Our Father!

March 13, 2013: Knowing Father of the Church

Hurray ! We have a Pope! With it, began my relationship with him which I never had before. Ever since he became known to the world, I oddly sense his every heartbeat and read his every thought, in his every tweet, in his every post, in his every act. With it, I began to know the Father of Catholic Church. With it, I realized that I experience and adore him as my father whom I was unknowingly missing until now. His every act of hug, visit, smile and acceptance beyond walls, made sense and it made me experience the love of the father of the universal church.

Jun 21, 2015: First encounter with my dead father

I am usually in conversation with God 24*7 . I felt God telling me to visit my father's grave. I never visit graves and I don't like to attend funerals. While i was still questioning God and trying to go back to my house after Mass, people kept blocking my path thereby forcing me to move my steps aside towards the grave. I was now just a few steps away from my dad's grave. I said 'ok i will go'. I spent few minutes in silence with my dad. I made a short prayer for his soul. Only few minutes back, someone told me that it's Father's Day .

Jun 21, 2016: A new relationship with my dead father

I've been visiting father's grave every day since April 2016. I am fortunate that I get to talk to him by his grave. I hardly got to see him or be with him during his lifetime and probably for the same reason, I never remembered him earlier. He was a stranger to me in many ways, absent in my life. But all my few moments with him were that of joy, something that I feel content and thankful for. But in the last one year, a lot of things changed in my life. I felt very strongly that my dad was not at rest, he was connecting to me desperately. I did not understand, after he was dead, and also that I am not interested, why this force was urging me to visit him. A series of events happened but I did not budge to connect with him. I was not hurt or angry with him. I just did not know him well enough and I really don't care when people die, because I do not believe in death. I always think people are still living after death. So I do not exactly feel sad.

But Pope Francis hit the final nail this year in the 14 acts of mercy that he challenged everyone to practice. One act said 'Visit the dead'. I gave in and started looking into the matter. The first thing I wanted to know from God was 'God , where is my dad right now? Why is he so much at unrest? Is he in some pain? Please connect me to him". It was then I had my first meaningful conversation with my dad. I spoke to him a lot. I understand his sacrifices and challenges only now. I understand his love better only now. I make special prayers for him to God. I try to help my dad feel peace, love and be at rest. I teach him to praise, love and worship Jesus. I even made a special request to Jesus to give dad a moment next to him on his throne. I sense that dad has a lot more peace now. I sense he is without pain now. All is well now. The force that disturbed me earlier no longer exists. If I move to another place, far away from my dad's grave, I think I will miss him because that is where I met him, that is where I spoke to him, that is where I knew that I had a dad.

Present day: Aug 4, 2016: Meeting Father in Heaven

I wanted to write about the above mentioned experiences a lot earlier in my blog. I thought maybe the Lord is telling me to write about how I came close to the dead especially when I did not believe in death. I scribbled something, but it felt incomplete. With these experiences continuing over past few months, I thought maybe, I should be blogging on my dad. But the blog did not still seem complete as yet. Something was missing. What was the Lord directing me to through these experiences if not about the dead, if not about my dad? Until last month, when something happened. I was doing my personal praise and worship and at the end of it, I was lying prostrate before God in worship. I was all alone, deeply sad and my heart was very heavy, so much so I was finding it difficult to bear. I don't like crying but I wanted to cry. It was in this state, I felt an 'all encompassing soothing hug' that made my heart at ease. I immediately wondered who it was and what really happened. It was not my dad. It was not Jesus. It was Our Father in heaven. I could sense him saying 'It's me. Your Father in heaven". I was taken by surprise. This was my first personal encounter with Our Father. The whole experience made me feel at ease and made me know Him. In my whole Christian life, I have spoken to Jesus and Holy Spirit in more personal ways than I have spoken to Our Father in Heaven. The only key prayer which was recited by me, was the 'Our Father' prayer. In the past, I never knew my dad, as well as I never knew my Father in heaven. They were there, and there was a mild connection between us though. I post this experience, I felt that there was a link in God first getting me closer to the Pope, then to my dad whom I loved, but was not close to, and then He brought me closer to Himself, whom I knew in theory but not loved or experienced Him in proper way.

