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Have you ever had one of those moments where something so inexplicable happens that you say “it just had to be God?” We might call this serendipity or divine coincidences, or “God-incidences,” but it is undeniable that God works in our lives in mysterious ways, especially when we are attuned to His way of working.
Being attuned to this often requires a humble disposition of surrender to God’s will. And that means navigating the proper way to be close with people of power or influence and receiving their guidance, knowing how to trust our inclinations, and knowing the difference between accepting/embracing suffering versus seeking out suffering.
All of this was discussed in our most recent “Living Jesus” chat discussion. Come join in this lively discussion on trusting God and tiptoeing through the minefield of our many sins and flaws.
And check out our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Each Sunday we read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing.
Visitation Sister: Can we have a happenstance or serendipity in this snow situation?
Sherry: LOL…good one Sister. Well, I was just walking the dog, (against his will, cause he hates the high snow banks), but I thought to myself, it was kind of nice that we all were on the street shoveling snow, it was a nice experience as a family – but also chatting with the neighbors…. If my husband’s snow blower – which is brand-new and was more expensive than most things in our house – would not have quit on Friday morning, we would have all stayed in the house, no need for shoveling. So, I guess this was kind of “happenstance.”
Caroline: Connection wins over convenience.
Sherry: That is a great sentence, Carol.
Question: What is happenstance or serendipity? Are these just life’s happy little moments, or is there an element of “divine coincidence” (providence)?
Caroline: I vote for divine coincidence.
Sherry: As I am thinking back on these moments, where there were “divine coincidences” … then I notice that they all have one thing in common, they just happened, without me – pleading for them,
Rebecca: Wow! I missed a lot. Guess I should have stayed put.
Sherry: So, what I want to say is, when we are close to God’s heart, then we are in a stream of “divine coincidences” in a way, I guess. What that means for me then, I can trust that God is leading my ways.
Caroline: Yes, and because we received the grace to have our eyes open looking for Him.
Visitation Sister: To live from moment to moment with God’s ways and surprises, so beautiful.
Sherry: Life can become pretty easy if we truly fully allow ourselves to fall into God’s hands and trust His ways.
Caroline: He is always surprising me, with sunsets, with cloud art. With people who let me talk about Him. And since I’m on the road a lot, those couple minute delays keep me out of trouble.
Rebecca: Beautiful!
Sherry: Yes, Caroline… I can see how he guides your steps, One by one, lovely.
Visitation Sister: Sometimes what seems like trouble can be His guidance.
Rebecca: Even the surprise “mistake” call I got from you, Caroline. How good to hear your voice!
Caroline: That was pretty funny, Rebecca. The company I was supposed to be calling is right above you in my contact list. That's why I was so confused.
Sherry: Good point, not every happenstance is necessarily happy at first glance.
Caroline: Yes, He helps me tiptoe through the minefield of ingrained sin/flaws.
Rebecca: “Tiptoe through the minefields,” interesting expression.
Caroline: Sometimes I don’t hear Him right and one of them explodes in my face.
Question: How can we strike the balance of being friends or friendly with someone in a place of stature, power, or fame? Should we just avoid relationships with them since we might risk wanting a relationship because of their status instead of for them?
Rebecca: I guess I would need more feedback — more people in my life — to get me to work on my flaws — like not doing much of anything in a timely fashion. Lord, have mercy!
Caroline: This is hard to discern. I was very close with my first boss out of college. Other bosses have complained that I treat everyone the same without regard for their authority. People are only too happy to point out what they think my flaws are. It was many years ago…looking back I wonder if it touched me with an air of disobedience.
Visitation Sister: I would say being friendly but not being friends would be more comfortable for me with an authority.
Rebecca: I think that is good, treating people the same – with respect – whether in authority or “below” you in the human pecking order. I guess that it is just certain people in authority who might have a problem with that.
Caroline: They are responsible for other people’s souls, so they have to know their own.
