Their Radiant Faces
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One of the things I dislike about women is that there is a constant temptation to judge each other, feel insulted or hurt by slights, and be resentful of another’s gifts. Women also have this tendency to pack together and commiserate about whoever they are seemingly hurt by, unlike men who often just let it go and don’t spend hours rehashing it.
It seems like we never stop being hurt, insulted, injured, threatened by, or jealous of another woman in our midst. This has been my experience of women over the last three decades of my life and especially in my adulthood.
Women can be pretty brutal to each other, judging each others’ weaknesses and imperfections harshly, insulting one another, injuring each other’s reputations, and being jealous of the gifts given to other women. We are prone to speaking harshly about our female enemies behind their backs, condemning them, and maybe even hating them. We often manifest our anger in gossip, commiserating, and jealousy.
We’re not very merciful to each other, like Jesus calls for in today’s Gospel.
Consider how many hours you spend in gossip, commiseration, resentment, jealousy, anger, judgement, or other negative feelings towards people you consider your enemies. The answer may surprise you.
How can we overcome these tendencies?
I find myself coming back to this question when faced with the temptation: 1) What is this person struggling with and how would Divine Love want me to respond to this person? 2) Is there some impure motive in me that’s leading to these feelings and behaviors toward a woman I dislike?
Every woman I know is facing some sort of battle, trial, unfulfillment, insecurity, or damage to a dream they had. Conversely, many of us find ourselves driven by the values of this world - power, honor, riches, and so forth -- when in reality, there are enough gifts in this world for us all to receive.
Maybe we need to start seeing beyond the behavior, the insults, and the hurts we experience from one another to the root of where they are coming from – a deeper brokenness that asks for love and mercy rather than judgment and condemnation.
Katie Zalany lives in Cleveland Ohio. She is a Third Order Secular Franciscan (OFS), spiritual director, benefits/wellness leader, certified health and life coach, and volunteer. She is the creator of the ministry Women in Waiting | Made for Fruitfulness and is a published author. Her writing interests and focus areas include Gospel reflections, Franciscan spirituality, women's spirituality, prayer, and integration of faith and daily living.
