How I found my Way to the Catholic Church

When first contacted about doing a talk at my parish some two years ago, which I believe subsequently lead to this invitation to put it in writing, my first inclination was to say “no”. Not because I wasn’t willing, but I thought, “I’m already too visible in the parish and school. I lector, I’m an extraordinary minister of the Eucharist, I’m with my family at school activities…no one wants to hear from me!” When I mentioned my trepidation, it was kindly and gently suggested to me that I think about it, reflect upon it and pray and I would arrive at the right decision.

During my week of contemplation, I called a parish friend and explained my predicament. I explained that I was uncomfortable, not because I wasn’t willing to speak, but because I couldn’t say anything that would be meaningful…anything that anyone of sound mind would want to hear. I didn’t really have a compelling tale of sin and redemption or some life changing event, I was very blessed, but a pretty normal guy. His answer to me was very simple and straightforward, “Your hesitancy is the Devil… and he’s speaking to you, leading you away from this responsibility. Saying ‘no’ is what the Devil wants; he doesn’t want you to have a chance of positively touching just one heart”. OK…I guess I got the answer I had sought…do the talk!

In August 1993, I was introduced on a blind date to my wife Stephanie. On our first date, learning that she was from Louisville, I didn’t think it important to ask about her family, her education, her interests, only if she was a Kentucky fan or, God forbid, a Louisville fan! When she indicated that she was definitely a Kentucky fan, I knew that at least I could ask her out on a second date! As time passed, it became it became very clear how important the Catholic Church was to Stephanie. She had been raised in a very Catholic home, attended 12 years of parochial school and ultimately had graduated from a Catholic university…she had a lot invested in her faith!

I, on the other hand, had been raised about a Protestant as you can get. Disciples of Christ Christian Church, choir, Bible school, the works, but I had always been left with a number of questions that were never answered. But with that said, my parents raised me with a true love and belief in Christ, and an understanding of the basic Christian principles by which to live. I knew a few Catholics and never really paid much attention to them. Everybody knew they had big families, made wine in their basements, ate fish on Fridays, cheered for Notre Dame and often had ethnic names, and grandparents that came from the “Old Country”, but I harbored none of the preconceived notions about Catholics that were around me as I grew up.

After our Catholic wedding, I began to regularly attend Mass with Stephanie. I suggested early on that we attend my old church or experiment with something like the Episcopal Church, but when that didn’t get much traction, I resigned myself to her way. After all, I had promised to raise our children Catholic, so maybe it was time to familiarize myself with this whole deal.

Very soon after becoming a “regular” at my parish. I got busy getting involved in the life of the Church, at least as much as a Protestant could. One of the very first activities I jumped into, and still remain active in, was the Lenten Fish Fry. New friends embraced me, welcomed my assistance, and made me feel an important part of this traditional Spring activity. At the same time, I joined my wife in supporting school activities and, as usual, whatever she told me to do. The warmth I felt from my new friends at my parish was special and, upon reflection, was very important in my journey toward the Church.

While settling into my pew at my parish, I began reading anything I could get my hands on regarding the Church and her teachings. From writings by current commentators like Patrick Madrid, George Weigel and Jimmie Akin, to Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI, but in retrospect the patristic fathers or earliest Church writers made the biggest impression on me. After contemplating their claims, I knew that Blessed John Cardinal Henry Newman had it right -  "To be deep in history is to cease to be Protestant." Armed with this gift of knowledge, I knew I had to become Catholic.

One of the things that has always amazed me about various converts is how, without any person leading them by the hand, they find the Church. For instance, I was fortunate to hear a talk given by Fr, Denis Robinson, President & Rector of St. Meinrad Seminary. During his comments, Fr. Robinson mentioned that he came from a Mississippi family steeped in Baptist tradition. Many of his immediate family and forefathers were ministers, theologians and educators. As you might think, I was curious how a person with his upbringing could have matriculated to the Church. At the end of the evening and while speaking with Father, I asked him about his conversion story. He informed me that he, like others had studied his way into the Church…at 13 years of age! Stunned, he went on to tell me he then converted his mother and father, at which time they were all ostracized from their larger family.

