FORGIVE AND FORGET

FORGIVE AND FORGET?

Eileen Renders

That sounds like a tall order, forgive and forget. Indeed, it is, for when we store something in that part of our brain that conjures up a stressful, hurtful act toward us from someone we love and trusted, the very most we can do in time is to forgive. In forgiving, we are required to pray for them for hurting us, without remorse, without an apology. As God said on His Cross, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.

In praying for them, we are erasing those hateful, sinful thoughts of anger and resentment. We are able to feel good again about ourselves, and we hope that they may also learn from the lesson. For this type of loving, forgiving action, God is pleased with us.

We have forgiven someone who hurt us. And although we may not forget, the memory will not sting anymore. Are we then required to open our hearts and trust that this loved one will not hurt us again?  

Jesus said, “If you don’t love Me, you cannot come to Me.” Therefore, we do not need to open our arms, embrace the one who hurt us; we do not need to resume a relationship with that individual again.

However, this is a personal decision. If they come sincerely to you in apology, it is our choice to start anew with our friendship, or wish them well, and go forward without them. We can say, “I forgive you.” We can say, “I am not ready to resume, and I am not sure if I ever will be, but I do forgive you.” We are then able to feel good about ourselves, and to show love and mercy without putting ourselves in harm's way.