Why Can´t I be as Forgiving as Pope St John Paul and Nelson Mandela?

Forgiveness is a bedrock of our faith yet one of the most difficult things you can ask of anyone. Jesus´s last words included, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” Despite this, forgiveness goes against our natural instinct for revenge and retribution. It is only human to fail in this respect and I admit to being someone who finds this one of the most difficult of our Catholic goals to meet.

When I am most in doubt I look for examples of forgiveness and two outstanding ones always come to mind – Pope St John Paul and Nelson Mandela. Even then I doubt I have the strength that allowed them to pardon those had maltreated them.

When Pope John Paul was shot in 1981 by a Turkish Moslem called Mehmet Ali Agca he escaped death by a whisker. The gunman fired four bullets at close range, two of which hit the Pontiff. One shot to the stomach missed a major artery by a hair´s breadth and would have been fatal had it gone home. A five-hour operation saved the Pope´s life. He attributed his escape to the intercession of Our Lady of Fatima as the shooting occurred on the anniversary of her first apparition. Exactly a year later he traveled to Portugal and pressed one of the bullets that hit him into a crown on a statue of the Virgin Mary.

This was one sign of his gratitude but the Pope went further and publicly forgave Agca whom he visited in prison. He also called for him to be freed and in June 2000 the would-be assassin was pardoned by the Italian president and deported to Turkey. Now Agca was not some deluded fanatic or a mentally disturbed person but a cold blooded killer who had been convicted in Turkey for the murder of a journalist. The Pope must have known this yet believed Agca should be freed. How did the relatives of his first victim feel about this? How many of us would still have forgiven Agca knowing he was a convicted murderer?

My other example is Nelson Mandela although in his case he forgave a whole group of people rather than an individual. Mandela spent 27 years in prison because of his opposition to the apartheid system. When he was eventually freed he shook hands with the people who had oppressed him, sat down at a table with them and negotiated the creation of a new South Africa in which everyone would have the same rights. He made no attempt to stir up resentment or hatred against the former white oppressors among the black and colored population which had been so woefully mistreated.

If you ever visit the Waterfront complex in Cape Town you will see a sign of the reconciliation Mandel´s attitude brought - four life-sized statues (pictured above) honoring the men who ended apartheid, one of whom was actually a former leader of the white government, the state president F. W. de Klerk. Mandela and de Klerk later won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Mandela was a Christian – a Methodist – and it was the Christian message that allowed him to forgive. During his years of imprisonment he never lost his faith and attended religious services. In a review of “The Spiritual Mandela: Faith and Religion in the Life of Nelson Mandela” by Dennis Cruywagen, Jenni L. Shelton wrote, “Through community worship, Bible reading, and prayer, Mandela developed spiritually within prison, transforming into a person who became known for reconciliation and forgiveness rather than revenge.”*

While I admire the behavior of both these men I believe that this kind of forgiveness shown by them is simply beyond most of us no matter how pious we are and aim to be. I personally still have grave doubts over how far we should go in terms of forgiveness and whether forgiving those who have mistreated us is the easy way out for people who do not deserve it. When Jesus says “they know not what they do”, is this not a perfect excuse for the wrongdoer? Should forgiveness not be a two-way process in which the person who is forgiven shows the same courage and sincerity of the one who forgives?

*The Spiritual Mandela: Faith and Religion in the Life of Nelson Mandela Jenni L. Shelton https://engagedscholarship.csuohio.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1099&context=jtb#:~:text=Knowing%20that%20going%20public%20with,prison%20and%20during%20his%20presidency.