After all these experiences, I am in love with the Pope, my dad and Our Father. What a lovely relationship has began. Where these experiences are leading me to, I know not. But many a times, I am able to run that particular experience in my mind, my first personal encounter with Our Father in heaven. I keep telling myself ' What really happened was awesome'. My mind tells me 'it was a real experience, never forget it'. I tell my mind 'How can I forget the experience.? It was real' It's the awesomeness of togetherness between the Father and His Church, living and the dead, between the created and the Creator, between the child and his dad, between the son and His Father. The connection seems seamless.

I post this because I felt we hear and speak a lot about Jesus in our Mass sermons and various other places. We see a renewal movement and even probably have experienced the Holy Spirit. But I wonder, when will the faithful experience Our Father. When will we see our preachers and priests talking about who Our Father is. Do they have a relationship with Him? Do you have a relationship with your Father in Heaven? Very soon I found myself in library and was keenly searching a book which emphasized on 'Abba, Father'. I wanted to know him more. This time around, I could relate to the author because I had an experience. I had met Him just the other day.

Yes, we are all children of the same Father. Our Father in Heaven. Our Father is a creator who created us all. Jesus revealed His personality to us when he said 'Our Father in heaven', which means he is like our dad. A real awesome dad. The best dad of us all. To know my Father, I probably had to know my dad first. And maybe that is why I went through this experience over a year.

I feel like a new being, being in relationship with the Holy Trinity. It seems an awesome elevation in coming closer to God. It feels complete to know Him. I think this new level of Sprituality will lead to a better version of me. For me, my problems on earth and His presence and relationship with me are two different things, no longer connected to each other. I am presently an older person bound in my imperfections as well as I am a newer person bound with my perfect God. The old is giving way to the new. The son is yielding to the Father. The created is yearning for the Creator. Body has become more immaterial and older but my soul has got a new life and it's on its path to be eternal.

Fatherhood

Fatherhood is so sacred at every level and no wonder it hurts when it leads to hurting children of God. Look beyond the imperfections of your dad and begin to love him for the good that he is, for who he is to you, for God wants us to love our dad, to love our parents. More than often, we never know what made our dad, the way he is and we still judge him. Be merciful to your dad. More than often, we wonder if Father in heaven exists with so much problems on earth. Let's understand our dad. Let's believe in our Father's redemptive power. Be a father figure to someone who has none so that they know what dad's redemptive nature is made of. When you are healed with your dad and when you can see good in your dad, you will understand our Father in heaven much better. You will expereince Him more closely. You will realize that He loved you so much, that He sent Jesus, that he sent the Holy Spirit. You will know that not only he is the Creator of this universe but He is the master of love. Our Father's love for you is eternal, unchanging. Love is what Our Father is. Love is what our God is. Let's lose ourselves in His love and let's welcome orphans into our lives. Let's extend the chain of fatherhood, from the heavens, to the churches, to the homes, to the homeless. Let's be Godparents, especially to the orphans and rejected. Let's fostercare them. Let's be sincere committed family to them and lead them to experience God, now and forever. Let's associate with the physical things of the earth only from the realm of spiritual dimension. Neither sickness, unemployment, failed relationships, hurts, bankruptcy, hunger, fears take our thoughts, senses and vision from God and His purpose from the time He created the world, til the time we are with Him. We are all but one family and God is our one Holy Eternal Merciful Forgiving Father.

Let's begin a new relationship with Our Father in Heaven. Let's initiate and practice holy fatherhood. Let's spread the love of family, here on earth and connect with our family, now and forever in heaven.

What a 'yet an another' coincidence that when I finally managed to close this article, I realized that it's Father's day yet again. I'ts St. John Marie Vianney feast today, the patron of all parish priests whom we call father.