Feelings and Faith

9 years ago today I was on the operating table having a brain tumor removed. I was there for 9 hours......when I came out they stuck a tube into every orifice in my body they could find, kept me doped up on morphine, and pumped fluids through me for a few days. During that time some experiences happened that I will never, ever talk about, but I can guarantee happened. If folks want to say I'm full of it, have at it, couldn't care less. I've long since stopped caring about how anyone felt about me. But, I KNOW what happened. I also know that at 5AM one morning Fr. Jack came in and gave me annointing, or in the old days, last rites. Things have never really been the same.....it had even a bigger effect than the first time I recieved last rites in 1991, and that taught me a lot.

The point is this.....I see folks, too many, including many in my own parish, who have faith relegated to some sort of 'feel good' experience. We're all going to hold hands, sing campfire songs, and just sway and love each other. Talking 'nice' is more important than doing the right thing. It's all about feelings. The truth is vastly different. The truth is hard, it can be ugly, it can be brutal. Feelings mean nothing, absolutely nothing. Most know I am very devoted to Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin. The day of the presentation, when Simeon told her that her child would be a contradiction, the rise and fall of many, and then topped it off by stating that a sword would pierce her own soul was not a 'feel good' moment. Watching your son be brutalized, unjustly accused, and hung from a cross was not a real good feeling day. I think about Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane praying for God's will to be done, but, if there was a way out..... being whipped, beaten. a crown of thorns, and then nailed to a tree was not going to be a warm fuzzy day. But, God’s will was that it what it would take to square things up, and the result was more than worth it. This is what I try to get through to the kids at our Parish. If you expect things to always be warm and fuzzy, if you expect to sit around the campfire and sing love songs all day as the depth of your faith, you've got it all wrong. You will suffer, you will have to overlook some seedy things, you will have to accept flaws and look at the bigger picture. Those that look at everything through rose colored glasses will leave their faith, as there are those in clergy and above that will let them down. Those in leadership, both religious and civil, are flawed. But, look at the bigger picture, the bigger message. Forget your 'feelings', stop looking for the warm fuzzies, look at the message, and live your faith regardless of how you ‘feel’, or the feelings of others.

Trust God, trust His Mother, even if the road is rocky. It will be worth it. Count on it.