examination to discern why we feel the way we do. Again dryness is not always desolation.

Spiritual desolation and Dark Night are two very different things. God will remove feelings so we are not attached to the gift as our own workings but to the Giver. He allows suffering so that we see that our senses and intellect are goods given and not just our own work. He may be inviting change from an active meditation on our part to a prayer of just being. In the dark night, we need to be open for a different course and not attached to our plan. A certain degree of perseverance is needed in both dark night and desolation…to stay the course and still be faithful. Showing up to our posts and keeping humility and faithfulness. The main difference is that desolation is an arid discouragement fed by lies of the enemy and dark night is an empty feeling that is purgation that happens before great spiritual growth. The similarity in feeling is that we can feel separated and dry. Desolation requires battle and dark night requires asceticism. Dark night is not to be overcome but lived, accepted, and assimilated. It requires leaning into our pain and not resisting it as a bad thing. Suffering is not a bad thing to be rejected like in Eastern religions but a profound truth to be embraced. St. Ignatius’ three points will also help in dark night. We will talk more on this. Let’s move on to the third piece.

The third and final piece that St. Ignatius brings to spiritual desolation is penance. But we must choose something suitable and doable. No loftiness. Be concrete and not extreme unless God is calling you to an extreme. For example, if I am struggling to not overeat, perhaps reaching for carrot sticks versus the chocolate or water versus that extra cup of coffee. We begin doing what we can do and go from there. St. Francis of Assisi has a great quote that fits right in here… “Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” It is very similar to when we are battling sorrow. We begin where we can. Like if I’m struggling to wake in the morning, getting out of bed and then making that bed. Then find yourself getting dressed and then brushing teeth and suddenly your day is started. That was a physical example but in the spiritual realm it is the same thing. Every penance is a little dart or arrow that resists the enemy and vanquishes him leaving him exposed and defenseless. It gives us courage and strength to stand firm. Standing firm brings me to the scripture I would like to walk you through. Go and get your bible and turn to Psalm 16.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” As for the saints in the land, they are the noble, in whom is all my delight. Those who choose another god multiply their sorrows; their libations of blood I will not pour out or take their names upon my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; yes, I have a goodly heritage. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also dwells secure. For you do not give me up to Sheol, or let your godly one see the Pit. You show me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy, in your right hand are pleasures for evermore. - Psalms 16:1-11

So many beautiful nuggets to pull from here. The Lord is my chosen portion and cup. You hold my lot. It is my firm, just decision to walk with the Lord because He is holding me. I shall not be moved and I keep before me the command of the Lord. I keep my body dwelling in security. Literally. When I feel the least twinge of desolation the first step, as Angela said, is to bring yourself back to a place of calm. Then the action part can begin to happen. My firm decision to keep the Lord at my right hand. We must trust that God will show us the path and promises to carry us in His right hand with goodliness. How? Choosing to let the little portions (blessings) fill us and sustain us until the Lord brings us to a different course. Praising Him and keeping our joy. Maintaining JOY. God will illuminate the path. This leaves room for God’s action in us.

Let me get really concrete. Usually the first thing to happen in desolation is a lie. Say for example that you just made a mistake. You might find your inner voice saying, “You are such an idiot! You never get it right! I always do this!” Whoa! Whoa! Did you hear that?! Would you say that to your friend who is struggling? Probably not. Then you shouldn’t be saying that to yourself. It is important to tell yourself the truth. Literally say this out loud. “Stop!” Then correct the lie. “I am intelligent and I am loved. I made a mistake but I am learning. Next time it will be easier.” Do you see the difference? You just took that lie and dug really deep and allowed your mind to reframe a difficult thing. Keep doing it. The deeper the lie the more important it is to start and keep saying the truth. Repeat the truth over and over every time you hear the lie. You may sound like a broken record but it is important to keep telling the truth because you will do what you believe in your heart so what is it that is in your heart?

What are some other truths I can tell myself every morning or in difficulty? Let’s say the self-condemnations are things like, “I’m a failure,” “I can’t,” “I’m no good,” or “I keep doing X” to “I cherish myself because God loves and cherishes me.” “I am loved.” “I made a mistake but that is okay. I am still learning. I can move on.” “ All things are possible through him who strengthens me.” When we are actively training our inner voice we are opening the door for our Lord to show Himself and to trust that He is going to allow good through the difficulty. This brings me to a final Psalm that demonstrates what this does in our souls.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff which the wind drives away. for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. - Psalms 1:1-4, 6

This brings me to a couple more things that will help the physical which will then in turn help the spiritual. What will help us be like the tree by the stream? Journaling is the first thing. This wakes up our left brain. Because when we are “feeling” we need another perspective and need to actively change our brain pathways and stop the fight and flight response. “How does this help?” you might be asking gentlemen. Because the hand motion wakes up our analytical side where you begin the processing part of your brain. The kinesthetic takes us from observation and taking in information to processing it. Basically it moves us out of our fight or flight and increases the blood flow from our lungs and chest to our brain instead and from this strengthened portion to the rest of our cells…

The other thing is color. If you are struggling with sorrow, desolation, or depression, take a hot shower and put yourself in some vibrant colors. Experiment with colors to find out what actually helps you in your environment. Whether that is in your choice of clothes or walls in one of your rooms or a walk in vibrant nature. Or another place that has brightly colored surroundings. (If it's winter, try the arboretum or a flower shop or aquarium.) Spending time outside also brings us into contact with phytoncides which are released by trees and are extremely good for you and also help brain health and are known to reduce stress and increase immunity. “Forest Bathing” is the fancy name for this.

Thank you so much for joining us. Next Saturday we will be having a prayer livestream at 3pm central standard time and are inviting you to join us. Send us your petitions before then at prayer@twoheartstruehealing.com. Otherwise reach out to us on our webpage at www.twoheartstruehealing.com or email us with feedback at twoheartstruehealing@outlook.com. We look forward to more time with you. May the Holy Family watch over you and guard you. Until next time, we are holding you.

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