Rebecca: If your first, foremost, allegiance to Authority is to the ONE, then in some circumstances, disobedience can be a virtue!
Visitation Sister: True in some cases.
Caroline: That's true.
Question: Saint Francis exhibited much humility in his role as bishop. Why is this paramount for a bishop or a priest?
Visitation Sister: Humility is paramount for all of us as well.
Rebecca: Jesus was humble, and priests & bishops are “other” Christs.
Caroline: And we must know our strengths and weaknesses to serve properly.
Visitation Sister: Heaven is filled with the humble.
Rebecca: And people generally will not share their hearts with an arrogant “superior.” Many medical mistakes come about because a nurse or a patient is unwilling to point out a problem.
Caroline: It’s a total turnoff.
Visitation Sister: Probably goes for every field, Rebecca.
Question: Why is discernment in all things, not just our vocations, important?
Caroline: To be as sure as we can we are always following God’s will.
Rebecca: To be obedient to God, one needs to know what God wishes of us SPECIFICALLY.
Visitation Sister: Or of a situation, or even a community’s choice.
Rebecca: Yes.
Caroline: There is not one aspect of our lives He does not know and care about.
Rebecca: And it can be very helpful to get the opinion of others, or another as long as that other has the same set of values.
Question: How can we, as Saint Francis instructs, know that we can trust our inclinations and go with them?
Caroline: That is hard for me. Sometimes I just say a prayer and go.
Visitation Sister: I am a slow decider.
Rebecca: If the choice is in itself good or at least morally indifferent, if we are seeking God’s will in all things, sometimes it is sufficient to say one quick prayer and GO, even if the outcome appears to be a mistake.
Question: And does his advice about not asking for the suffering that Our Lord endured seem contrary to his advice from other letters to embrace suffering?
Caroline: I think God allows the suffering that will bring us salvation, and every person is different.
Sherry: I agree, Caroline.
Rebecca: That is one of the reasons I am considering a new retirement “vocation.”
Sherry: And Rebecca, that sounds intriguing – anything you can share about your new retirement vocation?
Rebecca: Embracing the suffering that is “given” to us is very different from looking for suffering!
Sherry: I just wanted to write the same, Rebecca. There is a big difference between asking for suffering than accepting suffering from the Lord’s hand.
Caroline: And asking for someone else’s suffering–we cannot take their pain away.
Rebecca: It is one thing to do little penances that can be likely good. But God wants his children to be happy AND wants to forgive; people who go looking for suffering are often trying to punish themselves. Even wrist slitters feel a sense that they are letting something bad out.
Sherry: I do not doubt that some were called to glorify God with active suffering. In a way every martyr did this… but if we are not clearly called to this, then I think it is actually sinful to do this and violates God’s intention of goodness to our life. Again, I am speaking about actively inviting suffering – not just accepting suffering in our lives.
Caroline: It’s a little vain.
Sherry: You mean, like feeling so holy that we think we can handle more suffering than the portion that is given to us through life?
Sherry: Is that the vanity you meant, Caroline?
Caroline: Yes.
Sherry: I agree.
Question: When St. Francis talks about seeking “people of all-round discernment” and a bee taking honey from many flowers, he seems to say that we can seek advice from many others. Do you seek out priests or others with a good sense of discernment? What kind of person would be good for such purposes?
Caroline: Yes, I ask my director, old friends, and some in my community as well as everyone here.
Sherry: I love to meet with people, who are close to God’s heart, and can hear it in my voice when I stray away from thoughts and discernments towards God. People were just speaking my honest thoughts out loud are actually making things clearer to me, even if they do not answer; having said them in the presence of a God-fearing person, often clarifies a lot. A Spiritual Director should be a person like this for his directees.
If you enjoyed this article, why not join us at our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Join us at 7:30 p.m. ET each Sunday! We read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing!
Kevin J. Banet is a journalist and publicist. He provides marketing for religious communities, non-profits and healthcare services. Kevin and his family live in the Chicago area. His website is VocationPromotion.com.
