The Couple That Prays Together, Stays Together.

We've heard the famous quote by Fr. Patrick Peyton, "The family that prays together, stays together." However, so true is it that when a couple prays together, they strengthen the marital bond in a very unique way. I think of Sts. Louie and Zelie Martin, parents of St. Therese of Liseux and Servant of God Leonie Martin, who most likely not only prayed with their children as a family, but prayed together as a couple around the dinner table or wherever they considered their prayer space. So on or near this holy couple and their feast day in July, I would like to share with you three tips that I have personally found to work.

1) DO Set a Time To Pray Together

This one is the first key and probably the most important. When wanting to set any prayer schedule, the beginning step is to esablish when you are going to pray. Whether you are a morning riser or night owl, seek out that prayer time and stick with it. A personal recommendation, even if this is hard for you both: seek out the first of the day, no matter what that looks like. We are called to give our "firstfruits" to the Lord. That means giving our best. If you both work early shifts or overnight, set aside time to plan a prayer time together. Planning to pray is just as important as prayer itself.

2) DO Try the Rosary

This spiritual weapon, which was handed on by Our Lady to St. Dominic to combat the Albengensian heresy, can be used to combat the heresy of not praying as a couple, or what I would call "antipietism". Antipietism can rigtly be defined as thinking both God is going to answer you even if you don't pray and that God hears everything, so we shouldn't worry about prayer. Nothing could be farther from the truth. To pray is to not change God's heart, but to change ours (as St. Augustine put it better than I could ever say; this is just a paraphrase). When we pray, we open ourselves up to the will of God. Imagine then, when praying as a couple, the doubled power of prayer with two people seeking the will of God. Now, imagine further that we pray the Psalter of Our Lady, that was literally commissioned by Heaven for us to pray in the Latin Tradition. If you are part of the Eastern Christian traditions,  I would recommend any prayers to the Theotokos, just make sure to seek out your spiritual father/director, no matter if you are Latin or Eastern in tradition.

3) DO Speak In Your Own Words

We need to also pray, in this particular case of two people praying, in our own words. Now, I don't mean praying the revival "heebity heebity in tongues" prayer that can scare the pants off of any believer who is seeking after God (I don't believe that is from the Spirit, but a psychological manifestation of our own mind). What I mean is the true and discerned urgings of the Holy Spirit. Maybe today in the morning you pray for your kids and then each other, then the next time you pray for a particular intention and then yourselves. The key is to make sure, even in your own words, to not forget each other in your prayers.

In conclusion, make sure to follow these minimal steps. I can guarantee you that you may not be like St. Louis and Zelie Martin the first day in prayer. I will guarantee you this, if you seek personal holiness as a couple, you will be no other saints but your own.