The Beauty of the Waiting

A couple of months ago I was the kind of person who would say to never pray for humility because God loves giving it to us. Now I find myself asking for it more and more. What changed you may ask? Well, I believe I am discovering what a gift humility actually is.
My understanding of humility was never that great. I mean I had the “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” That didn’t really help me very much because I didn’t see the difference. I knew it was bad to think little of myself, but I still did it. I was afraid of being prideful, so if I never gave myself credit and didn’t go searching for it then I was humble. This can develop into a low self-esteem, and the constant fight of giving yourself credit and being boastful. I never knew which was healthy, so I was constantly looking for this idea of humility, but thought it would always elude me. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered another definition for this elusive fruit of the Spirit.
I was told “Humility is knowing your limits. Your strengths and your weaknesses.” Now this was a definition I could work with! And it made sense to me because if I know my limits I know what I can and cannot do. To know how little I can do leads me to see how much God can do, so I become humble before Him. I learn that I can’t save others because that is not my job, I cannot be prideful because God is the only one that can save. If I really want to help others it is in humility that I acknowledge I can’t help them as much as my heart wants to. So, I guide them to the one that can.
It is in humility that I lead others to the Lord because I acknowledge my own humble nature and the awesome and saving power of God. It allows me to love truly love as I was intended to do, and as much as I want to. To want the betterment of the other over myself. I wish to rejoice in my Father lifting others up to holiness. For those who humble themselves will be exulted and those who exult themselves will be humbled. We all must experience humility; is it not better to humble yourself only to be lifted up by the Lord of all, the Lord who loves us?
In seeing how small I am and how great God is, I have come to love Him even more. And in loving Him more I have come to love others more. A love that is selfless and for the betterment of others. Now that original phrase makes sense. “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” To think less of myself is to say my Creator made a mistake, and I know that is not true. But it is in loving others because of the gift of humility that I am able to think of them and not me. Humility was never about me; it was about seeing Him and how wonderful He is. So I will always pray for humility because it allows me to see more clearly the One my heart longs for.