My Awesome Experience with Confession

For those who know me now, I am a frequent confession goer (if that is even a correct phrase). But I was not always so diligent and I was afraid and concerned about the priest and interacting with him afterwards (since I just told him what a horrible person I am) and being totally open and honest in the sacrament when confessing my sins. A recent experience has not only confirmed my frequent reception of this awesome and cleansing sacrament but also reaffirmed that this is so necessary and many, maybe all of our priests will do whatever they can so that we can receive this sacrament and its absolution.

I realized that I had committed a mortal sin (I wasn’t sure if it was but after referencing the Bible and a couple Internet resources, I had determined that it was in fact a mortal sin). I, being the person I am, knew that I couldn’t receive the Eucharist until I went to confession. I missed the regularly scheduled one due to commitments with our children and the next scheduled one was days away. Normally, I would just have waited and not gone to daily Mass. But I was having Friday’s Mass said for a neighbor’s husband whose had died recently. I needed to go to that Mass.

So, I contacted one of our priests (with whom I usually see for confession sometimes by appointment, other times by chance at regularly scheduled confessions) and explained that I needed confession before Friday. He said no problem and we set a time. I got to the church a couple minutes before we were supposed to meet to gather my thoughts and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit. As I was praying, I began to sob uncontrollably thinking about what I had done that brought me to be this desperate to need confession.

The priest walks in to the church and asks if I wanted to meet in the confessional since I was sitting in the front pew. I looked up and he could see that I was crying. I nodded no as I was unable to speak. He then asked if I wanted to meet and talk where I was seated. I nodded no. I was so upset with myself and what I did that I almost did not receive the sacrament. I was finally able to speak and said, “I’m sorry but I can’t do this” and got up to leave. In his typical calm voice, he said, “I have to lock up the church so you just sit and relax and when you are ready, I will be here.”

Well, as you can guess, he locked up the church and he sat down next to me with his stole on. I knew what was going to happen next but I still wasn’t sure if I could do it. He began, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” I made the Sign of the Cross but was unable to speak with him as I was still sobbing. But he didn’t give up. I said again, “I just cannot do this right now.” He said gently, “You would not have come here if you didn’t want to be forgiven. I will wait and when you are ready, I am here.” And he patiently waited until I was able to compose myself (and it took a bit) and we continued with this beautiful sacrament and I was able to not only be forgiven but, in listening to him as he spoke after I confessed my sins, I learned that I needed to forgive myself. I had to thank him at a later time as I was still a bit weepy when I left but I can tell you this – I physically felt the weight off my body when I left the church and emotionally, I was in a much better place because I went to confession.

So please do not let embarrassment, shame, pride, fear or any other emotion (which is the devil keeping you away from reconciling with God) keep you from receiving this beautiful sacrament.