How a Jeep Got Me Inside Church More Often
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National Catholic Register recently ran an article addressing a question about what to do when encountering a cross-dresser in church (see “How to Respond to the Cross-Dressing Man at Mass?,” National Catholic Register, Sept. 29, 2025).
Um … OK.
I don’t know what church the original inquirer attends, but I doubt many people at Catholic Masses regularly come across cross-dressers (once popularly labeled “transvestites,” before “transgender” became the more fashionable term) — but maybe things are different in the big city of Irondale, Ala. (where the newspaper’s parent, EWTN, is headquartered).
Although I’m unaware of having ever seen a cross-dresser in church, I think the tried-and-true Catholic response would be: “Love the sinner, but hate the sin” (it’s not complicated, is it?).
Thus, to the Register regarding its editorial judgment: The advice proffered seemed reasonable; but it was a slightly oddball topic, in my view (one not necessarily deserving of the more than 50 column inches devoted to it). So, next time, can you do: “What to Say to People Wearing Shorts and T-Shirts Emblazoned with Rock Stars or Sports-Team Logos When You Encounter Them in Church”? After all, isn’t that a more common transgression; and, therefore, wouldn’t suggestions be more relevant to your readership? (I think so.)
But I’ll save the paper the trouble by offering my advice: Avoid wearing shorts and ostentatious T-shirts to Mass (and consider “bumping up your game,” sartorially, a little).
Mind you, this recommendation comes from someone who: 1. Sometimes dresses casually for Mass; and 2. Was once quoted in a newspaper article about how much I detested neckties — trying my best to limit wearing them to only a couple times per year, on big occasions only (see “It’s in. It’s out. At last, your guide to necktie etiquette,” The Christian Science Monitor, July 19, 2006).
A couple decades ago, I stopped wearing ties all together to my daily office job at a local college. Around the same time, I had started adjunct teaching and discovered I liked what I called a casual “professorial” (as in: like a college professor) look, comprising a sport jacket over an open-collared dress shirt (with no tie). So, it became my “office uniform” for the better part of the next 20 years.
When I started serving as a church lector a few years ago, I thought the “professorial” look worked well for Mass, too. But lately, I’ve stepped up my game somewhat, on occasion, by donning a necktie(!). In addition to feeling it’s appropriate for both the setting and role, I’m also kind of hoping it might start catching on with other people (not limited to only my fellow lay orators).
To naysayers: Trust me, I already agree with you. I believe God will measure what’s in our hearts much more than he will render judgment over whatever we decide to wear to church on any given Sunday. Moreover, I’ve always loved — and have lived by — the spirit behind both Matthew 6: “As for clothes, why be concerned?… Stop worrying, then, over questions like … ‘What are we to wear?’ The unbelievers are always chasing after these things”; and Luke 12: “Life is more important than food and the body more than clothing.” Besides, I, too, don’t always “dress to the nines” for Mass (though you’ll never see me in shorts); and I sometimes wear comfortable sneakers (but not when I’m the lector) — particularly whenever I walk a few blocks to get to church.
So, from where did this sudden necktie-donning desire arise in someone who once detested ties? I cannot say for sure. But I recall one time (I was, perhaps, in my early 20s) when, after getting a DJ job at a local Top-40 radio station, I had a flashy new jacket emblazoned with the station’s name and call letters on the back and front. To my recollection, I was about to wear it to Mass, before my mom suggested it might be too flamboyant for church (that might not have been her actual word to describe the jacket; but she expressed reservation). All these years later, I honestly cannot recall if I heeded her concern or not. Either way, maybe a seed was planted that day about appropriate, modest attire for Mass (those seeds, as we know, sometimes can take months, years or even decades to sprout).
I think my change of heart today toward neckties also likely stems from my nature, generally, as somewhat of a nonconformist: I opposed necktie-wearing when more people wore them (possibly often just to impress others); but I’m now more open to them at a time when they’re donned by so few.
Do you think displaying one’s Catholic/Christian faith in today’s grossly secularized culture is a courageous expression of nonconformity? (I do.) Thus, even though some social ills (including “dressing down” everyplace) might be merely symptoms of greater cultural woes (rather than the problem itself), I hereby plant this seed: Be a nonconformist. Go against the grain. Take the counter-cultural narrow path by attending Mass regularly (maybe even beyond Sundays only); and, what the heck, sometimes even dress up a little for the occasion. After all, we Catholics already have the most beautiful churches in the world; so, why not strive to match their appeal by wearing our “Sunday best”?
Now, I’m decidedly not suggesting anyone should obsess over the clothing they choose to wear to Mass; however, ponder what a mother might advise. Foremost, respect God by revering the place. Plus, be mindful of those around you by considering what fellow worshipers might find befitting (or not) for church — and what could be distracting from the proper focus during Mass.
Ultimately, though, your presence in church is most valuable to your soul (whatever your clothing). Beyond that, Catholics and Christians are exhorted to go forth and plant seeds (as Paul and fellow disciples did). Others may water those seedlings; and, thankfully, “God … gives the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6–7).
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Addendum: I’m not the first — nor will I be the last — to opine about proper attire for Mass; so, here are a few additional perspectives I found on the topic on Catholic365:
Dress For Mass (May 28, 2015)
There’s a Dress Code in Canon Law? (June 19, 2024)
Getting More Out of Mass … (Aug. 3, 2025)
Michael Saffran (M.S. Rochester Institute of Technology) is a “cradle Catholic,” journalist, podcaster and writer. He attends, and serves as a lector at, St. Mary’s Church/St. Boniface Church (part of the Southeast Rochester Catholic Community), in Rochester, N.Y.
He is a semi-retired former college media instructor (and SUNY communication lecturer emeritus). He taught courses in broadcast journalism, media management, newswriting, radio/audio-media production, and public-relations writing. He also has worked as a media columnist, newspaper editor, public-relations specialist (healthcare and higher education) and radio broadcaster.
