I Encountered Temptation

I encountered temptation.

I might say that I don’t know why this vision came to me at that time. But I do know. The Holy Spirit guided me! Thanks be to God!

I thought I would share it with you, hoping that it will work as well for those readers old enough to recall the scene. If you’re not quite that old, ponder these things in your heart.

The place is the parish church where I grew up. The time is around my twelfth birthday. I am an altar boy, innocent – maybe even naïve. I am kneeling on the bottom of the three steps that lead up to the altar. The priest is saying prayers in Latin, and I am babbling back to him in Latin. Mostly, I don’t know what I am saying.

Yes, I own a copy of  the Saint Joseph Daily Missal; doesn’t every  good Catholic have one – especially holy 12-year-old altar boys? On facing pages it has Latin and English. But I don’t have that with me to read while I’m serving at Mass. Altar boys have to memorize and recite everything in Latin! Even the words in English don’t mean much to the 12-year-old.

The dialog of “Prayers at the Foot of the Altar" is like this (as close as I can recall it):

PRIEST: “Et introibo ad altare dei"
And I will go into the altar of God

12 YEAR OLD: "Ad deum qui laetificat juventutem meam”
To God who brings joy to my youth.

LATER IN THE PRAYERS – 12-YEAR OLD: “Quia tu es, Deus, fortitudo mea. Quare me repulisti, et quare tristis incedo dum affligit me inimicus.”
For You, O God, are my strength. Why do you keep me so far away? Why must I go around in sadness while my enemy oppresses me?

The 12-year-old altar boy was mostly happy. What’s up with bringing joy? The 12-year-old had never experienced real sadness or real  joy. The 12-year-old never felt like God was keeping him far away. He never felt really close to God either. It was all just words – whether Latin or English. Or was it? Maybe he just accepted the truth that was beyond his understanding.

Now let’s fast forward to this day in the life of the man who is many times older than 12 years old. He has a different understanding of the prayers; he knows that God isn’t keeping him far away. It’s the other way around.

Yet, the vision of self at the age of 12 was very important, and entirely proper for the moment of temptation. The vision re-created the innocence and trust of 12 years old.

Didn’t Jesus tell me that I must enter the Kingdom of God like a child? For that one brief moment, this man was able to do that; I was that 12-year-old again.

Thanks be to God.