Adult converts like Richard John Neuhaus, Dr. Scott Hahn and others are a bit easier to explain, in these cases, because of their theological training and interest. Very often, however, when they learn the truth and beauty of the Church, they sacrifice their livelihoods in search of a way that they can more closely love and serve the Lord. My path to the Church has created an interest in me to be a better student of scripture, of Christian theology and servant, but I humbly realize that I am not intellectual or well-read enough to have discovered what God had in store for me. I was loved, but never pushed, by a loving spouse and the examples of others that identified the path for me.

As I reflect upon the time that I was not Catholic, a number of emotions, memories and inspirations come flooding back. One of the most difficult parts of the conversion process for me was telling my family what I intended to do and, to tell you the truth, it kept me from joining the Church earlier in my journey. I work in a family business and am around my Mother, Father and sister part of most every day. There was resentment when I married my Catholic wife, not because they disliked my wife, but because they were ignorant to the true meaning and positions of the Church and were frightened that I would be lost forever. Fortunately, in nearly 20 years, some of their angst has lifted. Two grandchildren and nephews, a successful marriage, and the relief that their brother or son do not have horns growing out of his head have likely greased the skids a great deal, but it hasn’t always been easy.

Regardless, of my worries with my family, the defining event in pushing me over the edge of the conversion cliff was the impending First Communion of my oldest son. Having grown up knowing families who were mixed religiously, I noticed that the children did not become Catholic or Protestant…they became lost from any faith. Even though I had not grown up Catholic, I had grown up loving and worshipping God and understanding his importance in everything I did. My children might someday become lost, but it would not be because their father could not go to communion with their mother.

Living the faith in our home is always a priority, but you don’t always have a measuring stick of how you’re doing. Recently, I was informed by a parent of a teammate of my son’s football team, that while in the locker room following a school football victory, my child informed the team in the room that they had something on their side that no other team in the league had and that was God, and with God, the team could accomplish great things. What do you know…maybe we are doing alright after all!

Becoming a convert to Catholicism as an adult is in itself a gift. Every decision that I made was a conscious decision, and not necessarily one that had been made for me. Throughout the process, for a time, I alienated my family which was difficult, particularly since I work with them each day, but it was certainly not a deal breaker. I understood my most important responsibility in life was to do my best to get my wife and children to heaven and the Catholic Church, I believed and still believe, gives me the best road map for doing that.

Brothers and sisters, we are in the best place…we are in Christ’s Church! We are here with our families, with our friends, and most importantly the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are blessed to be part of the Catholic Church, not because it is a place that we can come on Sundays to be entertained, but because it is a place that we can come each and every day to be fed the Body and Blood of Jesus.

I must have a bit of Lou Gehrig in me, for I often think about the most famous line from his fare  well speech at Yankee Stadium on July 4, 1939, “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth” and I add to that… I have a loving wife, healthy happy boys, and a business that supports my employees, their families, our community and, most importantly, a Savior who loves me just the way I am.

In closing, I would like to share a quote from a recent speech delivered by the Archbishop of Philadelphia, Charles Chaput, entitled “Disability: A Thread for Weaving Joy”.

 “The great Green Bay Packer theologian, Vince Lombardi, liked to say that real glory consists in getting knocked flat on the ground, again and again and again, and getting back up—just one more time than the other guy. That’s real glory. And there’s no better metaphor for the Christian life. Don’t give up. Our witness gives glory to God. Let’s be the best Catholics we can be. By our words and by our actions, let us be apostles to our friends and colleagues. Speak up for what we believe. Love the Church. Defend her teaching. Trust in God. Believe in the Gospel. And don’t be afraid. Fear is beneath our dignity as sons and daughters of the God of life.

Changing the course of American culture seems like such a huge task; so far beyond the reach of this gathering today.  Redeeming and converting a civilization has already been done once. It can be done again. But we need to understand that God is calling you and me to do it. He chose us. He calls us. He’s waiting, and now we need to answer Him.”