A Timely Reminder for the Laity: Catholic Teaching on Love, Sexuality, and Our Common Call to Chastity

In case you have not been around since the mid-1960s, here is the news: our culture talks a lot about sex. One can easily assert that it is sexually saturated. If you have difficulty fathoming this, speak to parents who are trying to raise their children in a society that hardly reinforces modesty or other displays of morality that were once taken for granted. But how much does mainstream society discuss sex beyond feelings or basic biological animation? How frequently is modern society permitted to consider, let alone assert, the complementary physiological nature of man and woman – of husband and wife – as alluded to within the broader context of our existence? Within a sacramental framework, we must recall Pope Francis’s reminder that “marriage and the family are in crisis.”

What can the Catholic Church contribute to this dialogue? Of course, it has much to share. To begin, we must distinguish between the occasionally confused terms of abstinence, celibacy, and chastity. In elementary terms, abstinence is saving sex for marriage, or stopping sexual activity if you have already begun (yes, Jesus welcomes u-turns; after all, it is why he came: “I have not come to call the righteous to repentance, but sinners” [Luke 5:32]). Moving along, celibacy involves living a vocation other than marriage that therefore inherently implies no sexual activity, since sexual acts are reserved for a husband and wife within the bounds of sacramental marriage. Lastly, our key point: chastity. Chastity is that to which we are all called, no matter our state in life, because it signifies abiding by norms of sexual morality. You can read the Church’s more extensive teachings on chastity in the Catechism of the Catholic Church’s paragraphs 2337-2359, under the heading “The Vocation to Chastity.”

Ultimately, everyone is called to chastity. If someone is single and seeking marriage, the call is to chastity by way of abstinence. If someone is a cleric or in religious life, the call is to chastity by way of celibacy. And within marriage, the husband and the wife are called to chastity by remaining faithful to each other and ensuring that nothing is put in place to prevent openness to life. What an excellent reminder as we recognize the USCCB’s annual celebration of National [Natural Family Planning] Awareness Week (July 24-30, 2016). Yet, why does the Church seem so uptight? Why the excessive prudishness? Perhaps it is neither; rather, the matter is two-thousand years of Catholic teachings on human sexuality that are reflective of Jesus’ affirmations in Matthew 19:1-12 (cf. Mark 10:1-12).

As one example of various of how the Catholic Church has our best interests at heart regarding what should be an overt awareness of the tenets of chastity, we should recall Blessed Pope Paul VI’s watershed encyclical Humanae Vitae (1968), from whose foresight we continue to witness the sociological and societal effects of a culture that disregards sexual norms under the guise of “freedom,” which actually turns out to be “slavery” to sin (see John 8:34). Nevertheless, we are hardly without hope, for we must merely go back two verses to recall Jesus’ reminder that “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

Standing up to the prevailing notions lauding permissiveness as one of the lone remaining quasi-deities, there are many prominent forces throughout the global Church leading the charge against an anything-goes mentality. However, the bishops and clergy cannot be expected to be the sole voice promoting a right and charitable embrace of Christ’s teachings regarding marriage and sexuality. Interestingly, many laypersons are leading this charge. In fact, there are fortunately far too many to name here, but some include Nigerian-born Obianuju Ekeocha and her leadership of Culture of Life Africa, American Christopher West and his work furthering the “Theology of the Body” begun by St. Pope John Paul II, and the Couple to Couple League International. Catholic publishers, such as Ave Maria Press (for whom I consult and write) have produced an array of titles that further a healthy understanding of the Church’s teachings on marriage, including Dawn Eden’s The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On (2015) and Arleen Spenceley’s Chastity Is for Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin (2014).

Proclaiming chastity in the twenty-first century is counter-cultural. On that note, what saint ever went along with prevailing cultural norms? After all, in this epoch when conceptualizations of love and lust are unfortunately practically intermingled, and occasional demagogues are quick to offer – fortunately considerably – that “God is love” (1 John 4:8), let us recall the measure by which we demonstrate our love to God foremost, and our neighbor (necessarily including spousal conjugal love) thereafter. This comes in the form of abiding by Christ's expectation: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).