Christ, Our Redeemer

As I knelt down at a pew during Adoration, I found my mind wandering everywhere. 

 “Hmmm, I’m hungry … What’s for dinner?”, “Oh, I just remembered this story I love … it was really cool how they did that”, “these pews aren’t comfy, I wish they had cushions…”,  the thoughts came and went. When I realized these thoughts I prayed, “Oh, I’m sorry Lord. I, I got distracted. I know you’re here but I can’t focus, please help me focus on you.” I closed my eyes while saying this prayer. When I opened them, I was elsewhere.

I tried to shift my feet yet found myself held in place by two metal chains on my ankles and two on my wrists. I was stuck, kneeling on the cold cement floor. Suddenly, I felt a rock hit my face and saw it fall as it dripped with blood. Hundreds of voices jeered, mocked, and condemned me. The voice of all those I have wronged, failed to help, or led astray called for my judgement. The judge stared at me with a saddened expression as my crimes are written and numbered for all to see. 

“How do you plead?” the judge asks me. I open my mouth to speak, yet I could not utter a sound. He raises His gavel saying, “I find you…” and I close my eyes, terribly afraid without any excuse or defense. 

“Stop.” I hear a strangely warm voice say. I open my eyes to find myself in someone’s shadow. “I will pay for his crimes. What is his punishment?” “THE DEATH PENALTY!” the crowd yells while trying to stone me. 

The man turned to look at me and knelt in front of me. He smiled and caressed my cheek. “Do not worry,” He whispered tenderly as a tear fell from His face.

He then stood and said, “I will give my life for him.” And so it was. They quickly chained Him and beat him mercilessly. He was blindfolded and thrashed. They laughed while mockingly asking him, “Who hit you?” As he was being dragged away, the man looked at me. His face was swollen, yet I was able to read the words on His lips: “Go, and sin no more.”

A black sack was placed on my head. 

As I opened my eyes, I found myself kneeling in front of the monstrance. I lifted my gaze to see the consecrated host, and it was there I saw Him, the stranger who took my punishment. The one who smiled at me as tears and blood streamed down His face. The man who I had failed to recognize, one who had no reason to do what He did. As I stared at the host, I saw Him being lifted up. He said to me, “Go in peace, my child. I love you.”

Those were His words to me as He was on the cross. His crucifixion. My Lord, My God. My Lord, My God. My Lord, my God. My lord, my God, oh how I have forsaken you. Thank you for opening my eyes.