Philip Rivers Most Valuable Catholic

With all of the excitement that comes with a canonization ceremony one cannot help but ponder the thought, “Am I currently living among future Catholic saints?” The answer is most likely yes, but in the spirit of the 2016 NFL season I’d like to consider one man who has almost certainly earned his halo in his twelve years as a professional athlete. No this is not opening the case of Roger Staubach, but instead of Philip Rivers the ever faithful quarterback of the San Diego Chargers.

To begin this cause I will put to rest any potential skepticism by suggesting that if you are a divisional rival and thus think Philip Rivers deserves an extended stay on purgatory mountain, somewhere between pride and wrath, you friend are just a hater. I will also explain why you are fundamentally wrong, and that Mr. Rivers may be wearing a hair shirt under his shoulder pads as we speak. To set our feet on a firm foundation, let us consider the criteria the Vatican follows when opening a cause for sainthood. Among the required acts for canonization is two verified miracles and evidence of exemplary living. These can only be meted out after a thorough examination of the subject’s life.

So let us examine two almost certain miracles of our future Saint Rivers. This may be my favorite of weighty topics when examining the greatness of this humble soul. First, for anyone who has tuned in to watch this prolific quarterback, you might notice the odd delivery of our quarterback. With his wind up beginning under his ear it seems as though the man is chucking a shot put. Time and again one wonders where he goes for offseason training. Is he tossing watermelons as quick as he picks them to avoid the bumrush of his legion of children? Does he and his wife toss the diaper bag (or baby) in this fashion? How does he ever make a completion? Nonetheless the average fan is eternally awestruck by his velocity and throwing strength whilst also admiring his quirky delivery. This simple miracle of physics is undoubtedly pure fodder for any future devil’s advocate in the cause of our subject.

Next, consider the way he stacked record upon record during his 2015 campaign which left him throwing to teammates mostly held together by duct tape and bubblegum. A tribunal may retort, “he did not even make the playoffs” which is a fair assesment when investigating the cause of saints. However, consider Saint Peter who may be one of the best examples of the abounding grace that God shower’s on His faithful. Peter would often seemingly create new ways to fail and yet would be ever faithful to point of death. Very often, the most miraculous acts come from less than stellar avenues that the rest of the world may consider an abject failure. As the first leader of the new Christian church, Saint Peter is a testimony to God’s triumphs coming through actions the world often rejects. Therefore searching for miracles amidst a 4-12 season may be met with the jeers of a shallow examiner, but the humility and unequivocal team devotion of a man in these circumstances should inspire us all. Now for the sake of full disclosure, the Vatican has yet to weigh in on either of these two purported miracles.

Since we have crossed the miraculous off of the list, let us consider the ways in which Philip Rivers has lived exemplary. First consider how time and again he will lift his teammates to another level when he is playing among second and third string players as was the case in 2015. No one can enter the River’s vortex without their very skill levels being lifted by a notch or two. A common activity among saints is to lift the ordinary to the level of extraordinary. Next, have you ever seen another professional athlete in a pre-game photo with nuns? This is clearly a man of humility. A search of his name will bear the fruits of such adverbs as dedication, faithfulness, and humility. Just as well, aside from life on the field, Mr. Rivers also spends time promoting the Catholic faith and living according to it’s teachings. This fact alone might be met with near certain consideration for sainthood just by virtue of his career. One can almost say this man’s cause writes itself!

To conclude, I have presented two obvious miracles and many qualifiers of exemplary living. The man may be no Saint Teresa of Calcutta, as the saying goes, but his throwing mechanics alone suggest he has some divine help-- possibly by angels-- on the football field. He practically has to remove his halo before even putting on his helmet. He is an upstanding member of the church, faithful to his team and his family, and has selflessly lifted the play of many ungrateful fantasy football owners. And he does this all without demand for acknowledging his greatness. He is humble amongst the humble and great amongst the great. Which is why, during my investigation, I have decided that Philip Rivers is not only one of many future Catholic saints, but he may very well be America’s Most Valuable Catholic.