Church Ladies: We Put the Church in the Lady and the Lady in the Church
Tongue-Tied? Why That Might Be A Good Thing
Photo Courtesy: Andree Ory
In a favorite line of a favorite movie of mine, Sense and Sensibility, the mother tells her daughter: “Hush, please. That is enough, Margaret. If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say, you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.” This line has me dying laughing, every time.
I think if we are honest with ourselves, all of us can or may relate to the daughter’s inability to control her tongue or refrain from simply filling the awkward silence at some point or another.
At least for me, controlling my tongue can be a hard thing to do. If I want to practice more prudence in speech, I have to pray for the grace. God gives us graces and even particular virtues when we ask for them. However, we need to practice them little by little.
I was talking to a mentor of mine recently about this very topic, when a passage from St. James popped into my head. They are quite relevant and goes like this:
“If anyone does not fall short in speech, he is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body also" (James 3:2).
That’s nice James, we might think, but what does the phrase “fall short in speech" mean, exactly? If you are very out-going, you might take this perfection business and send it to the wind. You might think, “There go my chances of being perfect.”
If we are quiet, we might become haughty one-uppers who say, “At least that’s one more thing I got right.”
What is James really saying, though? He uses a metaphor to explain:
“If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide their whole bodies.
It is the same with ships: even though they are so large and driven by fierce winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination wishes.
In the same way the tongue is a small member and yet has great pretensions. Consider how small a fire can set a huge forest ablaze. The tongue is also a fire….” (James 3:3-6).
In other words, a quick way to attain spiritual perfection that is deceptively simple is to control the tongue, which brings “blessing” or “cursing” (James 3:10).
Like the Serenity Prayer states in other ways, control over self-is a one-person, inside job. It starts with me controlling my tongue.
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About the Author
Andree graduated with her master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling from Our Lady of Holy Cross College. At Holy Cross, she was the secretary of the Association of Graduate Students in Counseling and a member of Chi Sigma Iota, an International Honor Society forcounselors, counselor educators, and students. She joined the team at Crescent City Counseling until April of 2016. She completed her internship at Catholic Counseling Service, a ministry of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. Her undergraduate degree is from the University of Dallas, with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Interdisciplinary Studies: English Language Arts 6-8th.
