Getting Ready To Leave

Some of my education is business equivalent over long careers. This causes a need for me to stick up for myself. I suppose this may come across as: brave, selfish, defiant, impatient, illogical, haughty at best, over confident, bossy, bold, funny, flippant and in your face. These might be true at times, as everyone has their moments. However, mostly it's an affect of a polymath lifestyle. This brings me to Saint Benedict's Ladder on Humility, part of doing my best in my state in life as a secular Oblate.
The ladder is a wonderful practice. Starts at the bottom going up. (Descending in a Benedictine ladder would be like the path that doesn't lead to Heaven. Basically opposites of each rung going backwards or backsliding.). Climbing the rungs of the ladder seemed too much for me. Haven't memorized it yet, but tried and am still working on it.
My “key” to start however is thinking of the rungs in a spiritual way, similar to Jacob’s Ladder. For example, as in the monks look ‘externally’ on the ground, this means for me to spiritually keep my eyes on the Lord. The first rung is also the beginning of wisdom:
1. Fear of the Lord.
2. Renouncing self will.
3. Obedience to Superior (as Christ was.)
4. Patience in difficulties, this includes silence.
5. Self revelation of evil thoughts.
6. Contentment with the least.
7. Awareness of our liabilities.
8. Avoid seeking yourself – seek God.
9. Restraint of speech, silence.
10. Avoidance of laughter.
11. Gravity of speech.
12. Externally gaze on the ground.
Trying to do the best I can on this makes it a part of my life. Hopefully, some of my past experiences were practiced in a way that helps the climb. This is a life long conversion. Climbing up the ladder toward growth in humility and love. Give it a try?
Thanks to the Rule of St. Benedict and his Ladder. Also my further research reading Humility by Fr. Hugh Feiss, OSB.