Numbering your days: How grief paints a new perspective on life
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I know that motherhood is sacred because womanhood is divinely sacred. Without it, millions of Christians and Catholics would not be speaking about Jesus who was formed in the womb of our Blessed Mother.
God created such an intricate being when he created Eve from the flesh and bones of Adam. How God is continually refining me in this chapter of my life is through the depths of my first pregnancy and the news of my child potentially having a life-limiting diagnosis called Edward’s Syndrome.
I type those words but only God knows how grief, agony and despair were paired with the remarkable beauty that is being co-creators of life. The mystery of life is exemplified through the experience of carrying a child in one’s womb. For me, and for many women I have met along this journey, that experience is a double-edged sword: progress met with potential devastation, for at any moment, even without reason, a child may be called to heaven.
I learned that pregnancy cannot be simplified to the often glorified tales that society likes to portray, that just because you are pregnant does not mean you will ultimately come home with a living child. This is not to downcast the joy that comes with bringing a healthy, living child into this world because I know God wills for both truths.
God loves the healthy child and family as much as the bereaved mother and father with their baby in heaven. It is often thought that somehow losing a child is a punishment, or is because we are not deserving. But I want to counter that lie with truth, and cast that idea onto the cross itself: you are loved, wanted and not cursed, but chosen and blessed.
It is safe to say that during pregnancy I associated my experience like the women whose faith believed if they just touched Jesus’ cloak, they would be healed. Day after day, I called upon the saints to intercede for me and my daughter. I asked the Blessed Mother to care for us and for St. Anne to watch over us. So much so, I’m sure the saints were over hearing from me!
So it was absolutely wonderful this past May to find out that the Magnificat shared stories of saints who were mothers throughout the ages. How triumphant were these women and also how tragic were some of their experiences. Reading about their stories reminded me how we truly do not walk this journey alone, especially as women and the trials we face now.
May we be strengthened in our faith during our trials like Blessed Margaret Ball, who was born in a village in Ireland and gave birth to 10 children, although only five survived to adulthood. During that time, Catholic Masses were illegal and priests were arrested and even executed. Margaret never renounced her faith into her martyrdom.
Or St. Marie-Marguérite d’Youville who was born in Canada, lost her father at the age of seven, got married at 21, but later discovered her husband was unfaithful. She buried four of her children while supporting her two surviving sons. Her selflessness and charity helped to start a religious order.
May we find courage like St. Perpetua. During the time of Christian persecution in Tunisia, Perpetua was 22 when she was imprisoned not too long after bearing a child. She wrote about the time in jail as dark, hot and filled with moments being mistreated by soldiers. Nothing compared to being without her baby, until they finally allowed her to reunite.
The phrase “I can’t imagine” has been said to me countless times. Yet, here I say the same words to these saints who were mothers.
As a new mother, I find solace knowing that we can also find hope by embracing the cross of Christ, even through the death of a child, miscarriages or mistreatment. May the sacrifices and blessings of motherhood transform the world and lead both mothers and their children to heaven.
Please join me in asking for the saintly intercession of our mother saints and our Blessed Mother.
St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine
St. Gianna Molla
St. Zelie
St. Zita
St. Perpetua
St. Marie-Marguérite d’Youville
St. Anne, mother of our Blessed Mother
Blessed Margaret Ball
Blessed Margaret Pole
Blessed Concepción Cabrera de Armida
Mother Mary.
Pray for us.
Melissa Enaje is an award-winning print and multimedia journalist who spent nearly six years as a youth editor, general assignment reporter and host for various Catholic media outlets including The Tablet Newspaper in the Diocese of Brooklyn, New York; America Magazine; Catholic News Service; and also worked as a digital content producer for the daily Catholic newscast Currents News. As a newly-bereaved mother, her faith has been the pinnacle to her strength and she humbly uses her gifts to advocate for the intersection of maternal rights and protecting the vulnerable. She offers a fresh perspective on what it means to be a Catholic working woman, wife and mother in the world through her platform The M Report.
